John 17: Facing Pain With the Truth, Not Bandages

Introduction

John 17 records what is probably the most intimate prayer of Jesus: the eternal Son speaking to his heavenly Father, just before the cross. Pedro David Alves, at Iglesia Salem Madrid, stops here for the sixth message of the "Referentes" series, devoted to spiritual mentoring.

In this prayer, Jesus knows he is about to leave and that those who stay behind will suffer. He has hidden nothing from them. He does not ask the Father to take them out of the world. He asks him to keep them and to sanctify them in the truth.

The preacher draws four principles from it, for the one who mentors and for the one who is mentored. He illustrates them with two pages from his own story: a crisis of faith after his conversion, and his parents' divorce when he was fourteen.

Outline of the Message

1. The Finished Work of Jesus: Making Disciples

In verse 4, Jesus says: "I glorified you on the earth. I have accomplished the work which you have given me to do." He says it before the cross, before the "It is finished."
The great work is the salvation of humanity, accomplished on the cross and in the resurrection. But verses 6 to 8 mention another one, already completed: walking alongside and shaping a group of men the Father had entrusted to him, sharing the road, the table, and the conversations with them.
Jesus revealed the Father's name to them. In the Bible, a name speaks of a person's character, of who they are in essence. He showed them that the Father is love, but also holiness and justice, and how a human being relates to him: through prayer, which he practiced before their eyes, through obedience, and through trust even when the results are not yet visible.
He also gave them the Father's words. He taught them the Scriptures, corrected their wrong interpretations, and above all he lived these truths in front of them. "They saw the Father's words in the way Jesus lived."

2. A Prayer That Reaches You

Jesus then prays for his disciples: "Holy Father, keep them through your name which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are" (verse 11).
Then his gaze goes further: "Not for these only do I pray, but for those also who believe in me through their word" (verse 20). "He also prays for the Church, he also prays for you, he also prays for me."
Jesus has in mind what is called spiritual reproduction. This is the thread of the series: spiritual mentoring is part of the Christian life. It is not reserved for a few chosen people or a special class.
"We all need a Paul," someone who helps us grow, and a Timothy, an apprentice whom we help grow. A good part of what you need in order to grow, God will give you through the people around you. And what God has placed in you cannot stop with you.

3. Preparing for a Real Life, Not an Ideal One

Jesus knows he is leaving and that his disciples are staying: "I am no more in the world, and these are in the world" (verse 11). "The world hated them, because they are not of the world" (verse 14).
From chapters 13 to 16, he speaks to them openly about betrayal, persecution, sadness, rejection, and even death: "They will put you out of the synagogues. Yes, the time comes that whoever kills you will think that he offers service to God" (John 16:2). He adds: "But I have told you these things, so that when the time comes, you may remember that I told you about them" (John 16:4).
The preacher loves this "brutal" honesty of Jesus and of the Bible. John 16:33 holds two realities together: "In the world you have oppression; but cheer up! I have overcome the world." Affliction in the world, peace in him.
Converted 29 years ago, Pedro David Alves thought that if following Jesus was the truth, everything would now go wonderfully. After a honeymoon period with the Lord, the old temptations came back stronger, some members of his family rejected him, and he experienced disappointments and injustices. He came to ask: "Where is God? Why aren't his promises being fulfilled in my life?"
God then gave him John 16:20: "You will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy." He understood that God had not failed on a single promise: "It was a problem of expectations."
The mentor who passes on an ideal vision of Christianity sets his apprentice up for difficulty. When pain and opposition come, the apprentice will say, "Nobody told me this would happen," and will believe that God has let him down. First principle: do not prepare the disciple for an ideal life, but help him live a real life faithfully.

4. Walking With Someone in Suffering Without Trying to Remove It

The most surprising moment comes in verses 15 and 16: "I pray not that you would take them from the world, but that you would keep them from the evil one." Jesus has just announced that they will be hated and that some will be killed, and he does not ask that they be spared this road. He asks that they remain faithful to the end.
The preacher tells how he taught his oldest son to ride a bike. He ran behind him with a hand on the saddle, catching him at the slightest wobble. One day, his own mother called him on the phone. When he turned around, his son was riding on his own, "almost ready for the Tour de France."
As parents and as mentors, we often want to spare those we accompany any suffering. Sometimes out of love, sometimes because we feel responsible, sometimes out of fear that they will lose heart and drift away from the Lord. But often, without realizing it, we rush to solve their problem in order to ease our own discomfort.
He calls this the "spiritual tech support" syndrome: a quick diagnosis ("Have you sinned? Have you read the Bible? Have you prayed?"), then a ready-made answer, "all things work together for good," and we go on our way untroubled.
Walking with someone sometimes means simply staying. Staying beside the person who is suffering without having all the answers, without being bothered by the silences. Jesus himself said to his disciples: "I have yet many things to tell you, but you can't bear them now" (John 16:12). There is a right moment for every promise.

5. Relieving or Healing: The Bandages We Put on Pain

The apprentice, too, has trouble enduring pain over time. He looks for relief rather than the real solution.
The preacher uses the image of the engine warning light that comes on in the dashboard. It bothers you every morning, until the day you stick a sticker over it. He himself, when his car makes a worrying noise, turns up the radio. "Out of sight, out of mind." The engine is not repaired for all that.
This is exactly what we do with pain: we apply bandages, strategies to stop thinking about or feeling what disturbs us. He distinguishes three kinds.
The obvious bandages: everyone recognizes them as an escape. Alcohol, drugs, sex, compulsive shopping, binge eating, hours spent on video games.
The socially accepted bandages: they win admiration. Working enormously, serving everyone, giving yourself entirely to sport. People congratulate you, and nobody sees that behind it is someone who does not want to stop in front of God, because the inner emptiness would then become unbearable.
The subtle bandages: they make you look mature and spiritual. Rationalization, which excuses a harsh father who was stingy with affection ("he worked so hard, he had a difficult childhood himself") without ever letting God heal the wound. Humor, which turns a string of breakups into a joke ("I have a master's in breakups, I'm working on the doctorate") so as not to admit the fear of hoping again. Spiritualization, which says "The Lord will provide" in order to stop looking for work, when it is really hiding the weariness of being rejected.
Some bring shame, others bring prestige, the last kind makes you look spiritual. All of them keep hidden a hurt that has to come to light in order to be treated. Third principle: a good mentor knows the difference between relieving a pain and healing it, and teaches it to his disciple.

6. Facing Pain With the Truth

Jesus passed the Father's words on to his disciples (verse 8) and he prays: "Sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth" (verse 17). The Word is not only there to instruct us. It transforms us right down to the way we interpret and face pain.
Psalm 73, by Asaph, gives an example in four steps. First, acknowledge what hurts: "For I was envious of the arrogant, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked" (verse 3). Asaph honestly names his frustration.
Next, discern the conclusions that pain pushes us to draw: "Surely in vain I have cleansed my heart" (verse 13). Pain always distorts our thinking. The question to ask: "What are you coming to believe about yourself, about others, about God, because of your suffering?"
Then let God's truth transform your outlook: "Until I entered God's sanctuary" (verse 17). There is the reality you see, and there is always a higher reality, God's.
Finally, respond. You can receive the truth and change nothing. Asaph, for his part, leaves the sanctuary saying: "Whom do I have in heaven? There is no one on earth who I desire besides you" (verse 25). His situation has not changed, but his perspective has: "I am richer than they are, I have all the riches in Christ." In the world he has tribulation, in God he has peace.
Fourth principle: a good mentor always helps his apprentice face pain with the truth.

7. Five Years of Bandages, Then Meeting Jesus

Faced with the warning light, there are only two choices: hide it or go to the garage. Faced with suffering, it is the same: cover yourself with bandages, or come to God and treat the pain with his truth.
At fourteen, Pedro David Alves sees his father gather his older sister and him, then cry in front of them for the first time: his parents are going to divorce. He goes out to meet his friends. Someone hands him a cigarette, a friend kisses him, and he feels relief. But when he gets home, his father is packing his suitcase, and all the pain comes back.
Yet he holds on to the lesson: to find relief, you have to stay with your friends, smoke, and go out with as many girls as possible. He lives like this for five years, a sticker placed over the red light of his heart.
At nineteen, he meets Jesus Christ, who confronts him with his pain and his bandages: only the truth can set a person free. It was painful, and still is. This year, God gave him a new mentor who helps him spot his subtle bandages. "It's easier to face lies than to look squarely at the truth that is in you. But it is worth it."
His closing appeal: "Jesus does not promise you a life without suffering," but he invites you to come with your pain. To live a life without bandages, a real life, where you carry pain over time with the help of God and of others. "A mature disciple is not someone who has stopped suffering, but someone who has learned not to run from God in the middle of suffering."

Key Takeaways

Before the cross, Jesus had already finished a work: making disciples by showing them the Father's character and living his words in front of them.
We all need a Paul who helps us grow and a Timothy to help grow.
Prepare those you mentor for a real life: in the world they will have tribulation, in Christ they will have peace.
Mentoring does not mean removing every difficulty. It often means staying present, without having all the answers.
Bandages relieve without healing. Only God's truth transforms the way we face pain.

Personal Application

Who is your "Paul" today, and who could be your "Timothy"?
What expectations have you placed on the Christian life that Jesus never promised you?
When someone you love is suffering, are you trying to help them or to ease your own discomfort?
What bandage are you putting on your pain: obvious, socially accepted, or subtle?
What is your current suffering pushing you to believe about yourself, about others, or about God, and what does his Word say about it?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

What work does Jesus say he finished in John 17:4?

Even before the cross, Jesus says he has finished the work the Father gave him. For Pedro David Alves, verses 6 to 8 describe it: forming a group of disciples entrusted to him by the Father, revealing the Father's name to them, that is, his character, and passing on his words to them by living them in front of them.

Why doesn't Jesus ask the Father to take his disciples out of the world?

In John 17:15, Jesus prays that his disciples be kept from the evil one, not taken out of the world. The preacher sees in this the difference between walking with someone through difficulty and removing every difficulty from their path. A good mentor does not always keep a hand on the bike saddle.

What are the bandages we put on pain?

They are the strategies we use to stop thinking about or feeling what hurts. Pedro David Alves distinguishes three kinds: the obvious ones (alcohol, drugs, compulsive shopping), the socially accepted ones (work, service, sport), and the subtle ones (rationalization, humor, spiritualization). All of them relieve without healing.