Matthew 5: Loving Your Enemy Starts With Receiving Love

Introduction

"Who is my neighbour?" That is the question of the third episode of "Foundations," Christian Fellowship Church's four-part video series on the Sermon on the Mount. The series host sits down with Charlotte and Gareth Baxter, who have been involved in compassion work and mission for some twenty years, to read Matthew 5:43-48.

Here Jesus corrects a truncated reading of Scripture: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies." For the host, these words could not be more timely: we live in a moment when people feel entitled to hate everyone who does not think like them. The conversation shows where this command is lived out, why we should follow it, how to begin, and where the strength to live it comes from.

Outline of the message

1. "You have heard... but I tell you"

• The host admits that this passage scares him: the Pharisee in him also knows how to take Scripture, leave part of it aside, and make it say what suits him.
• Jesus corrects a teaching that had lost the meaning of the text: love your neighbour and hate your enemy. His answer is radical: love your enemies, and even pray for those who persecute you.
• Charlotte points out the rhythm running through the whole Sermon on the Mount: "You have heard this, but I tell you that." It is the same choice as at the end of the sermon: build on sand or build on rock (Matthew 7:24-27).
• Building on rock will be neither easy nor obvious, and it will not be what the majority does. Jesus also speaks of the narrow gate and the wide gate (Matthew 7:13-14). This choice will be countercultural, and everything in you will say: "Why should I do it when others don't?"

2. The enemy is not only on a large scale

• Some say to themselves: "That's impossible." Others think: "I hope so-and-so is listening to this." In both cases, we forget that the call is for us.
• Loving your enemy is not limited to the "macro" level: a group everyone rejects, or people you disagree with politically. For Charlotte, the root is "micro." It is in the very small things that you see whether you are building on sand or on rock.
• For example: you receive a slightly curt email. What do you feel in that moment? How do you reply? There is also the person who tries to ruin your reputation or talks about you behind your back.
• Everything in you protests: if I love them, am I not condoning their bad behaviour? Don't I become a doormat? Hence the question: if Jesus asks us to love our enemies, what is the motivation?

3. The motivation: becoming like your Father

• Jesus gives the reason in verse 45: "that you may be children of your Father who is in heaven," and he concludes in verse 48: "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."
• Charlotte asks about the ultimate goal of your life. You may want to be understood, treated with respect, sincerely loved, and these are legitimate desires. But for the Christian, the ultimate goal is to become like our heavenly Father. It is both a goal and a radical invitation.
• The Father makes his sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. His love is not contractual: it is not "you give to me, I give back to you." He keeps coming toward you, whatever happens.
• The Father wants to put this love in us to make us a different kind of humanity, one that nobody believes is possible. When people cross your path, they then meet something so whole, so beautiful and so distinct that it makes them stop and take notice.

4. A concrete step: pray for those who persecute you

• The goal is clear, but how do you get there when your spontaneous reaction is hatred? "I'm only human," people say. Charlotte points out that Jesus gives something concrete to move in this direction: pray for those who persecute you.
• The moment you feel hatred rising, you can say: "I now choose to build my life on the rock." You pause and pray for that person, sometimes through gritted teeth.
• It is not about praying: "Lord, judge them, expose them." It is about blessing them, praying for them as if they were your best friend.
• Even if you don't really mean it at first, praying for the one who wronged you works like a spade driven into the hardness of your heart, turning over the soil. The longer you leave bitterness untreated, the harder the ground becomes, and the longer it will take to plough it again.
• The host sums it up: nothing is more dangerous than justifying your hatred.

5. Gareth's testimony: a choice every day

• The host has seen Gareth treat with the same dignity the man who comes in off the street and the CEO of a company. Gareth, for his part, says he is "unfinished," learning every day, and adds: "I'm not Mother Teresa."
• He deeply believes that most people try to be good and to do good. He admits he has not experienced persecution, but he has lived through difficult situations.
• He likes rules, boundaries, landmarks. When he came to faith, he received the Beatitudes as a guide for his choices. If I can't make those choices, he says, it falls to me and not to someone else: choosing to forgive, choosing to pray, choosing not to hold a grudge.
• Every day, he says to God: "Here I am, make me like you." He distinguishes between loving someone and loving what they do: he does not always like other people's words or actions, but he keeps the choice of his own reaction.
• He quotes a motto of his father's: "You do what is right because it is right." When you see no one as above or below you, you can meet each person where they are, CEO or not, and see in them the person God created, a bearer of the image of Christ.

6. Seeing beyond behaviour

• What shaped Gareth? "Without a doubt, other people." People who saw the good in him, who believed in him, who looked beyond his behaviour, his bad attitudes and his sin, and who stood by him.
• Forty years ago, someone told him: "You're not as bad as you think you are, Baxter." That sentence stayed with him, and it is what he tries to pass on to everyone he meets.
• Charlotte draws out the principle: you become a person of love by receiving love. Someone whose behaviour hurts others will not be transformed if love is withheld because they do not deserve it. They can only be transformed by receiving love while undeserving. Gareth replies: "That's the gospel in action."
• The host tells of a summer camp where he supervised a young man, one of the most difficult people he has ever worked with. Then he met his father, his coldness, his harshness. In understanding his story, he understood him, and everything changed.
• Gareth goes further than the story: see in each person a bearer of the image of Christ, and ask how to walk alongside them where they are and pass on to them a little of their worth.

7. Receiving love in order to become love

• For the host, who is a pastor, the success of a life as a disciple of Jesus is measured by the ability to love, particularly those who are different.
• He mentions Gerald Sittser's book, Water from a Deep Well: in the late 100s and early 200s, two epidemics nearly wiped out Rome, and it was Christians willing to approach the sick who helped the city. They said: "You are worthy of dignity, even if it costs me."
• How do you become like that? Charlotte answers: to become love, you must first be loved, and receive love above all from God. When you look at him, you do not see someone who hates you. You see someone who says to you: "You're not as bad as you think you are."
• This does not mean God ignores our behaviour. But when he says "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect," it is a word of confidence in you, a trajectory: he sees the person he created you to be from the beginning.
• Being in the presence of such love heals, disarms, softens our sharp edges and makes us warmer and kinder, because we no longer need to protect ourselves so much. The most loving people have deeply received God's love, particularly within an imperfect community. Without that, "you don't stand a chance": you cannot love this way simply because it is a rule.

Key takeaways

• Jesus corrects "love your neighbour and hate your enemy": he calls us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us.
• The call is lived out first in everyday life: a curt email, a criticism, a rumour. That is where you build on sand or on rock.
• The motivation is to become like the Father, whose love is not contractual and who sends rain on the just and the unjust.
• Praying for those who hurt you, even through gritted teeth, turns over the soil of your heart before bitterness hardens it.
• You become a person of love by receiving love, first God's, who sees in you the person he created you to be.

Personal application

1. Who, this week, has stirred up irritation or anger in you, even over something small?
2. Is there a form of hatred or grudge that you are justifying right now?
3. Can you take a moment today to bless that person in prayer, even if you don't feel it yet?
4. What is the story behind the behaviour of someone who bothers you, and how could you see in them a bearer of the image of Christ?
5. Do you let God love you, or are you trying to love others only because it is a rule?

Verses cited

• Matthew 5:43-48
• Leviticus 19:18
• Matthew 7:13-14
• Matthew 7:24-27

Frequently asked questions

What does Jesus mean by "love your enemies" in Matthew 5?

Jesus corrects a teaching that said: "You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy." He calls us to love those who oppose us as well, and to pray for them. In the conversation, Charlotte stresses that this is not only about whole groups we disagree with, but also about the small things of everyday life, like an unpleasant email.

How do I pray for someone who has hurt me?

It is not about asking God to judge or expose that person, but to bless them, to pray for them as if they were your best friend. Even if you don't really mean it yet, this act works like a spade that turns over the hardened soil of your heart before bitterness sets in.

How can I become someone who loves their enemies?

You do not become a person of love by applying a rule. According to Charlotte, the only way to become a person of love is to receive love, first God's, who already looks at us as the people he created us to be. This love heals, disarms and softens our sharp edges.