Introduction
You have just heard about a death and you are looking for the right words for a card, a text or a voice message. This page offers 15 sincere messages, sorted by your relationship with the family and by the person who has died. Choose the one that sounds like you, change a word if you like, then send it without delay: an imperfect message today is better than a perfect one that never arrives.
Short condolence message for someone close
For a family member or a very close friend, simplicity is enough. Do not try to explain death or to comfort with arguments: say that you are there.
"I am thinking of you with all my heart. I have no words equal to your pain, but I am here, at any hour, to cry with you or simply to be silent beside you."
"Your dad leaves a great emptiness, and I know how much you loved him. I am praying that God will hold you up these days. Call me whenever you want, even in the middle of the night."
"Your mom was a light to so many people, and to me too. I am holding you in my arms, from far away as from near, and I am carrying your family in my prayers."
"Losing your husband after so many years together is losing a part of yourself. I will not tell you it will get better soon. I will tell you that I am coming on Sunday with a meal, and you have nothing to prepare."
"I cannot believe your little angel is gone. There are no words, so I cry with you. May God be very close to you in this night, and me too."
Condolence message for a colleague
With a colleague, stay measured and respectful. You can mention your faith gently, without imposing it: one sentence about your prayer is enough, asking nothing in return.
"Please accept my sincere condolences on the passing of your father. Take all the time you need, the team will take care of everything. I am thinking of you and your family with deep sympathy."
"The whole team was saddened to learn of your mother's death. We wish you strength and gentleness in these difficult days. Do not worry about work."
"I am sorry for the loss of your husband. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers, if you will accept them. Do not hesitate to ask me for a favor, even a small one."
"We are deeply grieved by the death of your child. There are no words for such a trial. Please know that we are thinking of you and supporting you, each in our own way."
"Sincere condolences to you and your loved ones. When you come back, there will be no pressure, only colleagues who are happy to see you again and ready to support you."
Christian condolence message for a friend in the faith
Among brothers and sisters in Christ, you can speak openly about your hope and your prayer. Still, stay humble: your friend is grieving, and does not need a lesson in theology.
"My brother, I weep with you over your mom's passing. I believe she is in the peace of the Lord, and I know that does not take away your pain. I am praying for you every morning this week."
"My sister, your dad loved God and served him faithfully, and his witness still lives in us. May the Lord be your strength when the tears come. Let's get together to pray whenever you like."
"I do not understand why your husband left so soon, and I will not pretend to. I only know that God is close to you tonight. I am here to listen, and to say nothing if that is what you need."
"When a child goes, faith is put to a hard test. You have the right to cry out, to weep and to ask why. God can bear all of that. Your wife and you are surrounded by our friendship and our prayers."
"We embrace you in this trial. May the peace of Christ guard your heart, even when you cannot feel it. And if you lack the strength to pray, let us do it in your place."
Verses to slip into your condolence message
A well-chosen verse can go with your card. Add it after your message, on its own, without commenting on it: Scripture speaks better than we do.
Psalm 34:18
"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."
The best fit for someone whose heart is broken. It speaks of God's nearness without promising that the pain will disappear. Read all of Psalm 34.
Psalm 23:4
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
Especially fitting when the person who died was a believer, or when the family is facing fear of what comes after. It speaks of the reassuring presence in the valley. Read all of Psalm 23.
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
A short sentence from Jesus, ideal for a text message. It acknowledges that those who mourn have every right to mourn. Read all of Matthew 5.
Revelation 21:4
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; neither will there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain, any more. The first things have passed away."
For a longer card, when you want to open toward the hope of the end of tears, especially after the death of a child or a spouse. Read all of Revelation 21.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, I give to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful."
Keep it for someone who is worn out and restless with grief. It speaks of a peace that the world does not know how to give. Read all of John 14.
How to write your own condolence message
Name the person who has died by first name or by their relationship to the family ("your dad," "your wife"). It shows that you thought of them, not just of an event.
Add a specific memory if you have one: a laugh, a favor, a phrase they often repeated. A grieving family keeps these lines for years.
Avoid phrases that play down the loss: "it's for the best," "she is free now," "everything happens for a reason." Even when true, they land badly at the wrong moment.
Offer concrete help with a date: a meal on Tuesday, childcare, your presence at the service. Then keep your word, and write again a few weeks later, when everyone else has gone back to their own lives.
Further reading
Frequently Asked Questions
What should you say in a Christian condolence message?
Say that you are thinking of the family, name the person who has died, offer concrete help and mention your prayer if you are a believer. Keep it simple: a few sincere sentences are worth more than a long pious text that sounds hollow.
Can you quote the Bible in a condolence message?
Yes, as long as you choose a verse of comfort and do not use it as an argument. Place it at the end of your message. If you do not know how the family feels about faith, prefer a sentence about your prayer over a long passage.
Do you have to reply to a condolence message?
It is never an obligation, especially in the first days. Many families give thanks later, with a short card or when they meet. If you are the one receiving the message, a simple thank you is enough.
When should you send a condolence message?
As soon as possible after the death is announced, but a late message is still precious. In the first days the family is surrounded. It is often a few weeks later, when messages become rare, that yours will count the most.
to take notes and ask questions.