7 ways to change how you see yourself

Step 2: seven things for today

Learning to like yourself doesn't happen in a day. But you can slowly change the way you treat yourself. Here are small exercises you can start today. Try the one that draws you most first.

1. 1.Notice how you talk to yourself

   For one day, pay attention to the words you use with yourself. "I messed up again." "There's no way I can do this anyway." When one of those sentences shows up, write it down. Then ask yourself whether you could say it to a close friend. If the answer is no, then those words aren't meant for you either. Noticing is already the beginning of change.

2. 2.Write three wins every night

   Before bed, write down three things you managed to do today. "I got up on time." "I said hello to a coworker." "I folded the laundry." Small things are enough. A heart that looks down on itself only counts what it didn't get done. The habit of counting what you did, night after night, slowly makes the way you see yourself gentler.

3. 3.Compare yourself to yesterday's you

   When you compare yourself to other people, you always feel like you don't measure up. That makes sense: everyone is walking a different path at a different pace. If you want to compare, compare yourself to who you were yesterday, or a year ago. Things you couldn't do last year, you may be able to do now. Growth is measured along your own path.

4. 4.Step back from certain accounts

   If there are accounts that make you feel bad about yourself every time you see them, go ahead and mute them. You don't have to unfollow: simply not seeing them already lightens your heart. What shows up on the screen are the best moments of someone's life. You don't have to compare those hand-picked images with your whole, everyday life.

5. 5.Do one small helpful thing

   When you feel worthless, doing something small for someone else can warm your heart a little. Make tea for a family member, help a coworker carry a box, say hello to a neighbor. Because of your small gesture, someone's day gets a little better. A person's worth doesn't show only in their achievements. It also shows in warm connections like these.

6. 6.Ask what others like about you

   Ask a friend or family member you trust: "What do you think my good qualities are?" It's a little awkward, but sometimes you discover things about yourself you couldn't see. Write down what they say and reread it on the days you feel low. The way others see you is often much warmer, and much kinder, than the way you see yourself.

7. 7.Forgive yourself for your mistakes

   When you fail, do you keep beating yourself up for days? A mistake doesn't decide your worth as a person. Tell yourself: "I got it wrong. Next time, I'll try a different way." Look back at what happened once, then let it end there. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiving yourself isn't letting yourself off easy. It's the strength you need to get back up.