Introduction
News of a wedding delights everyone around. In Japan, congratulations are expressed through a card, a LINE message, or a congratulatory telegram (shukuden) sent to the reception. But weddings have their unlucky words, such as "separate" or "break," and many hesitate over word choice. For a Christian, it is precious to rejoice in the couple's meeting as God's leading and to pray for their future home. This page gathers 17 messages: for friends, for colleagues, for brothers and sisters at church, and for family or a telegram. The words are chosen to be well received even by those without faith. Adapt them to the relationship and add the person's name.
Messages to Friends (Card, Group Card, LINE)
To a friend, express your joy without ceremony and in your own words. Mentioning specifically how they met, or the other person's character, makes the message sincere.
"Congratulations on your marriage! When I heard the news, I was as happy as if it were mine. May your smile grow even wider. When things calm down, let me celebrate quietly with you."
"[name] and [name], congratulations on your marriage. Your meeting is a gift from God. May the days you will spend together be full of smiles and gratitude. I cheer you on with all my heart."
"[name], congratulations on your wedding! Ever since our student days, you have always been kind. Now put that kindness to work for your partner. Build a happy home together."
"Congratulations on your marriage. I am sorry I cannot be at the ceremony, but I pray for you from afar. May your new life be peaceful and joyful. I have sent you a small gift."
"[name], congratulations on your marriage! Take good care of your wife, and never forget to be grateful. Make your home a place where you laugh together."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up."
Ecclesiastes says that two are better than one. It teaches the happiness of having someone to lift us up when we fall. For a friend's new beginning, picture two people supporting each other, and slip it in at the end of the card. Read all of Ecclesiastes 4.
Messages to Colleagues (Boss, Coworker, Junior Staff, Client)
At work, there is no need to quote the Bible. Polite, caring language is the best of wishes. To a boss or client, use more careful phrasing.
"Manager, please accept my sincere congratulations on your marriage. May your days become ever richer, both professionally and privately. I pray to that end."
"[name], congratulations on your marriage! Your news surprised me, but it makes me very happy. May your new life together be warm and happy."
"[name], congratulations on your marriage. I have always watched you work with sincerity. From now on, at work and at home, keep walking as yourself. Be happy."
"I heard of your marriage and offer you my sincere congratulations. I wish with all my heart, and pray, that fruitful days await the two of you as you begin a new life."
Messages from Church and the Pastor
Among church members, rejoice in the couple's meeting as God's leading and promise to pray for their home. The pastor can add that he remains available to listen: that is a support for a young couple.
"[name] and [name], congratulations on your marriage. The whole church rejoices in the meeting God has led. On the day of the ceremony and every day to come, may the Lord's blessing be abundant."
"Congratulations on your marriage. As your pastor, I thank God from my heart that you wish to build a home that worships and prays together. When difficulties arise, come to me at any time."
"[name], congratulations on your wedding! When I think back on the days we spent together in the youth group, my heart is full. In your new home too, keep worship close. Once you are settled, tell us about your new place."
"Teacher [name], congratulations on your wedding! You'll wear a beautiful dress, right? We can't wait. Be happy."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient and is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things."
The love Paul describes is patient, kind, believes all things, endures all things. It speaks of a love that grows over the days, far more than the surges of passion. A message the church gladly offers to those who marry. Read all of 1 Corinthians 13.
Messages from Family and Congratulatory Telegrams
Family says what they have watched grow and the desire to welcome the new spouse. A telegram delivered to the reception must be short and free of unlucky words.
"Congratulations on your marriage. Our sincere congratulations to both families too. May the future of these two be filled with God's blessing. That is our prayer."
"[name], congratulations on your marriage. We watched you grow up, and it moves us. Your uncle and aunt pray for your happiness. Support one another and live in harmony."
"[name], congratulations on your marriage. Grandpa and Grandma are so happy to live this day. We thank God for leading you. May your harmony last a long time."
"[name], congratulations on your marriage. As your sibling, I have always wished for your happiness. Today that day has come, and I am happy. From now on I welcome [name] as one more member of the family."
Colossians 3:14
"Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection."
Paul writes: above all, put on love, which is the bond of perfection. What unites the two spouses is love. As a family too, this verse suits a card full of wishes for the new home. Read all of Colossians 3.
How to Write Your Own Wedding Congratulations
For a wedding, Japanese tradition avoids unlucky words: "separate," "break," "leave," "return," "go away," "end," "shatter." Repeated words such as "again and again" or "once more" also suggest a remarriage and are avoided.
In a telegram, punctuation is traditionally not used, because the comma and the period suggest a break or an end. On LINE or a card, you may use punctuation for readability.
Send the telegram to the reception venue, a few days before the ceremony or the day before at the latest. Check the reception time with the venue so that it arrives in time.
When someone announces a wedding, answer at once with "congratulations." Avoid asking how they met, their ages, the costs or plans for children. "When are you having kids?" is to be avoided above all.
Gift money goes in an envelope with a fixed knot (musubikiri), marked "kotobuki" (longevity, joy). This knot is chosen for an event that should not repeat, unlike the simple bow used for a graduation.
If one of the two has no faith, do not put a verse forward: say calmly "I am praying for your happiness." Whether it is a church wedding or a civil ceremony, respect the form they have chosen.
Further reading
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I put a Bible verse in a wedding card?
For a Christian couple or church friends, a short verse is welcome. For colleagues or people without faith, leave it out: say only, with restraint, "I am praying for your happiness."
What should I reply right away to a wedding announcement?
Express your joy first with "congratulations on your marriage." Hold back the wish to know more and suggest meeting later. On LINE, a short written word is better than a sticker alone.
What if I cannot attend the wedding?
Tell them early that you cannot come, and send your congratulations with gift money or a present before the ceremony. A telegram to the reception is also touching. You can then host a small celebratory meal afterward.