Introduction
At a Japanese wedding and the banquet that follows (the hirōen), it is customary for guests to speak and congratulate the couple: a friend representing the guests, a supervisor from work, people from church. At a Christian wedding you may also be asked to say a few words at the banquet, at an evening party or at a celebration hosted by the church. What matters is not speaking well, but sincerely blessing the couple and saying that you want to support their journey. This page offers 17 examples: as a friend, as a supervisor, as a church member or pastor, and then very short speeches and toasts. Add the couple's names and an anecdote that suits them, and use them.
A Friend's Speech on Behalf of the Guests
A friend's speech is warmer when you tell just one memory. Avoid embarrassing blunders and old romances. Choose an anecdote that shows the kindness of one of the two.
"Dear [name], dear [name], congratulations on your wedding. I have known [name] since our student days. He always cares for others and cannot leave anyone in trouble. I am sure that [name], whom he has chosen, will build a wonderful home with him."
"[name], [name], congratulations. I remember very well the day you first met at church. You greeted each other a little awkwardly, and now here you are side by side. I can only see the hand of God. May you be happy for a long time."
"Dear bride and groom, congratulations. [name] is a person whose smile never fades. When I was down, he stayed beside me without a word, and I will never forget it. I am so glad that you are becoming a family."
"Thank you for inviting me. [name] and [name] seem alike, but they are very different. We, their friends, will keep watching them accept and help each other, and we will keep cheering them on. May you be happy for a long time."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up."
"Two are better than one," says the Teacher. Knowing that someone will lift us up when we fall is one of the greatest supports in life. Quoted in a friend's speech, this verse gently evokes the picture of a couple who hold each other up. If you read it during the ceremony, read it verse by verse, slowly and clearly. Read all of Ecclesiastes 4.
A Supervisor's Speech
A supervisor quietly praises the character seen through work. If you quote the Bible, keep it short and simple, without imposing anything.
"Dear bride and groom, ladies and gentlemen, congratulations. Since joining the company, [name] has worked seriously and enjoys everyone's trust. I am certain he will support his wife just as sincerely. Please keep caring for your work and your home alike."
"Ladies and gentlemen of both families, congratulations. [name] never loses her smile in difficult moments and brightens the whole team. In your new home, that gentleness will light up those around you. I bless you with all my heart."
"[name], [name], congratulations. Work matters, but family matters even more. Do not wear yourselves out, and set aside a little time every day to think of each other. The whole team wishes you happiness from the heart."
"[name] always keeps promises and stays faithful even in small things. That attitude will also be a solid foundation for your marriage. With [name], build a happy home under God's blessing."
A Church Member's or Pastor's Speech
A fellow believer or pastor blesses the couple as friends in the faith and closes with a prayer. Avoid theological jargon and speak in words that everyone understands.
"Dear [name], dear [name], congratulations. In the church you have always served with zeal and supported those around you. That has encouraged us. From now on, as one household, keep serving God together."
"We give thanks that we can see this day when you begin your life as husband and wife in God's blessing. To marry is to make a promise before God to the one you love. In happy days and hard days alike, become a couple who pray together."
"[name], [name], congratulations. The road you chose by praying with each other is surely under God's guidance. As your church family, we will keep praying for you. Always come back to church."
"As a pastor, blessing this couple is a great joy for me. At worship and in daily life, you have shown us what it means to serve one another. May this love remain the foundation of your home. May the peace of the Lord rest on you."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
"Love is patient and is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things."
Love is patient, kind, free of envy and pride, and it bears all things. Often read at weddings, this passage reminds us that love is not only a feeling but a choice made every day. In a fellow believer's or pastor's speech, read it calmly and connect it with the couple's daily life. The room will hear it deeply. Read all of 1 Corinthians 13.
Short Speeches and Toasts
At an evening party or a short celebration, a word of under a minute is welcome. No long speeches are needed. A blessing and an invitation to raise your glasses are enough.
"Dear [name], dear [name], congratulations on your wedding. Wishing you lasting happiness and wishing both families prosperity, I invite you to raise your glasses. Please join me. Cheers!"
"Congratulations to you both. May God's blessing rest abundantly on this new beginning. To the happiness of the bride and groom, cheers!"
"[name], [name], congratulations. Build a home full of harmony and smiles. Dear guests, please take your glasses. Cheers!"
"From my heart, I offer you my congratulations. May your love deepen in the grace of God. Cheers!"
"[name], [name], congratulations on your wedding. May your smiles last forever. Cheers!"
Colossians 3:14
"Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection."
Paul says: above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection. Kindness, humility and patience reach their fulfillment when love binds them together. Even just before a toast or a very short word, this verse is enough to express a deep blessing for the couple. Read all of Colossians 3.
How to Write Your Own Wedding Speech
Pronounce the couple's names correctly. Check in advance how their names are read and what their titles are, so you do not hesitate in front of the room.
Avoid words of ill omen. In Japan, people do not say words like "separate," "cut," "return," "repeat" or "again" at a wedding. Even at a Christian wedding, this is a mark of courtesy to the guests, especially older ones.
Limit yourself to one anecdote. One memory well told, showing both people's personalities, lands better than several stories piled together.
Do not mention past relationships or family matters. Even as a joke, you can hurt someone in the room.
Keep a single, short verse. Announcing the reference before reading it helps guests who are not believers follow along.
Stay under three minutes. You may read from a sheet. End with a blessing and a prayer for the couple.
Further reading
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should a wedding speech be?
Generally two to three minutes, which is about 300 to 600 characters in Japanese. Since there are often several speeches at a banquet, a short and sincere word is preferred.
Can I quote the Bible when many guests are not believers?
Yes, as long as you quote a single verse, short and clear. Say something like "the Bible has this saying" before reading, and avoid long explanations or any tone of persuasion.
Should I avoid words of ill omen even at a Christian wedding?
Apart from faith, it is safer to avoid them out of consideration for the guests, especially older people from both families. Almost anything can be said another way.