Genesis 29: The Redeemer of Families That Hurt Each Other

Introduction

That very morning, Shinya Watanabe tells us, the church council told him he did not need to "put on a good face." The pastor of Ueno no Mori Christian Church admits that he likes to look impressive and wishes he could be free of it. Yet the story for the day features people who put on someone else's clothes in order to deceive. He sees a blessing here: being able to take those clothes off and show ourselves as we are. "I felt this message was meant for me."

The week before, the church had read how Jacob deceived his brother: he put on Esau's festive clothes, tricked his father and stole the blessing, then ran away until his brother's anger cooled. He took refuge with his uncle Laban. There, Jacob would in turn feel what it is like to be trapped by someone else's scheme, and learn the pain of the other person.

Genesis 29:14-30 tells of a rigged wedding and a family where everyone hurts everyone else. The message does not stop at that observation: it shows how God, from the very heart of these wounds, prepares the redeemer.

Outline of the Message

1. A Fugitive in the House of a Craftier Man

The text specifies that Jacob stayed with Laban "for a month." This detail seems unimportant, but if it is written, it has a meaning: this is the moment when it becomes clear that the stay will not last just a week or two.
Laban then offers wages. The pastor supposes that he wanted to set a fixed period and see his nephew leave at the end. Jacob asks instead for his beloved daughter Rachel, in exchange for seven years of work.
Laban may have expected a year at most. "He plans to stay that long?" From that point on, he begins to prepare a way to outmaneuver Jacob.
Leah had "tender eyes." The pastor points out that some translations understand this as "gentle eyes," others as "weak eyes." Rachel, for her part, was beautiful in form and in face.
At first, it may have been a game of tricks between two schemers. But the plan Laban had been maturing for seven years went far beyond the young Jacob.

2. The Wedding Night and the Morning of the Deception

Jacob and Rachel fell in love at first sight (Genesis 29:9-12). The seven years seemed to him like "a few days," the ardor of youth, the pastor smiles.
The wedding feast lasts seven days and is celebrated publicly: in ancient times, everyone could come, to show that the marriage was known to all. On the first evening, the couple is brought together.
Laban waits until the night is pitch dark and brings his daughter to Jacob. In the morning, the woman sleeping beside him is not Rachel, but her older sister Leah. Jacob understands why she said nothing, and that the uncle he trusted has deceived him.
The shock is hard to put into words. Deceived like this by his own family, Jacob may have felt that he no longer had a place anywhere.
Laban replies coldly that custom does not allow the younger daughter to be married before the older. Let Jacob finish the wedding week to save appearances, and he will have Rachel, but at the price of seven more years of unpaid work.
The following seven years seem endless. The older sister of his beloved is now for him only "the woman who joined with her father to deceive me." The text says that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah: this imbalance deepened here.

3. Seven Years to Face Himself

These seven years are also, for Jacob, a time to face his own life and look inside himself.
Leah, who follows her father's plan to deceive him and take the place of first wife, is the exact mirror of Jacob, who followed the plan of his mother Rebekah to deceive his brother and snatch the blessing of the firstborn.
Until then, Jacob saw things only from his own point of view, wanting to defend himself: "I didn't cook this up, it was Mom." Now he can see from the other person's point of view. He understands the distress of his father who trembled, he grasps the disappointment and anger of his brother, and he feels how this despair tears a family apart and divides it.
Becoming aware of one's sin is the work of the Holy Spirit. Jesus said that when the Spirit came, he would convict the world about sin, righteousness and judgment (John 16:8). For the pastor, being led into such a situation is also part of the Spirit's guidance.
But Jacob runs into a limit: he knows his sin and can no longer do anything about it. All he can do is wait for his brother to forgive him. And since he himself struggles to forgive Leah, he understands how hard it will be for Esau to forgive him.
"For human beings, forgiving and being forgiven do not come from within." It must be given from outside, that is, from God.

4. Leah and Rachel, the Victims of the Scheme

Forgiveness is not simple, because it requires a heavy sacrifice. And in this world, it is always the weakest who pay: here Leah, then Rachel.
If custom required the older daughter to marry first, Leah had probably received proposals. The pastor imagines that Laban, determined to outmaneuver Jacob, made them all fall through, and that each time her complex about her appearance was reawakened.
When she is made to put on her sister's clothes to go and deceive Jacob, she may hear: "Without this trick, you would never get married." Then comes the morning when her husband is disappointed to find her at his side. "Her self-esteem probably collapsed."
Rachel, for her part, learns that her sister will take precedence over her on her own wedding day. During the six days of celebration that follow, she has to receive the congratulations of people who know the truth. She sits at the banquet as if on thorns.
The two wounded women become rivals for their husband's love. The rest of the story, with the birth of the children, is a series of blows returned. With the two servants, Zilpah and Bilhah, the situation becomes even more complicated. Jacob, caught between the two, hurts one of them whatever he does.
Jacob had gone as far as deceiving in order to obtain God's blessing, and he finds himself in days that are the opposite of it, unable to do anything about it.
There are united couples and healthy parent-child relationships. There are also families that hurt each other in spite of themselves. "It is not because there is no love," the pastor affirms. Wounds received, inherited temperament, differences in upbringing and relationships imposed on us mean that sadness, suffering and rupture are often born precisely because we are trying to love.

5. God's View of a Hopeless Story

What seems hopeless in human eyes becomes, from God's point of view, a bud of blessing.
From these four women, Leah, Zilpah, Rachel and Bilhah, came the twelve tribes of Israel. Abraham had only one son as heir of the promise, Isaac had two. With twelve sons, the promise of descendants as numerous as the stars (Genesis 15:5) takes shape. Twelve boys, and probably as many girls: a single woman could not have managed it, the pastor notes.
The pastor dwells especially on Judah, the fourth son of Leah, the one who bore the heaviest sacrifice. For her first three sons, she chose names that spoke of her suffering beside Rachel. For this one, she says: "This time I will praise Yahweh" (Genesis 29:35). Judah means praise. In that "this time," we hear a form of deliverance.
Judah nevertheless inherits his family's chain of deceptions. His daughter-in-law Tamar, a childless widow sent back to her father's house, disguises herself as a prostitute to approach him (Genesis 38). She gives birth to Perez, and it is from the line of Perez that Jesus is born.
Matthew cites this story of Tamar in the genealogy of Jesus (Matthew 1:3) as a title of honor: the King was born into a line that went through these sufferings.
From the heart of this wounding family, from Leah, in the midst of this chain of wrong, the Savior was born. The deep wounds received in the family, Jesus redeems entirely. The price of our reconciliation was paid by the sacrifice and death of the Son of God.

6. A Redemption That Has Already Begun

Jacob's life remains a series of deceptions. His sons, born of different mothers, tear each other apart. Joseph, envied, is sold into Egypt, and Jacob is deceived once again: he is shown his son's tunic soaked in blood (Genesis 37:31-33). "Another piece of clothing."
Nearly two thousand years separate Jacob from the coming of Jesus. He died without knowing this redemption, perhaps with the sadness of a family still divided.
You too may not see the reconciliation of your family in your lifetime. You do not have to despair: redemption gives eternal life. In heaven, sufferings are wiped away and God's family knows only mutual love.
Redeemed by Jesus, we can share the sufferings of families that hurt each other and pray for one another, believing in an eternal reconciliation that goes beyond generations.
Jesus, the true intercessor, has redeemed us and calls us to intercede in our turn. "Praying for those who suffer, at the call of Jesus, is the good that God has given us."

7. A Testimony: Laying Down the Mask

Shinya Watanabe tells how fifteen years ago, he wore a mask. He deceived his family, betrayed love, and wounded them deeply, to the point that he could no longer live with them. Having returned to his parents' home, he could no longer stay in the church he was attending then. Alone, he came to Ueno no Mori Church.
The prayer meeting was held on Wednesday at 7 in the morning. An elder of the church, though very busy, was there every week. As they prayed together, the future pastor gradually took off his armor and began to speak, in a low voice, about the family he had wounded.
Convinced he was being rejected, he looked up: the elder was weeping. "Brother, let me pray for you." He added: "I know your pain well. I am here to pray for that pain. Pray also for my family," and he bowed his head before him.
That day, he understood that this church was a place where he could stay with the cracks in his life, a place where someone who has wounded his family can take off his mask. The elder, who had seemed unreachable to him, became like a father in the faith.
Years later, now a pastor, he preached on Job's ten children: they are not lost, they are in eternal life. After the service, the elder came to shake his hand: he had always wondered why God takes children away. "We have not lost them. We will be one in heaven. This is the unshakable hope given to us."
Jesus did not speak of the kingdom of God only as a place we go to after death: he said it is among us (Luke 17:21). Forgiveness and redemption begin already, here.

Key Takeaways

Deceived by Laban as he had deceived Esau, Jacob learns to see his fault from the point of view of those he hurt. This is the work of the Holy Spirit.
Forgiving and being forgiven do not come from us: they are given to us by God, at the price of a sacrifice.
Families often hurt each other not for lack of love, but because wounded people are trying to love.
From the heart of Leah's suffering is born Judah, praise, and from his line is born Jesus, the redeemer of families that hurt each other.
The reconciliation you may not see here below is promised in heaven, but forgiveness and redemption already begin here, and we can pray for one another.

Personal Application

In which family relationship are you still wearing a "borrowed garment" to put on a good face?
Is there a wound you caused that you have never looked at from the other person's point of view?
Whom do you find it hard to forgive, and what does this difficulty teach you about the forgiveness you hope to receive yourself?
Like Leah at the birth of Judah, can you say today, in the middle of your situation: "This time I will praise Yahweh"?
For which family, yours or another, will you intercede this week?

Verses Cited

Genesis 29:14-30: Jacob, Laban, Leah and Rachel
Genesis 29:9-12: Jacob meets Rachel
Genesis 29:35: "This time I will praise Yahweh"
Genesis 27: Jacob deceives his father and takes Esau's blessing
Genesis 15:5: descendants like the stars
Genesis 37:31-33: Joseph's tunic
Genesis 38: Judah and Tamar
Matthew 1:3: Tamar and Perez in the genealogy of Jesus
John 16:8: the Spirit will convict the world of sin
Luke 17:21: the kingdom of God is among you

Frequently Asked Questions

Why did Laban deceive Jacob in Genesis 29?

According to Shinya Watanabe, Laban thought he was hosting his nephew for a year at most. When Jacob asks for his favorite daughter in exchange for seven years of work, Laban begins to prepare a scheme. On the wedding night, he gives him Leah instead of Rachel, then demands seven more years, citing the custom that forbids marrying the younger daughter before the older.

What does Jacob learn during his seven extra years with Laban?

Deceived in his turn, Jacob sees in Leah the reflection of what he did to Esau under his mother's guidance. He begins to look at things from the other person's point of view: his father's distress, his brother's disappointment and anger. The preacher sees in this the work of the Holy Spirit who convicts of sin.

Why is the birth of Judah important in Leah's story?

Leah, the most wounded person in the family, names her first three sons after her suffering beside Rachel. For the fourth, she says: "This time I will praise Yahweh" and calls him Judah, praise. It is from the line of Judah, through Perez, that Jesus will be born, the redeemer of families that hurt each other.