Freedom at the Heart of Family

Introduction

Do you want to live in full freedom in your family relationships? Marie Agostini starts from a simple conviction: the best model of parenting is God the Father. In his Word, he has told us his heart. This message is an invitation to look at that model and let the freedom Jesus won enter the heart of our homes, in place of fear.

Message Outline

1. God our Father gives us the freedom to make good and bad choices

• From creation, God places the tree of choice between good and evil in the middle of the Garden of Eden. The wrong choice is freely accessible, with no buzzer, no legion of angels. It's a Father's choice.
• The difference between God's heart and ours is simple: God isn't afraid of our bad choices. He isn't afraid of your bad choices, or your children's.
• We aren't called to live by fear but by the Spirit of freedom. Fear shouldn't control our choices, and yet that's often what happens in our families.
• Near the end of his life, King David orders a census, a sin rooted in pride. The prophet Gad offers him three choices: famine, fleeing before his enemies, or plague. David chooses the plague because he'd rather remain under God's hand than under men's. He knows God's heart.
• When the plague stops at the threshing floor of Araunah, David refuses to offer a sacrifice that costs him nothing. He buys the land for its full price. He has understood the cost and the bitter taste of his bad choice, and he wants to restore the relationship with God.
• Marie sums it up: "Repentance gives birth to responsibility. Only those who own their choices can taste true freedom." The Father's heart takes no pleasure in seeing his child suffer; what he wants is to bring him back to himself.

2. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom

• Jesus came to free us from the slavery of fear. Too often, we proclaim freedom at church, then go home and put ourselves back under the law: we demand punishment, we want blood to be shed again.
• Discipline is necessary, but only if it brings the person back to the Father's heart. It has no other purpose.
• In the parable of the prodigal son, the younger son demands his inheritance, which amounts to telling his father, "I wish you were dead." The father lets him leave without resisting.
• When the son returns, the father isn't standing at the door with a list of grievances or debts owed. He runs to him while he is still a long way off, moved with compassion. The celebration isn't about rules being kept, it's about the relationship restored.
• The older son, though, doesn't understand: he demands that the debt be paid. But the debt is already paid. Jesus paid it at the cross. Let's not make our families pay it again.
• Marie illustrates this with a glove: on its own, it can do nothing, it cannot write, cook, or grasp anything. Filled by a hand, it can do everything. It's the same hand that fills your life when you let the Holy Spirit dwell in you. Without him, our efforts as a family stay hollow; with him, you can correct a child, carry burdens, find solutions.
• The apostle Paul writes to the Galatians: "Christ set us free that we might know true freedom. Stand firm, then, and don't let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." And further on: "Let the Holy Spirit lead your life… if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law."

Key Takeaways

• God isn't afraid of your bad choices. He isn't afraid of your children's either. What he wants is the relationship.
• Repentance gives birth to responsibility. Only those who own their choices can taste true freedom.
• The Father's heart takes no pleasure in seeing his child suffer. Consequences, when they come, serve to bring us back to the Father's heart, never to humiliate.
• Discipline in the family only makes sense if it teaches the way to the Father's heart. Otherwise, it feeds fear.
• Without the Holy Spirit, our efforts as a family are an empty glove. With him, the same hand can do everything.

Personal Application

1. In your family relationships, when you react, is it love that drives you, or fear?
2. Is there a bad choice, old or recent, for which you haven't yet let repentance do its work in your heart?
3. Like the older son, are you holding onto a list of grievances against someone Jesus has already forgiven?
4. With your children (or loved ones), are you teaching them the way to the Father's heart, or only how to avoid punishment?
5. Where exactly in your family do you need to invite the Holy Spirit to take the lead this week?

Verses Cited

• Galatians 3:26-27 · You are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus
• Genesis 2:8-9 · The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil
• 2 Samuel 24 · David, the census, and the threshing floor of Araunah
• Luke 15:11-32 · The parable of the prodigal son
• Galatians 5:1 · Christ set us free so that we would be free indeed
• Galatians 5:16-18 · Walk by the Spirit

Frequently Asked Questions

Is God afraid of our bad choices?

No. Marie Agostini reminds us that God placed the tree of choice between good and evil at the center of the Garden of Eden. He isn't afraid of our choices, good or bad. What he wants, is to secure the relationship with you and bring you back to his heart through the path of repentance.

How do we lead our children onto the path of repentance without governing them through fear ?

By letting them, whenever possible, taste the cost and the flavor of their bad choices, without sparing the fair consequences, but keeping relationship as the goal, not punishment. Discipline is necessary only to teach them the way to the Father's heart.

What does "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" mean for a family ?

It means that without the Holy Spirit, our efforts as a family are like an empty glove: they can do nothing. When the Holy Spirit fills your life and your home, he frees you from fear, he reaches your children where you cannot go, and he brings everyone back to the Father's heart.