Consecrated Singleness: Serving Christ Undivided

Introduction

Most Christians live with the impression that marriage is an almost mandatory stage of the life of faith. A question raised this week in a community group at Connexion flips that perspective: why do we almost never talk about voluntary singleness, about the advantages of staying single for life? Paul does talk about it. And in 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, he doesn't give a command from the Lord, he gives pastoral advice, as a man worthy of trust, filled with God's Spirit. His advice is surprising: if you can remain single, you do better. Not because marriage is bad, but because the present form of this world is passing away, and God's call on your life deserves an undivided heart.

Sermon Outline

1. Paul speaks as a pastor, not as an apostle (v. 25)

• Paul begins with an essential clarification: "I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy."
• He is not giving a command. He is giving pastoral counsel, to be taken seriously because of who he is and what the Lord has done in him.
• Being married and being single are two morally neutral situations. In either case, one can live faithfully for God. These three weeks in 1 Corinthians 7 have already established this.
• But Paul, single, an apostle, long in ministry, is nevertheless going to make the case for singleness. Three practical reasons, plus one foundational statement that applies to every situation.

2. Marriage brings trials (v. 26-28)

• "Because of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is." Paul is probably speaking less of a local famine than of the nearly universal hardships of living for Christ in the present world, between the resurrection and the return.
• Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. If you marry, you have not sinned. But Paul wants to be clear: "those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that."
• Everyone has trials. But when you marry, those difficulties increase. Jason shares: when he met Loan, he had an idealistic vision of marriage. He thought a wife's love would give him what he lacked to face his life. He received that love, and it was real. His mistake was believing that love would make life easier.
• When you marry someone, you don't marry just that person: you marry their story, their past, and all the effects of that past on them. For every burden your spouse helps you carry, you each bring ten others that you cannot resolve for one another, and that you now share.
• God's priority for his people is not our immediate happiness, nor procreation. When God says in Genesis 2, "It is not good that the man should be alone," he is speaking of Man with a capital M, humanity, not of every individual. God's goal for every man and every woman is that we would live faithfully and wholeheartedly for Christ.

3. Marriage brings a divided mind (v. 32-35)

• "I want you to be free from anxieties." The unmarried person is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. The married person is anxious about the things of the world, how to please his wife.
• Paul assumes that unmarried Christians are concerned with the things of the Lord. That is not always the case, but it is what should be true. If you are unmarried and belong to Christ, your chief concern should be pleasing the Lord, being holy in body and spirit.
• Surprisingly, Paul never says it is wrong for a married man or woman to be concerned about their spouse. On the contrary: that is how it should be, since marriage is meant to picture the relationship between Christ and his church.
• But that relationship, taken seriously as it should be, brings real challenges of focus. Once married, that other person becomes the most important person in the world to you. No one has more power over you than your spouse. Jason illustrates: when someone else criticizes him, he can shrug it off. When Loan says the same thing, it can break him. When she expresses gratitude, he feels like Superman.
• Since she is the most important person to him, he gives a considerable share of his time, energy, and thoughts to making her happy and caring for her. That is how it should be. But it is a fact: his relationship with her places limits on the service he can render to the body of Christ. And that intensifies further once children arrive.
• The goal of verse 35 is clear: "to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord." It is not a sin to expose yourself to these divided loyalties by marrying. But it is something to take into account.

4. We are free, but called to wisdom (v. 36-40)

• "If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong… let him do as he wishes: let them marry, it is no sin." To the Corinthians who had long been hesitating, Paul says in effect: stop hesitating, get married, there's no issue.
• "So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better." Marrying or remaining single is morally neutral: in either case, we are not talking about sin. It is a matter of wisdom and effectiveness.
• If a couple wants to marry, that's fine. But if a single person is able to master their desires and not marry, that is even better, because singleness helps keep an undivided mind, wholly turned toward the Lord, and gives more time and mental availability to devote to the kingdom.
• The other area of wisdom is the concrete weight of the commitment of marriage. "A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives." If the husband dies, she is free to remarry, provided it is to another Christian ("only in the Lord"). But Paul adds: in his judgment, she is happier if she remains as she is.
• Marriage is not a small thing. Marriage is for life. Once you're in it, you're in it until death. The sheer weight of that commitment is enough to show that the church needs people who can remain free to focus wholly on serving the kingdom.
• Jason resists the temptation to say "if you're single, don't get married" or "if you're married, too bad for you." That is not what Paul says. He gives great freedom. No Christian is obligated to be in one situation rather than the other. There are real advantages to both, Paul is mostly speaking here about singleness, but he speaks elsewhere of the advantages of marriage (Ephesians 5).

5. The present form of this world is passing away (v. 29-31)

• "This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away."
• This is the north star of the whole chapter. None of the situations we find ourselves in will last longer than our lifetime. The only thing that will outlast us is God's eternal kingdom, where we will be with Jesus Christ forever.
• If you marry, build your marriage knowing it is temporary and carries a very serious calling. If you remain single, do so knowing your singleness is temporary too, a glorious husband awaits you, Jesus Christ.
• If you are grieving, bear your pain knowing it is temporary and that eternal joy lies ahead of you. If you are happy, rejoice knowing that this joy is nothing compared to the one awaiting you in Christ. If you acquire possessions, think about how to use them with the conviction that a far greater treasure awaits you in Christ. When you engage with the world, remember it will not always be here.
• In every situation, you are called to live with the awareness that this situation is temporary, and that your permanent, eternal situation is infinitely greater, infinitely more solid, infinitely more promising.

Key Takeaways

• Marrying or remaining single is morally neutral. In either case, one can live faithfully for God. It is not a matter of sin, it is a matter of wisdom.
• Paul makes the case for singleness for three practical reasons: marriage brings additional trials, it brings a divided mind, and the commitment of marriage is heavy. Remaining free for Christ is a concrete advantage.
• God's priority for you is not your immediate happiness or your procreation, it is that you live faithfully and wholeheartedly for Christ, right where you are.
• Marriage will not make your Christian life easier. It will bring you real, good things, but also a series of new earthly difficulties.
• "The present form of this world is passing away." Your situation is temporary, whatever it may be. Your true situation, permanent and eternal, is your union with Christ. Serve him faithfully where you are today.

Personal Application

1. Do you live, consciously or not, with the idea that marriage is the major goal of your life? Or with the idea that it must be avoided at all costs? What does Paul say about these two extremes?
2. If you are single, is your chief concern in life really to please the Lord, to be holy in body and spirit? Or is it absorbed by something else?
3. If you are married, how are you serving Christ within the marriage you have been given, without using your status as an excuse to stop serving the body of Christ?
4. Are you seeking your fulfillment in your marriage, your children, your work, your friendships, your freedom? All of these things are good. None of them can bear that weight. Where do you need to relocate your fulfillment in God alone?
5. If "the present form of this world is passing away," what does that concretely change about a decision you have to make this week?

Scripture References

• 1 Corinthians 7:25-40
• 1 Corinthians 7:25 · "I give my judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy"
• 1 Corinthians 7:28 · "those who marry will have worldly troubles"
• 1 Corinthians 7:29-31 · "the present form of this world is passing away"
• 1 Corinthians 7:35 · "secure your undivided devotion to the Lord"
• Genesis 2:18 · "It is not good that the man should be alone"
• Ephesians 5 · marriage as a picture of Christ and the church

Frequently Asked Questions

Does Paul really say it is better not to marry?

Yes, but with important qualifications. Paul does not give a command, he gives pastoral advice (v. 25). He clearly states that marrying is not a sin (v. 28, 36). His position is that marrying and remaining single are two morally neutral situations, but that singleness in practice offers more availability, fewer divided loyalties, and a heart more easily focused on the Lord. "He who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better" (v. 38).

Why does Paul say that "the time is short"?

Paul is not speaking of a calendar countdown to the end of the world. He is speaking of the fact that the present form of this world is passing away (v. 31). We live between Christ's resurrection and his return, and every situation of this life (marriage, singleness, grief, joy, possessions, relationships), is temporary. Only God's eternal kingdom will last. This reality is meant to shape every priority in our lives.

What should I do if I truly desire to marry but I am still single?

Paul does not condemn that desire. He himself says that if someone cannot control their sexual desires, it is better for them to marry (v. 36-37, cf. 1 Cor 7:9). In the meantime, the question to ask yourself is not "how do I change my situation?" but "how do I live faithfully for Christ right where I am today?" Wherever God has placed you is where you are called to live for him, and he gives you everything you need to do it.