Introduction
When a family loses a loved one, you want to pray but you do not know where to begin. This page gathers fifteen prayers addressed to God for those who remain: to say with the family, to read at the service or the wake, or to write. They are simple, with no grand phrases. Choose the prayer that fits the moment and take your time.
Prayers to say with the grieving family
At home, in the living room or at the bedside, the prayer can be said in a low voice, hand in hand. Keep it short, leave silences, and do not try to explain the suffering.
"Lord, we are here before you, tired and wounded. We do not understand everything, but we know you are close to those who suffer. Stay with this family tonight. Give them rest, and the strength to get through the hour ahead."
"Father, the pain is heavy in this house. We lay it before you without explaining it. Take each person by the hand, the oldest as well as the children. Do not leave them alone with their grief. May your presence be more real than the emptiness."
"God of all comfort, we ask for your peace for this family. Not a peace that denies sadness, but one that makes it possible to walk through it. Help each one to cry without shame, to speak without fear, to be silent when needed. Amen."
"Lord, you know tears, you wept at the tomb of a friend. You understand what these loved ones are going through. Surround them, support them in the decisions to be made, and give them faithful friends for the weeks ahead. May they feel that you do not leave them."
"Father, thank you for the life of the one we loved and for all he left in the heart of this family. Now we entrust to you those who remain. May they feel your hand on their shoulders, today and in the months to come."
Prayers for the service, the wake or the funeral
In a gathering, the prayer is addressed to God on behalf of the family. It asks for comfort and support for the living, without addressing the deceased. These texts are read calmly, leaving room for silence.
"Lord, we are gathered to surround this family. We bring our memories, our tears and our questions. Receive all of it. Comfort those who weep, strengthen those who must stand firm, and let us feel that you are in our midst."
"Father, we thank you for the life we honor today. We ask you to bless his loved ones: his spouse, his children, his brothers and sisters, his friends. May this ceremony help them say goodbye, and keep moving forward with your support."
"Eternal God, you are greater than death. We come to you with our limits. Grant this family a hope that does not depend on circumstances. Give them the right words with one another, gentleness in the days of sadness, and the certainty that you do not abandon them."
"Lord, we pray for all who are touched by this loss, including those who dare not show it. Dispel the fear and the guilt that sometimes lurk. Replace the heavy silence with a reassuring presence. May no one remain alone in their pain."
"Father, as we leave this place, we entrust the family to you. May they find in this community hands to carry, ears to listen and meals to comfort. Let them lack nothing. Keep them in your peace."
Comforting prayers to write to a bereaved family
In a card or a message, you can write a prayer or say that you are praying. Avoid phrases that explain death or promise quick relief. These texts are for copying, or for adapting to your relationship with the family.
"I am thinking of you and praying that God will surround you with his presence. May he give you moments of rest, gestures of friendship and the strength to take each step, even the smallest. You are not alone, and I am available whenever you wish."
"Lord, I pray for this family going through a very hard time. Be a peace for them when the nights are long. Give them people who listen without judging. And remind them, when they forget, that they are loved by you."
"Your sorrow is great and I cannot find words equal to it. I can at least pray: that God will comfort you as only he can, that he will protect you on the days when everything seems to be collapsing, and that he will surround you with faithful people."
"I pray for you every day. May the Lord be close to your broken heart, and may he help you carry the weight of the paperwork, the memories and the questions. Do not hesitate to ask me to come, or to pray with you on the phone."
"To the whole family, I wish that God would wrap you in his tenderness in this time of absence. May he help you support one another, talk about the one you love, and gradually find reasons to smile again."
Verses for a prayer of comfort
These passages can be read during the prayer or added to a message. They speak of God's nearness to those who suffer.
Psalm 34:18
"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."
A verse about God's nearness to the brokenhearted. It fits very well at a wake, when the pain is sharp. Read all of Psalm 34.
John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, I give to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful."
A word of peace given by Jesus to his disciples. It reads well in a low voice in front of an anxious family. Read all of John 14.
Matthew 5:4
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."
To say that those who mourn are not forgotten. Use it gently, without turning it into an explanation of suffering. Read all of Matthew 5.
Psalm 23:4
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
The passage about the valley of the shadow of death, often requested by families at funerals. Read all of Psalm 23.
How to pray with a grieving family
Listen before you pray. Let the family tell you what they feel, then pray from what you have heard. A prayer that answers their words is more useful than a ready-made one.
Pray for the living: their sleep, their decisions, their relationships, their faith. Do not go into detail about what is happening to the deceased, it is not for you to explain on their behalf.
Avoid phrases like “he is better off there” or “everything happens for a reason.” They often hurt more than they comfort. A simple word of compassion is better.
Offer to come back. A prayer is not enough: what really helps is your presence in the weeks that follow, when others have gone back to their lives.
Further reading
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you pray for a family that has just lost a loved one?
Ask God to comfort those who remain, to give them strength for the practical arrangements, rest for the nights and faithful people around them. Keep it simple and pray with words the family understands. A shared silence is also part of prayer.
What do you say to God when you have no words left?
You can say exactly what you feel: that you are sad, that you do not understand, that you need him. God does not expect fine phrases. The prayers on this page can also serve as a starting point.
Do we pray for the deceased?
In the evangelical Protestant tradition, we do not pray for the person who has died. We thank God for his life and pray for the comfort of the family and friends, who need support and peace.
Can you pray aloud with a family that does not believe?
Ask them first whether they agree. Many appreciate being prayed for, even without sharing the faith. Stay brief, kind and respectful, without trying to convince anyone at a fragile moment.
to take notes and ask questions.