Your Fellowship Meal Builds the Church More Than You Realize

Introduction

This Sunday, at Église des Nations in the 13^th arrondissement of Paris, Pastor Tuan improvised a sermon he hadn't planned to give. The weekend spiritual retreat was coming up, and he decided to revisit a topic he had already touched on the year before: fellowship. But this time, from an angle you can easily overlook.

The angle is the meal. Not the meal as a nice moment between believers, but the meal as a tool for building the Church. Three readings carried the message: Exodus 24 (Moses and the 70 elders who see God and eat before him), John 12 (Mary pouring expensive perfume on Jesus' feet during a dinner, with Judas grumbling), and 1 Corinthians 11 (Paul rebuking the Corinthians for their abuses around the Lord's Supper).

What connects these three passages? A meal. And behind every meal, one question: does what you share at the table build up the community, or tear it down?

Outline of the Message

1. Fellowship Is Not What You Think

When you hear "fellowship," you might picture an emotional bond, a warm atmosphere during worship, a moment where everyone vibrates together. Pastor Tuan says it plainly: that's not it. Or rather, it falls short of what God wants for you.

Last year, he had already defined fellowship as standing together: through generosity, hospitality, visits. This Sunday, he adds a piece: fellowship also happens at the table.

2. The Four Pillars of Church Life (Acts 2:42)

You may already know the reference verse: "They continued steadfastly in the apostles' teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and prayer."

Two things stand out in this verse. First, the word "steadfastly." It means regular, constant, showing up day after day, not "I come when I feel like it." It's a quality that takes organization and perseverance.

Second, the four pillars, what theology calls the means of grace:

• The apostles' teaching.
• Fellowship.
• The breaking of bread (the Lord's Supper).
• Prayer.

Four means the Lord established to build his Church. And the Holy Spirit, as 2 Corinthians 13 reminds us, is the one who brings this fellowship to life. Without him, everything becomes a formality.

3. The Meal as a Biblical Sign of Communion with God

Go back to Exodus 24. Moses goes up the mountain with Aaron, Nadab, Abihu, and the 70 elders of Israel. The text says they see the God of Israel, with something like a paved work of sapphire stone under his feet, as clear as the sky itself. And here's what's surprising: "God didn't lay his hand on these nobles of the children of Israel. They saw God, and ate and drank."

That's extraordinary. Scripture says elsewhere that no one can see God and live. Yet these men stand before God, eating and drinking. Here, the meal is the visible sign of communion with God and with one another.

Throughout Jewish culture, the meal carries immense weight. You find that same function in French culture: people gather for meals at baptisms, weddings, even funerals. It draws people closer together. Same instinct. France even has a tradition of republican banquets: the meal as a civic act, as the foundation of a community.

4. The Meal Can Also Be Corrupted (John 12 and Judas)

Second reading: Jesus is in Bethany at Lazarus's house, six days before Passover. Mary takes a pound of very expensive pure nard perfume and pours it on Jesus' feet, wiping them with her hair. The whole house fills with the fragrance.

Judas grumbles: "Why wasn't this perfume sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?" John's text notes it wasn't because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief who kept the money bag.

The lesson is blunt: sitting at the same table doesn't automatically create fellowship. Judas is there. He shares the meal. But his heart isn't in the celebration. He criticizes. He fakes it. A meal can be the setting for a beautiful act of love (Mary), and at the same time the setting for harsh words and hypocrisy (Judas). Everything depends on what each person brings to it.

5. The Lord's Supper Was Born in the Middle of a Real Meal

This is a detail you easily forget. The Lord's Supper wasn't instituted in a chapel, in some separate moment of quiet reflection. It happened during the Jewish Passover meal, with the Twelve.

What was this Jewish Passover? A meal with unleavened bread, lamb (sacrificed at the temple), bitter herbs, and four cups of wine. Near the start of the meal, psalms were sung. At the end, they sang the Hallel Psalms, from 113 to 118. These are the very psalms Jesus sang with his disciples before going out to the Mount of Olives. Not by accident: Psalm 113 praises the God who lifts up the poor, Psalm 114 recounts the exodus from Egypt, and Psalm 118 (which Cathy read at the start of the service) speaks of the salvation of the LORD.

The Jewish Passover wasn't only a commemoration of the exodus from Egypt. It was also a kind of reenactment: each person was to eat this meal as though they themselves had come out of Egypt. And by Jesus' time, it had also become an expectation: people believed Elijah would come that very night to announce the Messiah. Hence the atmosphere of watchfulness, and Jesus' words: "Watch and pray, that you don't enter into temptation."

What Jesus changes that night is the meaning. This bread is no longer the memory of the exodus from Egypt: it is his body. This cup (likely the third, the cup of blessing) is no longer the blood of the old covenant: it is the blood of the new covenant. And all of this happens in the middle of a meal.

6. Why the Church Separated the Supper from the Meal: The Corinth Crisis

The early Church kept doing what Jesus had done: the Lord's Supper took place during a shared meal, either Saturday evening or Sunday evening. These meals were called love feasts (agape meals). The fellowship meal and the Supper were one and the same.

So why don't we do this anymore today? Because of Corinth. Read 1 Corinthians 11: Paul is harsh. "I don't praise you, since your meetings do more harm than good." There are divisions. Everyone eats their own meal off in a corner. Some go hungry, others get drunk. And worst of all, they humiliate those who have nothing.

Little by little, because of these abuses, the Church separated the Supper from the fellowship meal. But the idea of agape remained central. A church meal isn't there just to "get to know each other better." It exists to promote solidarity, unity, and brotherhood. And on the flip side: to never humiliate those who are struggling. That's the stake Paul is defending, and it's still yours today.

7. The Real Danger: The Meal Becomes Worldly

Pastor Tuan shares a personal story. Once, in a community, he saw a group of men slip away at the end of a meal to go drink whiskey together. He thought: "I'm not part of that." The fellowship meal had turned worldly.

The danger isn't just alcohol or partying. The real danger is words. The meal can become a place for criticism, for negatively picking apart the brother or sister sitting there, for looking pious on the surface while, in your heart (or on your phone), you judge, compare, tear down.

Pastor Tuan recalls Jesus' words: "You point a finger at the other person, but four fingers point back at you." Our churches aren't immune to this kind of slip, because it's simply human nature. Don't ignore it, don't pretend it isn't there. Become aware of it.

8. The Meal as a Tool for Building the Church

So how does a meal build the Church? Pastor Tuan offers several practical, and by his own admission, slightly "unusual" ideas.

• Quiet mutual support. The meal should let everyone contribute according to what they can, without shaming those who can't afford to host at home.
• Get to know each other deeply. Don't just sit next to your usual neighbor. Weave in a testimony, an interview, someone sharing about their work. The Christian life isn't only praying and reading the Bible together; it's also knowing the other person in the fullness of their life.
• Widen your view to the worldwide Church. A video from a missionary brother, news from someone traveling, a connection with a sister church in Cambodia, Taiwan, or elsewhere. The meal can remind you that the Church isn't limited to the room you're sitting in.
• Do things together. Workshops, small-group Bible reading, writing prayers together, everyone offering a song. Or more simply: setting the table, small repairs, upkeep. It's not "spiritual" in the narrow sense, but it builds up a body.

Watch out for a real danger: in many churches, it's always the same small core group who sweeps the room, prepares the meal, and cleans up. Everyone else eats and leaves. That works for a while, but eventually it wears thin. Agape fellowship calls for everyone's participation.

9. Fellowship Is Something You Learn

Pastor Tuan closes on a note that sums it all up. Loving another person, seeing something positive and good in them, doesn't come naturally. It's something you learn. It takes getting to know yourself and choosing not to treat others as rivals or competitors.

And it always comes back to what matters most: the Good Shepherd loves us, and he has made us children of God. You haven't reached the end of the journey yet, but you're on the way. And on that road, you learn to rub shoulders with others in love.

Key Takeaways

1. Fellowship isn't a shared feeling during worship. It's concrete solidarity, made of steadfastness, shared meals, and mutual service.
2. The meal is a means of grace given by God. Acts 2:42 places it right alongside teaching, fellowship, and prayer. Don't underestimate it.
3. Sitting at the table together isn't enough. Judas sat at the table with Jesus. What matters is what your heart and your words bring to the meal.
4. A fellowship meal doesn't exist just to "get to know each other better." It exists to build unity and solidarity, and above all, to never humiliate those who have nothing to bring.
5. Doing things together builds a church. Praying together, singing together, but also tidying up, decorating, repairing, helping one another. It's by acting side by side that the body of Christ is woven together.

Personal Application

Take a moment before God and ask yourself these questions honestly:

1. Am I steadfast in my community, or do I only show up when I feel like it? What is God asking me to change about my commitment?
2. At the last church meal I attended, what words did I bring? Were they encouraging, or did I criticize, judge, compare?
3. Do I always sit next to the same people? What would happen if, next time, I sat next to someone I know less well?
4. Is it always the same small group preparing, serving, and cleaning up in my community? How can I practically lighten the load for those who carry it all?
5. Is there someone in my church I could invite to my table? How can I do it in a way that doesn't leave them feeling indebted or embarrassed?

Scriptures Cited

• Exodus 24:9-11 · Moses, Aaron, and the 70 elders see God, then eat and drink before him.
• John 12:1-8 · Mary pours nard perfume on Jesus' feet; Judas's indignation.
• 1 Corinthians 11:17-22 · Paul denounces the Corinthians' abuses around the Lord's Supper.
• Acts 2:42 · The four pillars of the early Church's life.
• 2 Corinthians 13:13 · The communion of the Holy Spirit that brings fellowship to life.
• 1 Corinthians 5:7-8 · Christ our Passover; let us keep the feast.
• Psalms 113-118 · The Hallel Psalms, sung by Jesus at the last Passover.
• Matthew 7:3-5 · The speck and the beam, or the art of not judging others at the table.

FAQ

Should the Lord's Supper be taken with unleavened bread, like the Jewish Passover?

Pastor Tuan admits taking a position that runs against many others: he doesn't believe the Lord's Supper needs to be made with unleavened bread. He builds on 1 Corinthians 5: "Christ, our Passover, has been sacrificed in our place. Therefore let's keep the feast, not with old yeast..." The "unleavened bread" in this passage isn't talking about the bread on the table, but about removing from the community what is improper. In his view, real bread (with yeast) would be a clearer and more living sign of Jesus, the bread of God. He acknowledges opinions differ on this, and that tradition is hard to change.

Why isn't the Lord's Supper still held in the middle of a real meal today?

Historically, because of abuses in the church at Corinth. Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 11 believers who, at the shared meal, each ate their own food: some went hungry, others got drunk, and worst of all, the poorest were humiliated. To prevent these problems, the Church gradually separated the Supper from the fellowship meal (the "love feasts" or agape meals). But biblically, the meal and the Supper remain deeply connected: both aim to build up the community.

How can we keep a church meal from becoming worldly or a breeding ground for criticism?

Three concrete ideas from the message. First, be honest about your own human nature: the tendency to criticize and compare is real, don't pretend it isn't there. Second, steer conversation toward building others up: sharing a testimony, taking interest in someone's work, rejoicing over good news. Finally, structure the meal as a moment of agape: interviews, presentations, exchanges that build up the whole group, not just conversations in a small circle with your usual neighbor.