Missionary's Kid Walked Away From Jesus, Then Came Back

Introduction

Adrien Ruin is 21 years old. He was born into a missionary family, gave his life to Jesus at age 8, and yet a few years later he was declaring in his heart: "I'm not a Christian anymore." Between shame about his faith, isolation, Covid-related depression, his parents' separation, and deep anger toward his father, Adrien drifted away from God for years. His testimony, shared on the day of his baptism, tells how God came after him, broke his chains, and brought him back.

This isn't a "model believer" story about someone who never doubted. It's the raw testimony of a young man who walked through darkness and watched God turn his heart of stone into a heart of flesh. If you recognize yourself in any part of his journey, you'll see that God can meet you right where you are today, too.

Article Outline

1. A Christian Childhood, a Faith That Should Have Held

Adrien was born into a family unlike most. His parents came from the United Kingdom to serve as pastor and youth leader in Christian communities. He grew up as a missionary kid, surrounded by the gospel, going to church, praying before every meal. Church life shaped how his family organized everything.

At age 8, in the very same building where he later shared his testimony, he gave his life to Jesus. In his own words: "It was sincere and deep. I told my family, and my mom still remembers it." Everything seemed set for him to grow up in the faith.

2. When Shame Takes the Place of Faith

In middle school, everything shifted. Adrien struggled to own what his parents did for a living. While his classmates had parents with "a normal job," he constantly had to explain what a missionary even was. That discomfort settled in and became shame: shame about his parents' work, shame about his faith, shame about who he was.

He remembers one specific moment: a friend spots the Bible app on his phone. The look on the friend's face is enough. Adrien deletes the app. Bit by bit, he gets into the habit of isolating himself. His life feels incompatible with everyone else's. That's when he stopped letting God grow in him. He let go of his faith step by step as he withdrew.

3. The Accuser, Bullying, and the Downward Spiral

Adrien names the enemy plainly: the devil, "also called the accuser." This accuser had always tried to convince him he was different from everyone else, just to isolate him further. He lost his friends twice by switching schools. In ninth grade, he was bullied. It was mentally brutal.

He didn't know how to make friends. Christian camps, weekends at Flambeau or Saint-Luc, became an "escape plan," a way to be around people despite his loneliness, more than a place of real faith.

4. Covid, TikTok, and a Dark Depression

High school arrived, and it was rough. Then came Covid, which only deepened the isolation. That period was mentally crushing. Adrien spent all his time on TikTok and social media. He went through a season of depression where everything that drew him in was dark: dark clothes, dark content, music that steered his thoughts toward the bad.

He no longer wanted to live. The accuser, he says, "almost got him for good," constantly telling him he wasn't good, wasn't worth anything on this earth. It was during this time that Adrien declared inwardly: "The Christian life isn't for me. I refuse to hear about God." He kept going to church out of obedience to his parents, but his heart was somewhere else entirely.

5. His Parents' Separation and the Loss of a Pillar

In September 2021, his parents separated. Adrien never saw it coming. He'd been naive about what his family was going through. The shock was brutal. Since it's rare for missionary couples to end in divorce, the family had to keep it secret for over a year.

That's when he discovered his father was a sinner, human, not without fault, even as a missionary. He wasn't ready for his father's absence. He had to learn things on his own that he'd have loved to learn from him, like taking care of the house. And little by little, anger toward his father crept in.

6. November 2023: The Weekend the Chains Broke

In November 2023, Adrien went to a Christian youth weekend. He went mainly because he was excited to see Quentin speak, someone he'd known when he was younger. He was so distant and numb toward God that he expected nothing spiritual to happen at all.

That weekend, Quentin preached on repentance and sin. Adrien was deeply shaken. He went to talk to Quentin. He opened up about his addictions, his family situation, his anger toward his father. After that conversation, chains started to break. For the first time in years, he wanted to come back to God.

7. "Seek and You Will Find": Becoming an Active Participant in His Own Faith

Some time later, Adrien felt a conviction from the Holy Spirit: change churches. Not because of the church itself, but because his behavior there had become pure autopilot. He tried to open up in his old church, tried to seek God, and it didn't work. So he followed that conviction. He landed at Vertical.

That's the turning point where everything changed. He became an active participant in his faith. He held onto the promise of Matthew 7:7-8: "Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives. He who seeks finds. To him who knocks it will be opened." And God opened the door.

8. God Awakens Desires He No Longer Had

Convinced he needed to change what music he listened to, Adrien started listening to Christian music. He watched The Chosen, even though he'd sworn "not for anything in the world" would he ever watch that show about Jesus. And things about God started clicking. God grew in him a desire to discover Him, to know who Jesus really is: a desire he never thought he'd have again.

He started praying, he who never used to pray. And God answered in ways he couldn't have imagined. He even wrote down a few examples on a sheet of paper a few months ago: he wanted to work at a specific company, he prayed, and they offered him a position. He prayed, and God freed him from an emotional block. He started feeling emotions again. God gave him peace, joy, and put a smile back on his face.

9. July 3, 2025: Baptism and a New Identity

In June, Adrien felt a deep conviction that he would be baptized sometime that year. And that's exactly what happened. On July 3, 2025, he decided to follow Jesus with everything in him and to be sure it was real. Alongside Quentin, he declared that God had adopted him as a son, like a Father who will never fail. That Jesus is his Savior and Lord, that He died on the cross so his sins could be forgiven, and that He rose again.

He is fully assured that God has completely forgiven his wrongs, including the years he spent walking away from Him.

10. Fighting Sin With a Faithful God

God taught him to repent and fight sin, especially pornography, which had taken root in him long ago. It's a battle he's handed over to God. He came to understand that Jesus helps him, saves him, and forgives him. One verse helped him enormously, 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it."

Since his conversion, God has transformed his character. Adrien, who had gone numb to any feeling, has watched God turn his heart of stone into a heart of flesh, just as Ezekiel 36:26 promises. He was even able to walk through the loss of both his grandparents within days of each other, facing that trial with Christ by his side. As he puts it: "It changes everything."

Key Takeaways

• Growing up in a Christian family never replaces a personal encounter with Jesus. Adrien said yes at age 8, but he had to say yes again at 21, wide awake and fully aware.
• Shame about your faith is one of the accuser's most powerful weapons. It pushes you to isolate, to hide your Bible, to erase your spiritual life so you'll blend in with everyone else.
• God never tires of waiting. After years of drifting, addictions, depression, and anger, a single sermon on repentance was enough to break the chains.
• Being an active participant in your faith doesn't mean waiting for God to move on your behalf. Seek, knock, pray, change your environment when needed: God opens the door to the one who knocks.
• The battle continues after conversion. Adrien still fights against sin, but he's no longer alone: God is faithful and always prepares a way out.

Personal Application

• Like Adrien as a child, did you once say yes to Jesus but have never renewed that commitment as an adult? What's stopping you from doing that today?
• Is there shame about your faith that makes you hide who you are in front of your friends, coworkers, or family? What "app deletion" have you already done in your own spiritual life?
• Which voice of the accuser do you keep listening to on repeat: "you're not good enough," "you're not useful," "you're different from everyone else"? What does God say instead?
• Is there anger you haven't laid down in your heart, toward a parent, a friend, someone at church? Are you willing to talk about it with someone you trust, the way Adrien did with Quentin?
• Are you an active participant in your faith, or are you waiting for God to do everything? What's the next thing to ask for, seek, or knock on today?

Verses Cited

• Matthew 7:7-8 (WEB) - "Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you."
• 1 Corinthians 10:13 (WEB) - "God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able."
• Ezekiel 36:26 (WEB) - "I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh."

FAQ

Can you really lose your faith after growing up in a Christian family?

Adrien's testimony shows the answer is yes. Growing up in a Christian home is an immense grace, but it's never a guarantee. Every person has to make the personal choice, at some point, to follow Jesus. Adrien made that choice at 8, walked away from it as a teenager, and fully reclaimed it at 21, on the day of his baptism.

Why does Adrien talk about "the accuser"?

It's one of the Bible's names for the devil, the one who accuses and isolates. Adrien uses it because he identified a concrete voice during his years away: a voice that kept telling him he was different, not good, not useful, in order to push him further into isolation. Recognizing where those thoughts come from is already the first step in fighting them.

How do I know if God is asking me to change churches, like Adrien did?

Adrien is careful to say it wasn't because of his old church, but because his behavior there had become pure autopilot, keeping him from truly meeting God. If you recognize yourself in this, talk to a spiritual leader you trust, pray for a clear conviction, and don't make that decision alone, in a rush, or out of hurt.