The Assurance of His Presence in the Face of Loneliness

You may be living today in a season where uncertainty weighs heavy. The world is shaking, the news is unsettling, and sometimes your own life carries wounds that no one else can see. In his message "The Assurance of His Presence," Daniel Decary shares a text that recently encouraged him: "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20). This promise of Jesus answers the two emotions that tend to rise the most in troubled times: loneliness and fear.

This article follows the thread of his sermon at La Chapelle. You will find here a pastoral outline, a few questions to apply the text to your own life, the verses cited, and an FAQ to go further.

Message Outline

1. Two emotions that surface in perilous times

We are living in perilous times, full of uncertainty and the unknown. On the world stage as in our personal lives, a lot is happening that can trouble us. In seasons like these, Daniel Decary identifies two emotions that come up in almost everyone. The first is loneliness: you are left alone with all your thoughts, all your scenarios, and a part of you closes in on itself. The second is dread, fear, in the face of everything that is uncertain.

In the face of these two emotions, there is one solid answer: the promise of Jesus' presence. "And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Jesus promised us we would never be alone. And it is this presence that comes to fill our loneliness and to reassure us in the face of the unknown.

2. Loneliness: a pain, not just a state

Loneliness is not simply "being alone." It is feeling alone and suffering because of it. There is a note of pain to it, a deep feeling that weighs on you. And there is a big difference between choosing a moment of solitude (heading to the cabin with four buddies to unwind) and enduring loneliness.

Enduring loneliness is living through rejection, abandonment, the emptiness of grief when a loved one is no longer there. It is the empty nest after the children have left. It is a breakup, a divorce you never wanted. It is the newcomer who has left everything behind (family, country, culture) to start a new life and finds himself alone. It is hardship: we do not like suffering, and the human reflex is to pull away from those who are suffering. Daniel points to a striking figure: at the start of the pandemic, 90 percent of the elderly people who died in care homes had never had a single visit.

You can even feel lonely in the middle of a crowd. Victor Hugo wrote that "all of hell is contained in this one word: loneliness." Henry David Thoreau spoke of a city as "a place where hundreds of people are lonely together." That is true in our society, and sometimes even in the church and in our own families, exactly the places where we should be finding a sense of belonging.

3. An emotion God gave you to draw you to himself

From the very beginning of creation, God said it is not good for man to be alone. Human beings were created for relationship. Loneliness, then, is an emotional capacity God gave you, just like all your other emotions. And did you know that God is emotional? There are roughly 600 verses that refer to his anger. Jesus himself lived out his emotions fully: joy, sorrow, anger, compassion, tears. "Do not accept a gospel that tells you that you have no right to your emotions, because that is not the gospel Jesus taught us."

So what is the purpose of this pain of being alone? It alerts you: something is missing. It pushes you to enter into relationship with others, just as God created Eve after noticing Adam's loneliness. But above all, it pushes you into communion with God. In John 16:32, Jesus himself says, "You will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me."

The psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, a survivor of the concentration camps, said that the only solution to the existential depression of human beings (coming into the world alone, dying alone) is realizing that God wanted your birth and will be there to welcome you at your death. You are never alone.

4. From relationship to communion with God

Daniel shares his own story. At sixteen, he swore out loud that no one would ever have power over his life again. Seven years later, crushed by an existential loneliness, he bent his knee: "God, if you exist, do something in my life." The pain of loneliness pushed him toward God.

But God does not just call you into a relationship, he calls you into communion with him. The psalmist writes, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God" (Psalm 42:1-2). A direct question: when was the last time you took the time to welcome that thirst? We keep distracting ourselves with all kinds of noise instead of stopping to know God.

5. His presence calms your fears

His presence also comes to confront your fears, because "perfect love drives out fear" (1 John 4:18). Uncertainty produces fear, that is human. And if you are good at worrying, understand that you have a genuine gift of faith, the problem is simply that your focus is on the negative. Put your faith on the positive instead.

We worry because we are chasing the illusion of control. At 4 a.m., you control nothing, you are living in your imagination. Your brain manufactures scenarios that Hollywood never dreamed up. Daniel shares his little prayer: "Lord Jesus, I need to sleep. You do not sleep. I am handing you the file, you work on it, I am going to sleep, and tomorrow morning we will catch up." How many times has he woken up the next day rested, amazed at how much he had worried over so little.

Fear is not bad in itself. Jesus himself was seized with anguish in Gethsemane. You want your children to be afraid of running into the middle of the street or talking to strangers: fear protects. But fear should lead you to God, just as it led Jesus to the Father.

6. He holds your hand, he will not let go

Psalm 23:4 tells you, "Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." Isaiah 41 adds, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).

For a long time, Daniel thought it was up to him to hold God's hand. Then he understood: when you walk with a two-year-old, it is not the child who holds your hand, it is you who holds theirs. God holds you. He will not let go, even when you struggle. Hebrews 13:5: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Plenty of people may have abandoned you. He will not.

And Romans 8:15 reminds you that you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but a spirit of adoption by which you cry out, "Abba, Father!" For some, this is a process, because a relationship with an earthly father was difficult. But God is a Father who loves, who protects, who takes you in his arms and tells you, "I am with you."

Key Takeaways

• Loneliness and fear are two normal emotions in perilous times; they are not enemies, they are alerts.
• Loneliness alerts you that something is missing: relationship, and more deeply, communion with God.
• Jesus promised his presence every day until the end of the age. You are never alone.
• When worry sets in, hand the file over to God and go to sleep: he does not sleep.
• God holds your hand like a father holds a two-year-old's hand: he will not let go.

Personal Application

1. What loneliness are you carrying right now: chosen or endured? Are you ready to bring it to Jesus instead of running from it?
2. Around you, at church, in your neighborhood, who is lonely without you even realizing it? What can you do this week: a text, a hello, a visit?
3. When you worry at 4 a.m., what are you really trying to control? Can you hand that file over to Jesus tonight?
4. Are you living a simple relationship with God, or a real communion? When was the last time you took a quiet moment, free of distraction, to listen to him?
5. Is there a past fear or rejection keeping you from daring to try relationship again? Can you ask God to help you try once more?

Verses Cited

• Matthew 28:20 - "I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
• John 16:32 - "I am not alone, for my Father is with me."
• Psalm 42:1-2 - The deer that pants for streams of water.
• 1 John 4:18 - "Perfect love drives out fear."
• Psalm 23:4 - "You are with me."
• Isaiah 41:10 - "Do not fear, for I am with you."
• Hebrews 13:5 - "Never will I leave you."
• Romans 8:15 - The spirit of adoption that cries "Abba, Father."
• 2 Timothy 4:16 - Paul abandoned at his first defense.
• 1 John 1:9 - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us."

FAQ

Is loneliness a sin or a spiritual weakness?

No. Loneliness is an emotion God gave you. In fact, it was God himself who said at creation that it is not good for man to be alone. The feeling of loneliness is an alert: it signals a real need for relationship with others and, more deeply, for communion with God.

What should I do when I feel lonely in the church?

Daniel encourages several concrete steps. First, dare to try again: keep reaching out to build relationships, with realistic expectations and wisdom. Then, join a small group where you can really get to know people. Take the first step (a text, an email, a call), even if you would rather be the one contacted. And pray: "Lord, is there someone around me who is lonely and to whom I could reach out?"

What should I do with the worries that come back at night?

Recognize that worry is trying to give you the illusion of control over imagined situations. Hand the file over to Jesus: "You do not sleep, work on this situation; I am going to sleep, we will catch up tomorrow." This simple prayer, repeated, brings back your peace, because it shifts your security away from your own scenarios and onto the presence of God.