Wide, Long, High, Deep: The Love of Christ

Introduction

You know that prayer is part of the Christian life. You've sung about it, heard about it, read about it in books. And yet how many times have you caught yourself thinking, "I really should pray," right before a notification on your phone pulled your mind somewhere else? How many times have you sat in silence because you didn't know how to begin?

At the end of Ephesians 3, Paul shows you how to pray. He also shows you what to pray for: that Christ would dwell in your heart, and that you would grasp the width, length, height, and depth of his love. This passage has carried me for years. My prayer this week is that it helps and blesses you as much as it has blessed me.

Message Outline

1. Praying with confidence because God has already given everything (vv. 12-13)

• "In whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him."
• God doesn't want you discouraged. He wants you to draw near, even with chains on your wrists like Paul.
• Every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places is already yours in Jesus (Ephesians 1:3). That's where prayer starts.
• The Holy Spirit helps you draw near, and Jesus intercedes for you at the Father's right hand: there has never been a greater opportunity than this.

2. Kneeling before the Father and being strengthened by the Spirit (vv. 14-16)

• "I bow my knees to the Father": in that day, people prayed standing, hands raised, or prostrate. Kneeling wasn't common. It's a posture of humility and reverence.
• "Father" isn't a vague title. It's a covenant name, a relational name, like "I AM" was for Israel at the burning bush.
• If your earthly father hurt you, hear this: God is a better father than the one you knew. And if you had a good father, God is even better still.
• Paul asks that you be "strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner man": without that strength, your flesh is like the disciples at Gethsemane, asleep when they should have been praying.

3. Grasping the four dimensions of Christ's love (vv. 17-19)

• "That Christ may dwell in your heart through faith": not a visit, a permanent home.
• Rooted and grounded in love, you can grasp "the breadth and length and height and depth" of Christ's love.
• New Testament love isn't a feeling: it's courageous, sacrificial action. It's Jesus who, right before his cross, gets up, ties a towel around himself, and washes his disciples' feet, even Judas, who is about to betray him.
• It's also the mother who gets up at 3 a.m. because her child is crying. It's not the emotion that matters; it's that she gets up.
• This love surpasses knowledge. Paul isn't praying only that you'd study it or feel it once: he's praying that the Spirit would reveal it inside you, so that you'd be "filled with all the fullness of God."

4. Believing that God does infinitely more than your prayers (vv. 20-21)

• "Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us."
• You don't need to find the right words for God to answer. He isn't a judge grading your prayer "18/20" or "7/10." He's a father leaning in toward his babbling child.
• An earthly father knows how to say "no, your mother already made dinner tonight" when his kids beg for a chocolate croissant thirty minutes before the meal. Your heavenly Father, too, knows how to do better than what you ask.
• Sometimes he answers differently than you expected. That doesn't mean he isn't listening: it means he loves you enough to do what's truly good for you.

Key Takeaways

• Prayer is part of the Christian life, but it's often easier to talk about than to practice. God knows that, and he invites you anyway.
• "Father" is a covenant name. God gives you the same intimacy he gave Israel when he revealed himself as "I AM."
• The Holy Spirit doesn't just add you a feeling: he strengthens you in your inner being, right where you're overwhelmed by time, your body, your finances, your fatigue.
• Christ's love is measured in four dimensions because it fits into none of them. You can't see it, the same way you can't see the love of a husband kissing his wife with his eyes closed. Yet it's completely real.
• Your Father does more than you ask or think. Your imperfect prayer doesn't hold back his hand; your trust releases it.

Personal Application

1. When did you last pray the Lord's Prayer, not as a poem, but with your heart?
2. What thoughts about your earthly father are blocking your relationship with your heavenly Father today? Can you name them and hand them over to God?
3. What are the "dead moments" in your day (the subway, a walk, standing in line), that you could turn into short prayers like "God, save me" or "thank you"?
4. What courageous, sacrificial act of love is Jesus asking of you this week, toward someone who won't return the favor?
5. Are you willing to let God answer your prayer differently, trusting that he does infinitely more than you can imagine?

Scriptures Cited

• Ephesians 3:12-21 (WEB)
• Ephesians 1:3 (WEB)
• Exodus 3:13-15 · Burning bush, "I AM" (WEB)
• Matthew 6:9-13 · The Lord's Prayer (WEB)
• John 13:1-17 · Jesus washes the disciples' feet (WEB)
• Matthew 26:36-46 · Gethsemane (WEB)

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is it so hard to pray when we know how important it is?

Because prayer engages both your spirit and your flesh, and your flesh is weak, just like the disciples' at Gethsemane. Paul knows that, it's exactly why he asks the Father to strengthen you through the Spirit in your inner being. You don't need to wait until you "feel like it": start with three words ("God, save me"), or just one: "thank you." That's already a real prayer.

What does it really mean to call God "Father"?

It's a relational name, the way "I AM" (Yahweh) was for Israel within the covenant. Jesus gives you the right to enter that same intimacy. Your earthly father may have let you down or blessed you: God is better either way. He isn't grading the literary quality of your prayers, he's watching his babbling child, and he's giving you his full attention.

How do you grasp the width, length, height, and depth of Christ's love?

Not just by studying it, and not just by feeling it. Paul is praying for a spiritual understanding that the Spirit plants in your heart. You start by watching Jesus get up during his last meal, wrap a towel around himself, and wash the feet of the very ones who are about to abandon him, Judas included. This love is courageous, sacrificial action. You grasp it by letting it dwell in you, then living it out toward others.