God Stays Faithful, Even in Singleness

Introduction

Pastor René OUANDJI has spoken a lot about family, about dads, moms, kids, married couples. This morning, he chose to speak to single people, because the Lord has something for them too. And his starting point fits in one sentence: “God stays faithful, even in singleness.”

The passage that carries the whole message is a very well-known one: the story of Ruth and Naomi, her mother-in-law. A woman from Moab, widowed, who could have stayed home after her mother-in-law returned to Israel. She made a different choice. And through that choice, God wrote a story that reaches all the way to the ancestry of Jesus Christ.

This morning, if you're single, but also if you're waiting on any kind of promise from the Lord, this message is for you. The righteous will live by faith (Hebrews 11:6). In the area of singleness, you need, more than ever, to walk by faith.

Outline of the Message

1. The Story of Ruth and Naomi: Four Chapters, One Thread of God

• The pastor reads Ruth 1:16-17: “Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May Yahweh do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.” A wonderful declaration, a declaration of faith.
• The context: a famine in Israel pushes Elimelech and Naomi to leave Bethlehem for the land of Moab. Their two sons marry two Moabite women there, Orpah and Ruth. Then both sons die. The famine ends in Israel, Naomi hears the news and decides to go back.
• She releases her two daughters-in-law: “Go back home, I'm too old to have more sons.” Orpah hesitates and ends up staying in Moab. Ruth makes the great choice of faith and follows Naomi.
• In chapter 2, Ruth goes out to work in a field to have something to eat. That field belongs to Boaz, a relative of Naomi, a man of good character who had heard about Ruth's character and even invites her to eat.
• In chapter 3, on Naomi's advice, Ruth makes herself beautiful and lies down at Boaz's feet during the night. Nothing improper about it, it's a moment where they really get to know each other. Boaz then mentions that he has a right of redemption over Elimelech's land, but that another relative, closer than him, holds that right first. Doubt sets in.
• In chapter 4, Boaz goes to see that other relative. He explains: “You can redeem the land, but you'll also have to take Ruth.” The relative gives up his claim. Boaz redeems the field and marries Ruth.
• The ending is bigger than the story itself: Ruth and Boaz will have Obed, who will be the father of Jesse, who will be the father of David. And David is part of the ancestry of the Lord Jesus Christ. What a wonderful story.

2. God Rules Over Circumstances, Despite Your Failures

• Look at how God turned an entire family and an entire country upside down to bring Ruth to Boaz: he allows a famine in Israel, he moves Naomi and her husband to Moab, he allows both her sons to die, he ends the famine, he brings Naomi back to Israel, he leads Ruth to glean in Boaz's field, he allows the first relative to give up his right of redemption.
• Ruth may not even have been born yet when God started writing this story. God works little by little, in a family, in a country, in a custom. Nothing that happens to you is a matter of chance if you belong to God.
• Daniel 2:21 confirms it: “He changes the times and the seasons; he removes kings, and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise, and knowledge to those who have understanding.” God can put the right people around you, reveal his wisdom to you, help you make the right choices.
• The pastor shares a piece of his own story. He and his wife Nadine knew each other since middle school, in Cameroon: 13-14 years old, nothing serious at that age, just birthdays. At 14, her parents sent her to France. Ten years pass. He's still studying, goes to Morocco. Nothing between them, no particular relationship, everything could have gone differently, he could have married a Moroccan woman, she could have married someone here. And yet, ten years later, she's the one who comes to pick him up at the airport. It wasn't that complicated.
• So, my single brother and sister, lift up your eyes. Maybe it's been one year, two years, three years that you've been waiting on God's will, God's blessing. God is able to change the course of the world for you. Don't look at your age. Don't look at the time passing. Don't look at the circumstances. Don't look at your failures. You have a very, very great God.
• Failures are part of life's trials. James 1:2-4 says that the testing of your faith produces perseverance, and perseverance must finish its work. Don't treat your failures as condemnations. Treat them as guardrails the Lord placed in your life to protect you and to prepare for you the one who will be your beloved.

3. Make the Right Choices and Stay Faithful

• Orpah and Ruth faced the same choice. One stays in Moab. The other says: “Your God will be my God.” The choices you make determine your future. Ruth enters the ancestry of Jesus through a declaration of faith.
• Make the right choices of friends too. The Bible tells you: “Evil companionships corrupt good morals” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Know who you sit with, who you go out with, who you listen to. A friend who discourages you or pushes you toward the ways of the world will weigh on your life. Even inside God's house, watch who you listen to, look for someone full of wisdom.
• Beware of “God told me it's you.” God is consistent. If he's really preparing a sister or brother for you, he's preparing both sides. He isn't going to drop on you out of nowhere someone who wakes up one morning saying, “God told me I'm going to marry you.” God can give signs (as with Rebekah and Isaac, in Genesis 24), but you can also be led by the flesh because you've been waiting on the blessing for a long time. Stay measured. If a brother or sister comes and tells you that and it doesn't bring peace, get out of there. God brings peace instead, like Jesus when he showed up amid the disciples' turmoil: “Peace be with you.”
• The pastor tells the story of a young woman who bought her wedding dress three months in advance, booked the venue, the caterer, sent out the invitations, took out loans. With no groom named on the invitation. She kept saying, “It's by the grace of God.” But you don't marry the grace of God, you marry a man by the grace of God. August 15th came. No husband. Disaster. That's what happens when you let yourself be led by the flesh instead of the Spirit.
• Stay faithful to God. Stay faithful in serving him. It's not only single people who should serve, but Paul highlights it because the single person temporarily has a bit more availability (1 Corinthians 7). Serve God with all your heart, not to squeeze out a blessing, but to offer your body, to offer your life as a sweet-smelling fragrance.
• Hebrews 10:35-36 encourages you: “Therefore don't throw away your boldness, which has a great reward. For you need endurance so that, having done the will of God, you may receive the promise.” God will bless your consecration. He sees your heart. He sees what you give him. He will bless you.

4. You Have to Take Initiative : Chase Away Shyness

• There's too much shyness in God's house. Ruth doesn't wait for Naomi to tell her “go to work”, she goes out and gleans. She's not afraid, either, to go lie down at Boaz's feet on her mother-in-law's advice. Boaz, for his part, doesn't stay passive when he learns that another relative has a prior right of redemption, he goes to see him, he acts.
• The Bible says: “God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). God will give you the strength to get up and go toward the other person. Love frees you from fear: you won't go around wondering “what will he or she think of me?” but you'll go in peace. And wisdom: God will give you the right words.
• My single brother, if you want to get to know a sister, you can go say hello to her, give her a big smile. She's not going to eat you alive. She's not going to spit on you. She's not going to throw stones at you. A simple “Hello, sister, how was your week?”, that's already the first step.
• The pastor risks a confession: he was very shy too. And he shares a bit of couple's honesty: back then, he wasn't the one who took the most initiative. It was actually Nadine who called his brother to check in on him, who bought him a coat, a cell phone, when he wasn't working yet. He didn't think anything of it at the time. It gets a smile, but it serves the point: when you're a child of God, you act, you walk by faith, without losing who you are.
• It's like when you're looking for a job. You pray, you fast, good. But you also put together your résumé, you take the time, you highlight your strengths, you look at examples online. God can pick up the phone and call a big-shot boss for you, he's able to do that. But he also calls you to act. Walking by the Spirit doesn't mean staying still.

5. Hold On Through Trials and Doubt

• In chapter 3 of Ruth, when the first relative held the prior right of redemption, doubt could have crept in. Naomi wanted what was good for her daughter-in-law. Ruth could sense that something was at stake. And the plan as she saw it might not have worked out.
• You too may run into these doubts. Maybe someone introduced you to a young man or young woman who checked 95% of your boxes. You told yourself: “Maybe this is God's will.” And then it fell apart. You fall into doubt.
• If you know you're in God's will, everything that happens to you is part of the path. If you stub your foot, God doesn't want you to stay lying down. It's going to hurt a little, but you get up and keep going, because you know you're in his plan. That's what faith is.
• James 1:2-4 puts it this way: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” In the area of singleness too, we walk according to the word of God.

6. God's Favor Will Come : in His Time

• You are part of God's story. The trajectory of your life is built by him. In 2026, something will happen (maybe not a meeting right away, but the early signs of one). In 2027, something else. That's what faith is. If God told you everything ahead of time, you wouldn't need faith anymore.
• God doesn't skip us ahead through the steps, even when he's able to. The Israelites walked 40 years before reaching Canaan. The pastor isn't telling you your season of singleness will last 40 years, it might last a month, six months. But God has you walk step by step so that you grow in faith.
• Habakkuk 2:3 puts it this way: “For the vision is yet for the appointed time, and it hurries toward the end, and won't prove false. Though it takes time, wait for it, because it will surely come. It won't delay.” God determines things in time because he is the master of time. You're not the one who determines what will happen to you in the area of marriage.
• God's favor may arrive at the moment you least expect it at all. Maybe right when you're about to give up on everything. That's how he works.
• Lamentations 3:21-23 invites you to hold onto this thought in your heart: “This I recall to my mind; therefore I have hope. It is because of Yahweh's loving kindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion doesn't fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.” This is the God the pastor wants to tell you about, single friend.
• Remember the widow of Zarephath (1 Kings 17). She had a jar of flour and a jug of oil. Every time she went to use them, there was still flour. Every time she needed oil to make bread, there was still oil. Try explaining that scientifically. His kindness never runs out.
• So never doubt your God. Maybe it's been one year, two years, three years, whatever the case. His kindnesses are renewed every day. Your failures don't determine your future. What determines it is God's plan for you. And that plan, you have to accept by faith.

Key Takeaways

• God rules over circumstances, even over what looks to you like failure. Nothing that happens to you is a matter of chance if you belong to him.
• Make the right choices, of friends, of company, of spiritual advice. Stay faithful to God and faithful in serving him, without haggling for a blessing.
• Chase away shyness. Walk by faith, not by the flesh, but walk: the Lord has given you a spirit of power, love, and wisdom.
• Hold firm when doubt sets in. Trials produce perseverance, which makes you complete.
• God's favor comes in his time. His kindnesses are renewed every morning. Your faithfulness matters more than your failures.

Personal Application

• What “relationship failure” am I still carrying as a condemnation, when God would rather I see it as a guardrail?
• Which friends, which voices, which spiritual advice am I listening to right now? Do they bring me God's peace or the rush of the flesh?
• Am I serving God to squeeze out a blessing, or to offer him my life as a sweet-smelling fragrance (Romans 12:1)?
• Where is shyness holding me back from acting, a hello to say, a résumé to send, a decision to make?
• What will I hold onto in my heart this week, in the spirit of Lamentations 3:21-23, to keep hope rather than discouragement?

Verses Cited

• Ruth 1:16-17 · “Where you go, I will go; your God will be my God.”
• Ruth 2-4 · Boaz, the right of redemption, David's genealogy.
• Hebrews 11:6 · “Without faith it is impossible to be well pleasing to him.”
• Daniel 2:21 · “He changes the times and the seasons.”
• 2 Timothy 1:7 · “God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.”
• Hebrews 10:35-36 · “Don't throw away your boldness…”
• James 1:2-4 · “The testing of your faith produces endurance.”
• Habakkuk 2:3 · “Though it takes time, wait for it; because it will surely come.”
• Lamentations 3:21-23 · “His compassion doesn't fail. They are new every morning.”
• 1 Kings 17 · The widow of Zarephath.

FAQ

Does God have a plan for me if I've been single for a long time?

Yes. Pastor René OUANDJI reminds us that God is the master of time (Habakkuk 2:3) and that he can turn an entire family, an entire country, upside down to bless you. It's not your age, nor the passing of time, nor your failures that determine your future. It's God's plan for you, to be received by faith. In his own marriage, ten years passed between the first time they met and the moment his wife Nadine came to pick him up at the airport.

How do I know if “God told me” that a certain person is my future spouse?

God is consistent. If he's preparing someone for you, he's preparing both sides. He doesn't drop a one-sided revelation from heaven onto a single person. Beware of isolated statements like “God told me it's you” that bring not peace but trouble, Jesus said, “Peace be with you.” If it doesn't produce peace, you're not in God's will. The pastor goes as far as to say: get out of there and run.

Should I stay passive and wait for God to do everything?

No. Ruth goes out to work, Boaz acts to settle the right of redemption. God didn't give us a spirit of fear (2 Timothy 1:7) but a spirit of power, love, and self-control. You can walk by faith and simply walk, say hello, ask a question, put together a résumé, take a step. As long as you do it in the Spirit and not in the flesh, without losing who you are and without forcing God's hand (like the sister who had booked everything for her wedding… with no groom).