Romans 14: You Are Not Your Brother's Master

Introduction

The color of a filing cabinet, the use of the photocopier, a bottle of coffee syrup that looked like a bottle of alcohol, the question of whether the worship leader should wear shoes during the service: Takashi Kondo, pastor of Hamadera Bible Church in Sakai, near Osaka, opens his message with these real conflicts reported in American churches. It is tempting to laugh. But can we really laugh them off?

This message is the seventh in his series "The Believer Who Lives as an Architect," which looks at the church as a construction site. In Romans 14, Paul gives seven truths to keep in mind when you see differences among your brothers and sisters. The previous week, the pastor developed two of them: differences exist, and we are to accept one another rather than judge. Here, he develops three more.

The starting point is simple. Differences are not the problem. The problem is how you treat your brother when he does not think like you on something the Bible does not settle.

Outline of the message

1. Differences even in the smallest things

Churches know conflicts caused by sin. But big problems also grow out of tiny differences.
It is the same for us: how we run our schedule at home, our view of work, how we raise our children, how we serve in church. Everyone has their own ideas, opinions, and preferences.
This is normal. Our backgrounds, experiences, and personalities are different. On matters the Bible neither commands nor forbids, choices will inevitably differ.
In Rome, some ate everything, others only vegetables. Some set one day apart, others did not. Some judged, others despised. That is why Paul writes.

2. You are not your brother's master

"Who are you who judge another's servant? To his own lord he stands or falls. Yes, he will be made to stand, for the Lord has power to make him stand" (Romans 14:4).
The word "another's" refers to what belongs to someone else. The pastor connects it to Luke 16:12: "If you have not been faithful in that which is another's, who will give you that which is your own?" What is not yours, you cannot dispose of as you please.
The word "servant" here is not doulos, the most common term, but oiketes, formed from oikos, the household. This is the servant who belongs to a house: he cleans, takes care of the family, sometimes tutors the children, sometimes manages the property. He answers only to his master.
Your brother is not your property. He is the servant of the Lord Jesus. It is for the master to say whether his service is acceptable, and the Lord has the power to make him stand.
The pastor offers an image. You visit someone's home and see the child of the house washing dishes or folding laundry differently than you would. His parents thank him. Would you go and correct him? The parents would tell you: we are happy with it, we are the ones who taught him, what business is it of yours?

3. Judging sin is not the same thing

The pastor warns against a misunderstanding. Some use this passage to say that any judgment among Christians is wrong and unloving. That is not what the Bible teaches.
Romans 14 is not about sin. It is about matters of conscience: may I eat this, must I observe that day? On these points, we welcome one another with joy.
When a brother acts against what the Word clearly says, Matthew 18:15 says: "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone." You go because he has sinned, not because his way of doing things differs from yours.
1 Corinthians 5:11-13 points the same way: we do not let sin settle into the church. We name it with love, to call for repentance, because we long to see that brother stand before the Lord.
Even then, you do not speak as a master. Servants have no authority of their own. What you bring is the Word, which carries the Lord's authority.

4. You live for the Lord

In Romans 14:6-8, the expression "to the Lord" appears five times in three verses. The one who observes a day, the one who eats, the one who does not eat, the one who lives and the one who dies: all of it is done for the Lord.
The one who ate meat did so with joy, giving thanks. The one who did not, because his past left him uneasy, ate his vegetables with the same gratitude. Neither was superior to the other.
The real question is not first what you do, but for whom you do it. Before acting, you can ask yourself: can I do this for the Lord, with joy and gratitude, for his glory? If deep down the answer is no, do not do it.
When you lose sight of that question, you ask instead: what do I think, do I like it, is it comfortable for me? Your preferences then become the standard by which you judge others: "I have always done it this way," "why don't you do it like me?"
The pastor invites each person to look at married life, raising children, weekdays and holidays, fellowship among brothers and sisters, styles of worship, and ways of serving. When someone acts differently than you but for the Lord, can you rejoice in it?

5. Returning to the Gospel to get out of yourself

How do we stop being centered on ourselves, and keep it up over time? By remembering the Gospel.
"For to this end Christ died, rose, and lived again, that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living" (Romans 14:9). Jesus died and rose again to turn people who lived for themselves into people who live for the Lord.
We were rebels, convinced that our own standards were absolute, and by nature objects of wrath. Jesus paid the price on the cross to free us from that slavery. He died for all, "that those who live should no longer live to themselves" (2 Corinthians 5:15).
Galatians 2:20 gives Paul's testimony: "It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me." Your new life no longer belongs to you.
But Jesus also gave his life for the brother you are about to judge. He made him his own. When you look at the cross, you no longer want to impose your way. You are fellow travelers heading toward the same goal.

6. You will stand before the true Judge

"But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God" (Romans 14:10). Paul addresses both camps: the weak who judged, the strong who despised.
We easily see the lives of others, and our gaze goes outward. Paul turns it back on us: "So then each one of us will give account of himself to God" (verse 12). Like a servant who reports to his master on what was entrusted to him.
This judgment seat does not decide salvation. "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). It is the place where each person receives according to his walk (2 Corinthians 5:10).
The pastor asks us to imagine the scene: a brother is before Christ to give an account, and you step in. "Lord, excuse me for a moment. I know this person very well. They have a way of doing things that I just can't accept. So Lord, just this once, please step aside and let me do the judging." No one would dare. Yet that is what you do when you judge by your own standards.
He quotes the words of a believer: do not spend religious zeal on criticizing others, for the person most zealous in criticizing others is always the most indifferent to examining himself. The Lord will not ask you why your brother made that choice. He will ask you, "With the grace and freedom I gave you, how did you serve me faithfully, and how did you love your brothers and sisters?"

7. Accept one another as Christ accepted you

Loving someone who thinks like you is easy. The world does it. Loving someone who is different in every way is another matter, and we sometimes end up avoiding them.
Compared with God's holiness, we were different in every way. Yet he accepted us.
"Therefore accept one another, even as Christ also accepted us, to the glory of God" (Romans 15:7). If we accepted only those who are easy to accept, we would not know the Gospel.
We live for the glory of the Lord. Accepting one another shows others what the Lord has done for us. The pastor calls the whole church, and not only each individual, to become such a community.

Key takeaways

On matters the Bible does not settle, differences among Christians are normal. The problem is how you treat your brother.
Your brother is the Lord's servant, not yours. It is for his master to say whether his service is acceptable.
Romans 14 does not forbid you to correct a brother who sins, but it forbids you to judge him by your preferences.
The deciding question is "for whom?": everything you do or refrain from doing, do it for the Lord, with gratitude.
You will give an account of your own walk before the true Judge. Christ has accepted you, so accept your brother.

Personal application

On what secondary question are you tempted to judge or look down on a brother or sister right now?
When you say "I have always done it this way," is that a conviction before God or a preference you impose on others?
Can you do what you are doing this week for the Lord, with joy and gratitude?
Is there a clear sin you should raise with someone, humbly and out of love, instead of leaving it aside?
If the Lord asked you today how you have loved your brothers and sisters, what would you answer?

Verses cited

Frequently asked questions

What does "another's servant" mean in Romans 14:4?

The word translated "another's" refers to what belongs to someone else, as in Luke 16:12. The word "servant" is not doulos but oiketes, the servant attached to a household and answerable only to the master of that house. For Takashi Kondo, your brother belongs to the Lord Jesus: it is for him, not for you, to say whether his service is acceptable.

Does Romans 14 forbid correcting a brother who sins?

No. Romans 14 deals with matters of conscience that the Bible does not settle, such as eating meat or observing a day. When a brother sins against what the Word clearly says, Matthew 18:15 and 1 Corinthians 5:11-13 call us to go and correct him, out of love and with humility, bringing the Word and not our own authority.

Does God's judgment seat in Romans 14:10 threaten a believer's salvation?

No. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). The judgment seat Paul speaks of is the place where each believer gives an account of his walk and receives according to his faithfulness (2 Corinthians 5:10). The Lord will not ask you why your brother made that choice, but how you served and loved with the grace you received.