Toward a Mature Believer (2)

Introduction

What is the record for the longest distance ever run without sleeping? The answer is about 563 kilometers. In 2005, a man named Dean Karnazes ran for more than 80 hours, three days and three nights without closing his eyes. To put that in perspective, in Japan that would be roughly the distance from Osaka to the city of Fukushima. And that is not all. This same man ran through Death Valley at 50 degrees Celsius, he completed a full marathon in Antarctica at minus 40 degrees, and he ran fifty marathons in all fifty American states in fifty consecutive days.

How can a human being run so far and so long, despite the fatigue, the pain, the injuries? When asked, he answered this: "Pursuing what I love, that is my engine. When you walk through life toward your passion, motivation comes on its own." What pushed him to put one foot in front of the other was his love for running.

You and I are running a race too. The race of faith. Saved by grace, called to look like the Savior we love, we are walking toward a goal: becoming mature believers. This race, on this earth, is anything but easy. There are trials, there are hardships, there is the daily fight against sin. There is also that hardness of heart that never seems to budge, that sadness that sometimes makes you want to stop. In those moments, what can push you one more step forward? It is your love for the Lord. Love for the One who loved you first, while you were still a sinner.

This morning, continuing from the previous message, we look again at 1 Timothy 3:2-7. The portrait God paints sometimes seems so far from what you see in yourself. When that happens, come back first to the love of God. Then, strengthened by that love, take up the race toward maturity again. Here are the last eight traits of the portrait, from the eighth to the fifteenth.

The Text: 1 Timothy 3:2-7

"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober minded, self controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil." (1 Timothy 3:2-7)

Outline of the Article

8. Not a Drunkard

The eighth trait is not being a drunkard. In other words, someone who is not ruled by alcohol. His life is not marked by drinking.

The Bible speaks several times of the danger of alcohol. It first says that it dulls judgment: "Wine and new wine take away the understanding" (Hosea 4:11). You do not have to look far to see it confirmed: car accidents, hurtful words spoken under the influence, broken relationships. And more seriously still, alcohol pulls people away from the Lord. Isaiah described Israel as a people who "rise early in the morning, that they may run after strong drink... but do not regard the deeds of the Lord, or see the work of his hands" (Isaiah 5:11-12).

Alcohol is also a master that enslaves. It starts with a little, you find it relaxing, that it helps you forget, that it relieves stress. You increase the doses. You end up unable to do without it. Paul writes: "Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:17-18).

Maybe you are thinking, "On that point, I'm fine." Good for you. But ask yourself further: is there not something else, apart from God, that has become your master? Something you can no longer function without, that makes you anxious the moment it is out of reach? If something is turning your heart away from the Lord, removing it is part of your growth toward maturity.

9. Not Violent

The ninth trait is not being violent. Violence is not only raising a hand. It is expressing anger in all its forms: thoughts, words, gestures. One pastor defines anger as "that inner fire that rises up against what feels unjust, and that seeks to pay the other person back in kind." The violent person lets that frustration spill over, through a cutting remark, a hostile silence, a gesture, an impulsive decision. The mature believer refuses this way of expressing himself.

10. Gentle (Not Insisting on One's Rights)

The tenth trait, the exact opposite of the previous one, is being gentle. The Greek word originally described an attitude that refuses to claim, to the letter, every right one could legally demand. From there, the meaning broadened to magnanimity, patience, kindness. The gentle person is above all a generous person: he does not cling to his rights. Even when someone treats him unjustly, he chooses patience and kindness over retaliation.

Look around you. In children, the moment a toy is taken from them or someone cuts in front of them in line, anger erupts. As we grow up, we no longer shout, but we find quieter forms of the same thing: "Since my family spoke to me badly, I have the right to stay silent and make the atmosphere cold." "Since my friend hurt me, I have the right to speak badly of him behind his back and keep my distance." We claim a right that seems legitimate.

But the gentle person chooses to set that right aside. Where it would be natural to feel offended, he chooses generosity. Where he could hold on to bitterness, he chooses mercy. Where it would be normal to return the wound, he chooses forgiveness.

Why? Because Jesus himself acted this way. Nailed to the cross, surrounded by people insulting him, though he was perfectly innocent, he did not demand his rights or call for punishment. He prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). He had the right. He did not use it. He endured, in patience, to accomplish his work as Savior. Whoever has been forgiven by such grace is called to treat others with the same breadth of heart.

11. Not Quarrelsome (Peaceable)

The eleventh trait is not being quarrelsome. The word carries both the refusal of disputes and the love of peace. The mature believer avoids fighting for the sake of fighting and seeks to build peace wherever he goes. Solomon writes, "It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling" (Proverbs 20:3). And Jesus declares, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God" (Matthew 5:9).

Make no mistake: seeking peace does not mean bargaining away the truth. Nor does it mean "avoiding waves" while swallowing bitterness inside. The peace you pursue is always rooted in God's truth. If Christ has given you peace with God, you can become, with gratitude, a peacemaker toward everyone.

12. Not a Lover of Money

The twelfth trait is being free from the love of money. The Greek word combines "silver coin" and "to love," with a negation in front. Literally: not loving money. Why does this pose a problem for anyone aiming at maturity?

First, because the love of money and the love of God cannot coexist. Jesus said it clearly: "No one can serve two masters... You cannot serve God and money" (Matthew 6:24). There is no part time position in the spiritual life. If the love of money occupies the seat of the heart, the love of God is driven out of it.

Second, because the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil: "The love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs" (1 Timothy 6:10). Money itself is not evil. It allows you to feed your family, to serve others. But when it becomes an idol, it opens the door to jealousy, anxiety, greed, theft, and lies.

Finally, the love of money kills contentment and undermines trust in God: "Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). When billionaire John D. Rockefeller was asked how much money it takes to be happy, he answered, "Just a little bit more." That is the lie: "A little more, and I will be secure." It never comes.

The mature believer walks in this confidence: "He will not leave me." It is in God, not in a bank account, that he seeks his satisfaction.

13. Managing His Household Well

The thirteenth trait is managing his household well. The verb translated "manage" here literally means "to stand at the head," "to go ahead of." It describes someone who leads like a chief, walking out in front. A little further on, Paul writes about "caring for God's church." The verb used describes attentiveness that gives itself with love and sacrifice to meet the other person's need.

The father (and more broadly the spiritual leader of the home) is therefore called both to lead and to care. He shows the way with authority, and he spends himself with love for those in his care. When this dual posture is lived out, a fruit appears: children who follow. "Keeping his children submissive" does not mean crushing them. It describes the state of someone who accepts being placed under an authority, rather than seizing every lever of control himself.

Around us, we often see the opposite: it is the children who decide, the parents who negotiate. The Word calls us to something else. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

One commentator, William Hendriksen, sums it up well: when a father exercises his authority, he must do it with real dignity, his firmness makes submission wise in the eyes of the child, his wisdom makes it natural, his love makes it joyful. No parent is perfect. All are sinners by nature. There will be failures, weaknesses, sins to confess. But in the midst of that, the mature believer leans on the Word and guides his family with love, so that his children learn to place themselves under authority.

14. Not a Recent Convert (Humility)

The fourteenth trait is not being a recent convert. This is not a matter of intellectual speed or speaking ability. The reason is given plainly: "or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil." The spiritual child, who does not yet grasp the depth of his own sin or the cunning of the enemy, is especially exposed to pride.

The verb translated "puffed up with conceit" comes from a root that evokes smoke. Picture yourself wrapped in smoke: you can no longer see around you, you no longer know where you are. The proud person, most of the time, does not realize he is proud. The smoke of pride blinds him to himself: he overvalues his own ideas, his opinion, his position, his way of doing things.

Worse still, that same smoke keeps him from seeing his own pride, even as he sees other people's pride very clearly. C. S. Lewis wrote it well: few sins are as hated by others, and as little felt by the one who commits them; the more a person is afflicted by it himself, the more intolerable he finds the same flaw in someone else.

Remember: it was pride that brought down Satan. It was pride that brought down Nebuchadnezzar and other kings. "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18). One step ahead of the proud person, there is always ruin.

Jesus himself, the only perfect one, humbled himself to the point of serving: "Whoever would be great among you must be your servant... For the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:43-45). The true number one made himself the servant of all. It is through this humble love that you have been forgiven and made new. Your response is to walk in that same humility, honestly remembering your own sin.

15. A Good Reputation with Outsiders

The fifteenth and final trait is having a good reputation with outsiders: that your way of living be consistent everywhere. On Sunday with the brothers and sisters, but also Monday through Saturday with those who do not share your faith.

We gather on Sundays, we open the same Word, we worship the same God, we live among brothers and sisters. What a privilege. But once we walk out the doors of the church, how does the week go? At work, at school, at home, in the neighborhood? Is my conduct the same in front of those who do not know God and do not share my values?

Those around you watch your ordinary life. They may not embrace what you believe, but your way of living can spark respect and curiosity. That is what Jesus says: "You are the light of the world... Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:14-16).

The world has never embraced the Christian faith en masse, but it has always recognized the beauty of an integrous Christian life, and it has never failed to call out the inconsistency between a believer's words and his life. If your professed faith does not match your daily life, people see it. And worse, it is the gospel itself, and the Word that is able to change you, that becomes suspect in their eyes. That is exactly what the enemy is after.

A consistent life, the same on Sunday and on Tuesday, at church and at the office: that is the fifteenth trait of the mature believer.

Key Takeaways

The last eight traits of the portrait in 1 Timothy 3: sober, not violent, gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money, a good household manager, humble, and a good reputation with outsiders.
The real question is not only "am I an alcoholic?" but "what, in my life, is taking the place that belongs to God?"
Gentleness, following Jesus's example on the cross, chooses to lay down a legitimate right in order to offer grace instead.
The love of money and the love of God cannot coexist; contentment is the remedy.
The household is led through a combination of firmness and sacrificial love; it is the parents who carry the responsibility, not the children.
Pride blinds the one who is afflicted by it; it always goes before a fall.
Maturity shows up in consistency: the same person at church and in the world.
The engine behind this whole race is not performance, it is the love of Jesus who loved you first.

Personal Application

Is there, in your life, something (beyond alcohol) that you feel you can no longer function without? What could you put back in its proper place this week?
When did you, in recent days, insist on a legitimate "right" instead of laying it down as Jesus did? Toward whom could you turn back and offer grace?
Where do you stand with money? Are you living in contentment, or in "always a little more"?
If you are a parent: who really makes the decisions at home? How could you, with love, take back the lead in your household?
Would someone who knows you outside of church see the same person on Sunday and on Tuesday? Where is the gap most visible?

Verses Cited

FAQ

Does the Bible completely forbid drinking alcohol?

No. Scripture condemns drunkenness and enslavement to drink, not its use as such. The real issue is who reigns over your life: God, or something else. If a substance, a screen, a habit, takes the place that belongs to God, that is what needs to be set aside.

Doesn't refusing to claim your rights mean letting yourself be walked over?

The gentleness Paul describes is not weakness. It is a deliberate choice to give up a legitimate claim in order to offer grace, as Jesus did on the cross. It does not deny the injustice, it refuses to return it to the other person, leaving the judgment to God instead.

How can I recognize that I am struggling with pride, if pride makes me blind to it?

That is exactly why God places a spiritual family around you. Ask your spouse, a brother or sister, a pastor, to tell you honestly what they see. Stay regularly before the Word, which lays bare the intentions of the heart. And above all, keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, humble even to the cross: the more you gaze at him, the more the smoke clears.

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