Introduction
Our age no longer knows what to do with men and women. On one side, differences are erased; on the other, the battle of the sexes rages. In 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, Paul refuses both dead ends: God created men and women different, with complementary roles, and these differences are to be celebrated. How can we live as men and women in the church, without confusion and without confrontation?
Message Outline
1. Let's not lose our heads in our relationships (v. 2-6)
- Paul reminds us of an order willed by God: Christ is the head of every man, man is the head of woman, and God is the head of Christ.
- This word "head" does not mean domination: God the Father and God the Son are equal from all eternity (Arianism, which made the Son an inferior being, was rejected as a heresy).
- Jesus is a king who came not to be served, but to serve: for him, being head means serving and sacrificing himself for others.
- God entrusts man with a particular responsibility of service, not because he would be more intelligent, more spiritual, or more capable (experience often proves the opposite), but somewhat like a team captain: the one who motivates, gives direction, and takes responsibility when the team plays poorly.
2. Let's not forget our roles since creation (v. 7-12)
- Simone de Beauvoir stated: "One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman." Paul responds that certain differences do not come only from culture, but from the way God created us.
- Paul refers back to Genesis: God creates Adam, gives him a mission, then declares that it is not good for him to be alone and makes him a helper who is his counterpart, the word "helper" has nothing degrading about it: God himself is described elsewhere as the helper of his people.
- When Adam sees Eve, he sings history's first love song: "This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." You are like me, but different from me; we are made for each other.
- Verse 10 ("for this reason, because of the angels, the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head") literally evokes an authority that she carries on her head: the right and the proper dignity to pray and prophesy in the church as a woman, without becoming a man.
3. Let's not hide from our differences (v. 13-16)
- In Corinth, long hair for a man or an uncovered head for a woman meant that one refused one's sex. Today, customs have changed, three of the four elders at Connexion church have had long hair.
- Even in the Bible customs evolve: Samson never cut his hair, and it was God himself who commanded him to do so.
- This is no longer a question of veil or hair length, but of a relational dynamic: the equality and interdependence of men and women, and male responsibility with female support.
- Concretely in the church: mixed groups where we pray and prophesy together, a man-woman pair to lead a community group, no room for contemptuous attitudes toward the opposite sex, and men who take up their responsibilities (welcome, children's ministry, family Bible and prayer time) instead of backing down or playing the alpha male.
Key Takeaways
- Men and women are equal but not identical: they are interdependent, not interchangeable.
- To be "head" according to the Bible is to serve and sacrifice oneself, after the image of Jesus, never to crush.
- God created men and women gloriously complementary; we need each other to accomplish the mission he entrusts to us.
- A woman does not need to become a man to participate fully in the life of the church: she has her own dignity and authority to pray and prophesy as a woman.
- The watchword for everyone: do your part and do it for the Lord, don't quit and don't grow bitter if others don't seem to measure up.
Personal Application
- Do you perceive your differences as a man/woman as a gift from God to be celebrated, or as a problem to be erased?
- If you are a man, in what concrete area (family, community group, service in the church) are you called to take up your responsibilities instead of backing down?
- If you are a woman, how can you encourage the servant leadership of the men around you, without belittling them or systematically seeking to have the last word?
- Is there, in your heart, contempt toward the opposite sex (fed by a past wound, a culture, or a prevailing narrative), that you need to bring to Jesus?
- Is your church a place where people feel safe, where no one needs to crush another to exist? What is your part in making that true?
Verses Cited
Further reading
Frequently Asked Questions
Does "man is the head of woman" mean that women must obey all men?
No. Paul is speaking specifically about the context of the church, not a generalized submission of women to all men in society at large. And he does not use the word "submission" in this passage: he speaks of a particular responsibility entrusted to men to serve and sacrifice themselves, after the image of Jesus, a "head" who is not an authoritarian boss but a team captain who owns the group's failures.
Do women need to be veiled today at church?
This passage does not make it an obligation. In Corinth, for a woman to go unveiled or have short hair culturally signaled "I refuse to be a woman." Today, customs have changed and such a signal no longer works. If your conscience leads you to it, you may do so; but the biblical essential is to embrace and celebrate one's differences in the way one behaves and serves in the church.
What should I do if I suffer from gender dysphoria or if this subject reopens wounds?
God loves you, he did not make a mistake when he created you with the body you have, and he offers the resources you need. The pastor encourages talking about it and recommends the book "Transgender" by Vaughan Roberts, which gives a biblical perspective on this subject. If you have been crushed by the opposite sex, remember that Jesus crushes no one: bring him your wound, he is the servant head who died to set us right again.
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