Being a Man According to God: Leader, Servant, and Anchor

Introduction

Where are the men? Not the movie heroes we invoke once to save the day, but the faithful, present, solid men whom a wife, children, and a Church genuinely need. On this Father's Day Sunday 2024 at Porte Ouverte Chrétienne, Samuel Peterschmitt starts from a clear and painful observation: society and the Church are sorely lacking men made in God's image. His message is not a trial against men, it is a call. A call to reclaim the identity God gave us, to understand that the biblical leader is not a tyrant but a servant, and to become, in our homes, the stable anchors our families are waiting for.

Message Outline

1. An observation: society and the Church lack men made in God's image

• The sermon opens with the Marines' motto ("Semper Fidelis, always faithful"), and this stinging phrase: "You can be a hero once, by chance. A faithful man, you have to be always." Albert Einstein said: "Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
• Samuel Peterschmitt quotes at length from Stromae's song "Papaoutai" ("Tell me where he comes from, then I'll finally know where I'm going"), to show how much the disappearance of fathers has marked an entire generation. These lyrics are jarring because they reflect the real state of our society.
• The observation does not stop with the world. "The Church itself is sorely lacking men made in God's image." The preacher first addresses the men of the Church, the couples, the families of the Church, before moralizing to anyone else.
• The reminder from Genesis: "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him" (Genesis 1:27). To be created in someone's image is to be there to reflect them. What do our children, our wives, society, see when they look at us?

2. Created in his image, physiologically and psychologically

• God did not make a mistake. He created us physiologically (man or woman), and our physiology matches our psychology. "He did not put the wrong contents in the wrong container."
• Samuel Peterschmitt addresses the question of gender dysphoria with compassion and firmness: yes, there are broken hearts, men and women who have suffered for various reasons and who no longer find their bearings. But God does not ask us to mutilate the body to align it with a wounded soul: "God comes to heal the soul so that it is once again in harmony with the body he created."
• The biblical solution is the harmony of spirit, soul, and body that the apostle Paul speaks of. When these three are aligned, "the man is happy to be a man, the woman is happy to be a woman," and they flourish in complementarity, not in rivalry nor in a mere question of equality.
• With David you can say: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). This reconciliation with who you are changes your relationship to yourself, to your spouse, to your place in the family.

3. The leader according to God is not one who dominates, but one who serves

• "The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God" (1 Corinthians 11:3). It is not we who established that there be a head, it is God.
• But Jesus settled the debate: "The greatest among you shall be your servant" (Matthew 23:11). The leader according to Scripture is not one who dominates, but one who serves. This is where the confusion comes from: we have long confused the leader according to the flesh (the tycoon on his throne whose shoes are removed for him), with the leader according to God.
• Samuel Peterschmitt bears witness about his father, a man of anointing who led his household but who was one of the gentlest and most servant-hearted husbands he has known. He did the grocery shopping at the Super U, knew all the prices, made sure nothing was lacking. His wife, now 92 years old, still testifies to this.
• Machismo is the exact opposite of the anointed man. The macho man dominates through flesh, physical force, moral force. He has caused generations of women and young girls to suffer. The anointed man, on the other hand, does not need to impose his authority: it is present without his having to assert it.

4. Jesus, the model of manhood according to God

• Far from the effeminate image given by certain paintings, Jesus was a true man. A carpenter (that is, a builder of houses in his time), physically solid, but who never resorted to violence (except to braid a whip and restore order in the temple).
• He was not afraid to defend difficult causes. Faced with the adulterous woman, he takes a stand for her at the risk of his reputation: "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her" (John 8:7). An anointed man defends what is right, even if people speak ill of him for it.
• He knew who he was. Before those who came to arrest him: "Jesus said to them, 'I am he.' When he said this, they drew back and fell to the ground" (John 18:6). His identity was clear. Do you know who you are, what God is calling you to, the role he has given you?
• He was faithful to the end. "Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end" (John 13:1). Faithful to his Father, faithful to his disciples, faithful to us all the way to the cross. Today, too many men have become "bruised reeds" that no one can lean on without being hurt.
• He was humble but received recognition without false modesty. When the crowd praises God at his entry into Jerusalem and the Pharisees ask him to silence his disciples, he answers: "I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out" (Luke 19:40). He did not seek recognition, but he did not flee from it either when it came naturally.

5. An anointed man is a man of courage

• Faithfulness in Hebrew comes from the term aman, to hold firmly, to be trustworthy. It requires courage. And "courage is not the absence of fear, it is overcoming your fear" and making the right decisions at the right time for those entrusted to you.
• The courage to flee temptation. Joseph showed courage by fleeing from Potiphar's wife (Genesis 39). Sometimes it takes more courage to leave than to stay. Better to be seen as weak than to end up in a bed that isn't yours. Samuel recounts how, as a young married man, he extricated himself from a female coworker who had cornered him and left, without negotiating.
• The courage to stand on the Word. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refuse to worship the statue (Daniel 3), Daniel continues to pray despite the decree (Daniel 6). "Today we are in a country where we will need the courage to keep proclaiming what the Bible says, whatever the laws may be."
• The courage to raise your children. It takes courage to raise them differently than society dictates, to resist the pressure of social media, to sometimes discipline according to Scripture. Samuel Peterschmitt shares a few delightful stories about his son Josué, from a cafeteria line to a blunt question asked in front of the president of the Protestant Families of France.
• The courage to say no, including to your wife when a child is right. There are bad kinds of peace, the kind that cost children their balance and where anger stays buried for lack of daring to speak. "Make sure your children never pay the price for your peace."
• The courage to take a stand for your wife, including in front of your own mother when necessary.

6. Remaining an example, even through the storms of marriage

• This courage is born in faith and in communion with God. "You will never be more than what you are in your communion with God. That is where you draw what matters most."
• Samuel Peterschmitt testifies: he went through crises with Dominique so deep that his own teenagers told him, "Dad, you should just get a divorce." It took courage to keep believing that God could make the impossible possible.
• During those dark hours, his father would come and pray. One day, at the end of his rope, Samuel told him: "If your prayer is for me to stay with this woman for another 40 years, keep your prayer and go home." His father was not discouraged. He kept praying. He always said: "Samuel, you made a covenant, now fight for your covenant." He never sided with his son against his daughter-in-law. And God performed the miracle: today Samuel says he can no longer imagine his life with any other woman than his own.
• Remaining an example of faith, of prayer, of love for the Word. As a child, every morning, Samuel would see his father in front of the couch interceding for the Church, Bible open on the table. He never needed to tell him, "Sami, read the Bible, Sami, pray." He was the example.
• The message closes with the reading of a tribute written by Josué to his father: "Thank you for the man you are, who made me the man I am… you passed on to me the greatest of riches, the one I can only wish for everyone: you passed on to me your faith, your love for Jesus, your reverence for his name, your love for his kingdom, and your relentless dedication to serving him."

Key Takeaways

• Do not seek to be a man of success. Seek to be a man of value, that is, a faithful, present man on whom your loved ones can lean without being hurt.
• You were created in the image of God. Your body and your soul are tuned by the Creator. Reconcile yourself with who you are before trying to correct what God has made.
• The leader according to God is not one who dominates, but one who serves. A husband who loves his wife serves her. A father who loves his children protects them, corrects them gently, never crushes them.
• Courage is not the absence of fear, it is the ability to make the right decision despite fear, whether to flee temptation, stand on the Word, raise a child, or say no when necessary.
• Your home is shaped first by your communion with God. You will never be more outwardly than what you are in secret with him.

Personal Application

1. If your wife, your children, or your coworkers had to describe you in three words today, what would they be? Do those words reflect a faithful man, or a man who runs from his responsibilities?
2. Where are you in reconciling with your identity as a man or woman as God gave it to you? Can you honestly say with David: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made"?
3. In your home, are you a leader who serves, or a leader who is served? What concrete action could you take this week to actively serve your spouse or your children?
4. Is there a temptation, a relationship, a subscription, a screen, that courage is asking you today not to face but to flee? What are you delaying cutting off?
5. Is there a bad kind of peace in your home, a silence that protects your comfort but hurts those you love? What courageous conversation is God asking you to have?

Verses Cited

• Genesis 1:27 · God created man in his own image
• Psalm 139:14 · I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made
• 1 Corinthians 11:3 · The head of every man is Christ
• Matthew 23:11 · The greatest among you shall be your servant
• Isaiah 53:2 · He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him
• John 8:7 · Let him who is without sin be the first to throw a stone
• John 13:1 · Having loved his own, he loved them to the end
• John 18:5-6 · They drew back and fell to the ground
• Luke 19:40 · If these were silent, the stones would cry out
• Genesis 39 · Joseph flees Potiphar's wife
• Daniel 3 · Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego before the statue
• Daniel 6 · Daniel in the lions' den

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a "man according to God" according to Samuel Peterschmitt?

It is a man who accepts having been created in the image of God and who seeks to reflect his Creator in his home, in the Church, and in society. Concretely, he is a man faithful to his commitments, courageous in his decisions, a servant to his wife and children, humble yet able to stand on the Word, a man on whom his loved ones can lean without being hurt. He is not a movie hero. He is a father and husband who is present, day after day.

Is being "head of the family" according to the Bible the same as dominating your wife?

No. Scripture does state that "the head of woman is man" (1 Corinthians 11:3), but Jesus overturned the definition of "head": "The greatest among you shall be your servant" (Matthew 23:11). The biblical leader is not one who dominates through force or imposed authority, but one who loves, protects, serves, and blesses. Machismo is the exact opposite of the anointed man. An anointed man does not even need to impose his authority: it radiates without his having to assert it.

What does this message say to a man who has already failed in his role as father or husband?

It reminds him of two things: that God can restore, and that your communion with him is where you will find the strength to start again. Samuel Peterschmitt openly testifies that his own marriage went through moments when divorce seemed inevitable, when his teenagers told him to leave. It was not human willpower that held things together, it was faith, his father's faithful prayer, and the conviction that God can make the impossible possible. Do not let go of anything. In your weakness, his grace is glorified.