Mark 2: Looking Behind Someone's Behavior

Introduction

That Sunday at the Evangelische Gemeente Hoogvliet in the Netherlands, the service was a family service. The youngest children stayed in the room, and the guest speaker, Elsa, did not preach from behind a pulpit. She walked in dressed as a sports coach, gym bag in hand. The theme of the morning came down to two words: "wonderfully changed."

Her team has a problem. A boy named Jantje never wants to do anything. But behind this story acted out for the children, there are lessons for every age: guilt, loneliness, the friendship that carries someone all the way to Jesus, and a heart that still has to open. At the center stands a Gospel account: the paralyzed man whom four friends lower through the roof (Mark 2).

Outline of the Message

1. Jantje, the One Who Never Wants to Do Anything

On the team, Jantje "is not very nice." When the chairs in the clubhouse need to be set up, he always answers, "No, I don't feel like it." Or else, "I'm going to sleep a little longer."
When someone always acts like this, it is easy to think, "Forget it." But God says something else: "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened." Everyone can come to him.
So the coach gives Jantje an important task: lock up the clubhouse and put the key in her bag. The result: no key, and in its place, a pile of dog poop.
Now the main sponsor has given the team a gift, with one condition: all the players must be present to open it. And Jantje no longer comes. He hides behind the clubhouse and feels guilty.

2. Looking Behind the Behavior

Another player on the team, Gakpo, was exactly like Jantje a year ago. Then he got to know Jesus. Since then he prays often, including before every match. "If you don't know, God knows."
His key to helping Jantje: "look beyond the behavior." When someone is not pleasant, at school or at work, what could be behind it? The congregation answers: shyness, insecurity. "There can be so many reasons why someone's behavior is not pleasant."
Before trying to change someone, Gakpo starts with one thing: praying for him.

3. First Lesson: You Can Always Come to Jesus

With a volunteer, Elsa tears a beautiful sheet of paper again and again, then crumples it into balls. "It was a straight sheet, with no tear in it." That is how Jantje feels: he has ruined everything.
Then the sheet reappears whole. As the children's song says, God "sees the things that others do not see."
"We really do make mistakes sometimes. But the beautiful thing is that you can always come to Jesus." And she picks up the song sung earlier: there is no friend as faithful as Jesus.
The sheet will be given to Jantje as a reminder: when I have done something wrong, I do not need to act tough, I can simply come to Jesus.

4. Second Lesson: Alone, Even Among Others

Jantje also feels alone. "Deep in your heart, everyone feels alone sometimes." That does not mean you are alone: you can feel lonely in a big group, in your marriage, at school, at work.
Elsa is thinking of the one who is the only Christian at the table with his coworkers, when the conversation turns to something that bothers him, or when nobody wants to hear about faith.
What can you do? Pray: "Lord, I feel alone. Will you help me? Will you be with me?" And when, besides praying, we sing together, when the Church watches over one another and helps one another, the scattered pieces come together into a beautiful circle: "You are one, together."

5. God Makes You New Every Day

Guilt, Elsa explains to the children, is what you feel when Mom said not to touch the candy until she got back, you ate some, and she asks, "Did you eat some?"
She holds up a brand-new balloon. Jantje has done something not very smart, "it happens to all of us," and the balloon turns dirty, as if rolled in mud. After a countdown and a prayer, the balloon is clean again.
"God makes you new every day. He renews you. Whatever you have done." Even if you hid dog poop in a bag. "That is how much God loves you."

6. The Four Friends Who Carry Their Friend to Jesus

For Elsa, you can do tricks, but the most important thing is still the Bible. She tells the story of a man who could not walk and grumbled all day long, lying on his mat, waiting.
Fortunately, he had four friends. "Even if someone's behavior is difficult, it is precious to have friends who support you and keep coming." She encourages everyone to appreciate friends like that.
They carry him, it is heavy, he is still grumbling, and they encourage him: "Come on, we're taking you to Jesus." Because "the best thing to do when someone's behavior is difficult is to bring them to Jesus." That is what Gakpo does by praying for Jantje.
The house is full. They do not get discouraged, they think in terms of possibilities: they climb onto the flat roof, remove the tiles and lower their friend. He has to be kept balanced, because if one of them lets go, he falls: "That is what real friendship is, and what working together in a church is: watching over one another and keeping each other in balance."
Jesus' first words are not "Arise, and take up your bed, and walk." Jesus knew how this man felt. "The Lord Jesus knows what we think, he knows how we are doing inside." He first tells him that his sins are forgiven, then asks, "Which is easier?" and has him get up. The man jumps for joy, apologizes for his attitude and thanks his friends.
The most important lesson, says Elsa: you can come to the Lord Jesus, he makes you new, he loves you and he restores you.

7. Open the Door of Your Heart

To open the gift, you have to open the door. And Jantje's heart still has to open too: "Is your door still locked? Open it to God." Children put together the word "open" as a group.
Jantje comes back: "I want to help." He asks for forgiveness. They tell him he is forgiven and: "You don't need to act tough. You can simply be yourself."
The gift is a candy dispenser. The main sponsor, who even checks in along the way, has already paid for everything, arranged everything, and knows exactly what the team needs. Inside the dispenser they find the key and a heart bearing these words: "Jesus loves you" and "Open your heart."
Invited without any preparation to wrap up, the church's pastor sums it up: we all make mistakes, but we are always welcome with God. Sometimes we close ourselves off to him, and God wants to come into your heart precisely then. If you have lost the key and no longer know how to open your heart, God can help you find it again. "You never need to feel alone again." Elsa adds: and you also need the Church.

Key Takeaways

Behind difficult behavior there is often shyness, insecurity, guilt or loneliness.
The best thing to do for someone who is struggling is to pray for them and bring them to Jesus.
Whatever you have done, you can come to Jesus without acting tough: he forgives, he makes new, he restores.
You can feel alone anywhere, but prayer and a Church that watches over everyone break through that isolation.
God wants to come into your heart, and if you have lost the key, he can help you find it again.

Personal Application

Who is the "Jantje" in your life, and what might be hiding behind his behavior?
Do you pray for the people who make your life difficult, or do you give up on them?
Is there a fault you still feel guilty about and have not brought to Jesus?
Where do you feel alone right now: in your marriage, at school, at work? Who could you tell?
Like the four friends, who could you carry to Jesus this week, even if it is heavy?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to "look behind the behavior" of someone?

When someone is unpleasant, at school or at work, there may be shyness, insecurity, guilt or loneliness behind it. Elsa invites us not to stop at the behavior, to pray for that person and to bring them to Jesus, like the four friends of the paralyzed man.

Why does Jesus first tell the paralyzed man that his sins are forgiven?

In Mark 2, Jesus does not begin with "Get up and walk." He knew how this man felt. He knows what we think and how we are doing inside. He begins with forgiveness, then has him stand up: he restores the whole person.

What should you do when you feel guilty or alone?

Come to Jesus, without acting tough. He forgives and makes you new every day, whatever you have done. And when you feel alone, you can tell him in prayer, then let the Church surround you, where people watch over one another.