Matthew 18: Correcting Your Brother with Love and Forgiveness

Introduction

"How to Bear Witness: A Path of Love and Forgiveness." That is the title Maurice gives his message, preached during the service at the Église Réformée Évangélique de Toulouse. His text is Matthew 18, starting at verse 12: the lost sheep, then the steps to follow when a brother has sinned, and finally Peter's question about forgiveness.

The preacher deliberately begins with the parable of the lost sheep, which everyone knows. He does not comment on it, but he insists on quoting it, because the text that follows is "much more complicated." This whole difficult passage is framed by a strong statement: "Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish."

Often read as a text about discipline, this passage is for Maurice above all a path of life toward the brother or sister who has gone astray. He walks through it in four steps before concluding on forgiveness.

Outline of the Message

1. "If your brother has sinned"

Matthew describes a possible situation: if this happens, here is how you should act.
Your brother is a believer like you. He also puts his trust in Jesus Christ, even if his behavior is "out of line." Do not say he is not a Christian: "Are you the judge who perfectly assesses a person's life?"
It can also be a brother in humanity, who has not yet discovered all of God's demands or all of his grace. You approach him with humility, love, patience and understanding.
What is sin? As with Adam and Eve, it is not trusting God's word; it is opposing him.
Maurice relies on Galatians 5: Paul contrasts the works of a person left to himself (immorality, idolatry, hatred, quarrels, anger, rivalries, divisions, envy, drunkenness) with the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control).
Then Paul adds: if someone is caught in a fault, you who are led by the Spirit, restore him with a spirit of gentleness, and watch out that you are not tempted yourselves (Galatians 6:1).

2. Discipline or a path of life?

A commentator in the newspaper Réforme sees in this passage "the oldest summary of church discipline for handling conflict."
Conflicts are often seen as spiritual illnesses, yet they are part of life: "Only the dead no longer have conflict." A church's faithfulness is not seen in the absence of conflict, but in the way it deals with it.
Maurice prefers to say: the way it deals with sin, "or rather the sinner, without forgetting that we all are."
The Petit Robert dictionary links the word discipline to punishment, to the whip people used to strike themselves with, to the disciplinary board that hands down sanctions. The preacher reads it instead as a rule of conduct, which he puts as a path of life.
The goal is awareness of the wrong that has been done. And the one who convicts is the Holy Spirit: "When he has come, he will convict the world about sin, about righteousness, and about judgment" (John 16:8). Even though it is God who convicts, he uses human beings.

3. First step: go and speak to him privately

First, an explanation from person to person. The French Semeur version translates: "go to him and make him see his fault."
It seems obvious, but too often, when someone has hurt us, our first reflex is to talk about it with a third person.
The principle is simple: "Nothing should be said about a person without that person knowing."
"If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Maurice puts it this way: God used you to convince your brother and help him grow in the knowledge of God.

4. Second step: one or two others with you

One could understand this as informing one or two people before going to see the brother together. Maurice warns: beware of informing on someone.
Another possible reading is to call on a mediator. Letting each person describe the situation from his own point of view helps put things in perspective, because "the fault is not always 100% on the same side," and an act can be seen as a sin by one person and not by another.
But the text does speak of a brother who has sinned. The goal is that he repents and returns to the right path.
Jesus refers to Deuteronomy 19:15: a single witness is not enough; a fact is established only on the testimony of two or three witnesses. These are therefore real witnesses, not people simply informed of the situation.

5. Third step: tell it to the church

Should we be informers? According to the Petit Robert, informing on someone is often inspired by a motive contrary to morality. It must not be confused with whistleblowing, which consists of exposing dangerous practices.
"Tell it to the church" is closer to raising the alarm. The works of darkness are destructive "for the person, for society, for life itself." Often it was an open secret: everyone knew, no one dared to speak. This counter-witness must be exposed.
Sometimes, when reconciliation is impossible, a good separation is better than a conflict that festers. But this separation remains a failure.
If someone must be set aside, Maurice points to three situations: a sin condemned even by society, such as the incest Paul speaks of (1 Corinthians 5:1), murder, proven theft, abuse committed against children, or unacknowledged and untreated addictions that prevent a person from exercising responsibility; the rejection of the heart of the faith, such as the resurrection (1 Corinthians 15:14); and finally the person who imposes his own truth, does not welcome the other (Romans 14:1), acts like a guru or practices abuse of power.
Churches today are concerned about sexual abuse and sexism. Protestants do not have courts like the Catholic Church, and having the same body support both victims and alleged offenders risks encouraging silence and "sweeping the problem under the rug." Dedicated bodies seem necessary. The question is being debated at the Fédération protestante de France (FPF), at the CNEF and in other countries.
He is careful to add: "Our text does not say: sanction." Telling the church means helping it understand why these behaviors do not reflect the Gospel. Like Paul before the elders of Ephesus, we must proclaim the whole purpose of God (Acts 20:27).
Maurice sums up this purpose as follows: proclaim that there is salvation only in Jesus Christ; point out ambiguities, as Paul did with the Corinthians, who were divided and yet took communion together; give meaning to sexuality, work, leisure and life in community; encourage each person's responsibility, for example through restorative justice; and warn, because "whatever a man sows, that he will also reap" (Galatians 6:7).

6. Fourth step: as a Gentile and a tax collector

Someone who refuses to listen to the church is regarded as a non-Jew and a tax collector. Should we cut off all relationship and treat him as an outcast? "Me, I do not believe so."
Jesus was called the friend of tax collectors (Matthew 11:19) and twice recognized great faith in non-Jews (Matthew 8:10; Matthew 15:28).
Sometimes even the person who has been set aside is the one closest to the truth. Maurice thinks of Luther, who was excommunicated and whose message nevertheless seems to us more faithful to Scripture.
The church gathers those who confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior. Where two or three are gathered in his name, he is among them (Matthew 18:20), whether in an African forest, a Brazilian slum, a Paris hospital or the wealthy districts of a metropolis: "a Bible and a few brothers and sisters are enough to make a church."
The preacher shares his prayer for the difficult moments in the church: "Lord, it is your church. Take care of it. Lead me and lead us according to your will."
The person who has been sanctioned or who has drifted away must continue to be accompanied. God does not abandon his lost sheep, and he wants to use us as friends, co-workers and servants to make known his Gospel "of love, forgiveness and hope."

7. Forgive him, and take your time

"If your brother has sinned, forgive him and you will proclaim God's forgiveness." The exhortation may seem strong, but it is first of all the exhortation of Scripture.
Forgiveness takes time, sometimes a lot of it. Maurice thinks of Jacob and Esau: it took, "it seems to me," at least twenty years or so for these two brothers to meet again (Genesis 33).
We would like everything to be settled "with a snap of the fingers." That is not how Scripture shows things: "So let us be patient, full of love, full of understanding."
It is a difficult path, but an important one so that God's glory may be seen. "The Lord promises to be with us and to bless us. Let us keep moving forward."

Key Takeaways

The passage on discipline is framed by the lost sheep: God does not want a single one of these little ones to be lost.
The goal is not to punish but to bring about awareness. It is the Holy Spirit who convicts, even if he uses us.
We speak to the person first, never first to a third party: nothing should be said about someone without that person knowing.
Telling the church is not informing on someone: it is refusing the silence that protects evil.
Even when set aside, the person remains someone to accompany, and forgiveness, however slow, remains the horizon.

Personal Application

When someone hurts you, do you first go to him privately, or do you first talk about it with someone else?
Do you sometimes set yourself up as a judge of the faith of a brother or sister whose behavior bothers you?
Is there a situation around you that everyone knows about but no one dares to name?
Who around you has drifted away from the church and would need you to keep accompanying them?
What forgiveness are you waiting to see happen "with a snap of the fingers," when it needs time?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

What does "if your brother has sinned" mean in Matthew 18?

For Maurice, the brother is first of all a believer who also puts his trust in Jesus Christ, even if his behavior is not "in line." It can also be a brother in humanity who has not yet discovered all of God's demands or all of his grace. In both cases, you approach him with humility, love, patience and understanding.

Should you report a brother to the church according to Matthew 18?

"Tell it to the church" is not an invitation to inform on someone, which is often inspired by a motive contrary to morality. Maurice instead compares this saying to whistleblowing: breaking the silence when everyone knows but no one dares to speak. He points out that the text says "tell it to the church" and not "sanction," even though sanction is sometimes necessary.

What does it mean to treat someone "as a Gentile and a tax collector"?

Maurice does not believe this makes the person an outcast. Jesus was called the friend of tax collectors and recognized great faith in non-Jews. The person who has been set aside must continue to be accompanied, because God does not abandon his lost sheep and wants that person to experience God's forgiveness and that of their brothers and sisters.