Matthew 26: Jesus' Self-Control in Gethsemane

Introduction

"How are you doing with self-control?" That is the question John Huynh, preacher at St Stephen's Presbyterian in Surrey Hills (Melbourne), put to his church to close a nine-week series on the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Back from two weeks in Malaysia, he admits that self-control is the least glamorous fruit on the list. People write songs about love, they sing about joy to the world, but nobody sings about self-control. Yet it comes last for a reason: without it, every other fruit falls apart.

To understand it, the preacher looks to Jesus in Gethsemane and at his arrest (Matthew 26:36-56): a man who had all power at his disposal and said, "not what I desire, but what you desire."

Outline of the message

1. The fruit we forget

Among the nine qualities of the fruit of the Spirit, self-control is often the one missing from the conversation. Love, joy, peace, patience: we understand those. Self-control, we forget.
The simplest way to measure its importance is to think back to the last time things went wrong. What happened in that moment?
John gives his own example. On the flight home from Malaysia he was already tense: he was due to land at 5 a.m. and officiate a wedding at 1 p.m. the same day. A passenger in front of them spoke very rudely to them, and he muttered a few words back.
"I didn't swear," he clarifies. But as he boarded the plane, he said to his wife, "We're preaching on the fruit of the Spirit. I shouldn't have said anything. Where was the self-control?"

2. The guardian virtue of every fruit

Without self-control, the other qualities collapse. You can know God's love and want to love, but when hatred lurks and you lose control, what people see is not love, it is hatred.
The same goes for peace: facing hard circumstances, if you lose control of your own thoughts, peace disappears.
Lacking self-control is "shooting yourself in the foot." We hurt ourselves at the same time as we hurt others.
Love, the first of the fruits, unifies and shapes all the others. Self-control is "the guardian virtue": it protects them like a defensive wall that keeps everything from collapsing.
The question "How are you doing with self-control?" really means asking, "How are you doing at holding your life together?"

3. Sound judgment and inner strength

In our Bibles, "self-control" translates two different Greek words. The first is a compound word: "in" and "power." It is an inner strength, mastery over your emotions, your desires and your impulses, a war against sin.
Without it, we become exposed: "He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls" (Proverbs 25:28). The breach opens the door to mistakes and regrets.
The second word means being sober, sensible, exercising sound judgment: keeping to limits of moderation, refusing excess and addiction, telling good from evil. This is what Paul asks of Timothy: "be sober in all things" (2 Timothy 4:5).
Together, the two shades of meaning give a definition: self-control is sound judgment and inner strength. Judgment sees what is right; strength makes it possible to live it out.
Joseph is the example. Tempted by Potiphar's wife, he exercises sound judgment: "He has not kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?" Then, when she grabs his garment, he runs away: that is inner strength (Genesis 39:9-12).

4. Jesus, the God-man who holds back his power

Throughout the series, the church looked for the purest form of each fruit in God. But self-control is the only fruit with no equivalent in God. God has no need of it: he is not unstable like us, and he is not tempted by evil. "God is light, and in him is no darkness at all" (1 John 1:5).
With Jesus, everything changes. He who was in the form of God emptied himself and became like human beings (Philippians 2:6-7). No one will be able to say to God on judgment day, "You don't know what I went through." God will answer, "I know exactly what you felt, because I felt it too in my Son Jesus Christ."
We have a high priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses, one "who has been in all points tempted like we are, yet without sin" (Hebrews 4:15; see 2:18).
In the wilderness, when the devil said, "If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread" (Matthew 4:1-4), that was no temptation for us, but for him it was real, because he had the power to do it. He held back.
In Gethsemane, overwhelmed with sorrow, he could have said, "Father, this is too much, take me home." Instead he prayed that the Father's will be done. "That is self-control."
At the arrest, Peter loses control and cuts off the ear of the high priest's servant. Jesus, for his part, could have asked for more than twelve legions of angels, about 72,000 according to the preacher. He let himself be arrested.
On the cross, humiliated and mocked by the very people he came to save, he could have snapped his fingers and stopped it all. He stayed, like a lamb led to the slaughter (Isaiah 53:7). He held back his absolute power out of love, for you and for me.
Growing in the fruit of the Spirit means becoming like Christ. That is why the New Testament asks for self-control from everyone: older men, older women, younger women and younger men (Titus 2:2-6). "We all need it, young and old."

5. Self-control in your body

Our bodies age and we will receive a resurrection body, but our bodies matter to God, not just our souls. Being master of your body starts with giving in to no addiction, especially drunkenness, which is a sin in itself and leads to many others.
His children are reaching 18 and tell him about the parties where people test their limits. His advice: "Don't even try. Don't go near. Don't look for where the line is. Stay far away from it."
It also means refusing excess, whether laziness or gluttony. Malaysia, "a paradise for gluttony," was a good lesson. The opposite excess exists too: obsession with appearance and idolatry of the body. The watchword is moderation.
Finally, sexual immorality. Paul writes to believers: "Flee sexual immorality. [...] Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? [...] Therefore glorify God in your body" (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). The temptation is real, made to look normal by films, and even in the church people fall into the same sins as the world.
Together with his wife, John meets with couples who are dating. Their advice: "Don't take before marriage what belongs to the marriage bed." And to the question "How far can we go?", they answer without drawing a line where Scripture draws none: do with each other what you would do with your own brother or sister. Some couples in the church shared their first kiss on their wedding day.

6. Mastery of your desires, thoughts and emotions

When our inner self is not under control, everything else is undermined. Anxiety left unchecked steals peace: "I dug a big hole and jumped into it." Selfishness leaves little room for kindness. A wandering gaze compromises holiness and faithfulness. Rising anger produces outbursts far from gentleness.
Even when anger seems justified, our reaction remains our responsibility. Very often, the way I react to a sin committed against me becomes a sin in itself.
Hence Paul's call to fill our minds with whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and of good report (Philippians 4:8), instead of letting evil settle in and grow.
We must not overlook the work of Satan: to make every Christian fall, to dishonor Christ through our behavior, to sow chaos in our lives, our homes and the church. He pushes us toward resentment, division and pride.
Who can master all of this? That is why it is called the fruit of the Spirit: it is God's Spirit who produces it in our hearts so that we become like Christ.
The preacher quotes a poem by Portia Nelson. I walk down the street, there is a hole, I fall in, it isn't my fault (the victim). I pretend not to see it and fall in again (denial). I see it, I fall in anyway, it is my fault, and I climb out right away (responsibility). I walk around it (flirting with danger). Finally: "I take a different street." "That is self-control": running away, like Joseph.

7. Mastery of your words and actions

The way we speak and react every day, and not just on Sunday, reflects Christ. "I'm not saying this to be a burden, but because it is a privilege": through your words and actions, you reflect the King of the universe. That is how the Roman world was won over by Christians.
First principle: pray before you decide. Whether the decisions are small or big, hand them to the Lord and wait for him.
Second principle: think before you speak. Being quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19) prevents many conflicts. John never sends a long email, or an email of criticism, or one that might sound angry: if it gets too long, he deletes it and picks up the phone, or meets the person face to face.
Third principle: think before you act. "Will my actions honor Christ?"
Closing the series, the preacher shares that God has often put the right experience in his path at the right time to show him where he had fallen. Reading Galatians 5 does not produce the fruit automatically: God often works through hard situations, and he works all things together for good for those who love him (Romans 8:28).
He returns to the image of the sail: it is up to us to raise the sails, that is our responsibility; the wind of the Spirit blows behind us and carries us where God wants.

Key takeaways

Self-control is the guardian virtue: without it, love, peace, patience and all the other fruits collapse.
It combines two things: sound judgment to tell good from evil and inner strength to live it out, like Joseph who ran away.
Jesus, tempted as we are, held back his power in the wilderness, in Gethsemane, at his arrest and on the cross, out of love for us.
Self-control touches your body, your desires, your thoughts, your emotions, your words and your actions.
It is a fruit of the Spirit: God produces it in you, often through hard situations.

Personal application

Think back to your last regrettable reaction: which other fruit of the Spirit suffered from your lack of self-control?
Is there an area where you are "testing the limit" instead of staying far from temptation?
In Portia Nelson's poem, where are you with your own "hole in the street": denial, responsibility, or have you already taken a different street?
Which decision this week do you need to hand over to the Lord in prayer before making it?
Is there a message or an email you would be better off replacing with a call or a meeting?

Verses cited

Frequently asked questions

Why is self-control the last fruit of the Spirit?

For John, self-control is the guardian virtue. Love gives shape to all the fruits, but self-control protects them like a wall. Without it, love turns into hatred, peace disappears, and we hurt ourselves while hurting others.

Why didn't Jesus call the twelve legions of angels?

Jesus could have asked his Father for more than twelve legions of angels, about 72,000 according to the preacher. He held back his power so that the Scriptures would be fulfilled, and he stayed on the cross out of love for us. This is the summit of self-control.

How can I grow in self-control day to day?

John offers three principles: pray before deciding, think before speaking, think before acting. Above all, he reminds us that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit: it is God's Spirit who produces it in us to make us like Christ.