Proverbs 11: Gratitude, a Practice You Can Learn

Introduction

One morning, running late as usual, Joe Sinclair pulls over on a narrow street to let a car through. The driver passes. Not a single wave. "How would you feel in that situation?" she asks the congregation. Should she toot the horn twice, or roll down the window and give a royal wave to make the other driver feel guilty? "Just a little wave of thanks: is that too much to ask?"

It is with this everyday scene, the small courtesy wave that Tasmanian drivers know well, that Joe Sinclair opens a new series at Hobart Baptist Church in Tasmania (Australia): "The Gratitude Effect." Over several weeks, different members of the church, including professionals in social work and psychology, will share their perspective on gratitude.

Joe Sinclair works in social work, in a hospital setting. She says up front, "I'm not an expert," and begins by saying how thankful she is to be listened to. The text read that morning is Proverbs 11:24-25: whoever gives generously becomes richer, and whoever waters others will be watered himself.

Message Outline

1. Is a Little Thank-You Wave Too Much to Ask?

On a street narrowed by parked cars, one car often has to stop to let the other through. The driver who passes briefly lifts a hand from the steering wheel: that is the courtesy wave.
That morning, Joe Sinclair chooses to stop despite being in a hurry. No hand goes up. Should she have watched for a late wave behind tinted glass? "It was probably one of the neighbors, so it's worth thinking about future relationships."
This is the question for the whole series: how much does gratitude matter, and why reflect on it together as a church community?
Gratitude is a fashionable idea today, picked up by popular psychology in the pursuit of happiness: taking care of yourself, changing your mindset, cultivating positive emotions. Joe Sinclair smiles: it was simply the introduction to her daughter's gratitude coloring book.

2. A Gratitude Journal to See Your Day Differently

Back at university to study social work, she was encouraged to take care of herself in view of the demands of this helping profession. During her first placement, she started a gratitude journal: every evening, at least three things she was thankful for.
Some days it was hard to find anything. But the more she practiced, the more she looked forward to that moment, and the more she saw its effect. "It's really hard not to smile when you think of something you're thankful for, however small."
Her examples are modest: the taste of fresh snow peas from the garden, a funny story told by someone in the community, a daisy growing in a crack in the pavement, an unexpected encounter with a neighbor, the joyful sound of frogs as she falls asleep.
This practice gave her a more thoughtful approach to her days and her work. Looking back with gratitude, even on just the day that has passed, brings out opportunities to grow and learn, and "sets you up well for the future."
A person in the church who works in a Christian school has been trained to begin the school day with a time of gratitude: the students are then more engaged and ready to learn.

3. Paul and a Young Church Awaiting Christ's Return

The apostle Paul also understood the role of gratitude in sustaining a young community of faith that was preparing for the future and waiting for Christ's return.
He asks the Thessalonians to be good to one another, alert and sober. Then he writes: "Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
Giving thanks is therefore not an option for easy days: it is God's will, and it is practiced in prayer as well as in joy.

4. Gratitude Is Learned and Grows

"Gratitude can look different depending on the environment we grew up in. But I believe it's something that is learned and that grows."
As a child, she learned to say please and thank you, especially to adults. Faced with a gift, it did not matter what she thought of a great-aunt's hand-knitted sweater: she had to say thank you, and say it as if she meant it.
In other families, she discovered prayer before meals, which was not practiced at home. She learned to appreciate it: in her own household it has become both an expected habit and a short moment of reflection.
Hiking and camping taught her to be thankful for what she took for granted: flush toilets, hot water, dry socks, a soft mattress, fresh food. And to marvel at nature in its wildest forms.
Living abroad, her family received hospitality from the local people. After the birth of her second child, far from her relatives, she was deeply touched by the care of her church and her moms' group, especially the meals brought by other families. These gestures led her to do the same: a way of passing her gratitude on into the lives of others.
"I believe that living a life of gratitude is good for me personally, and it's something God is calling me to practice." She adds that a thankful heart helps her step back and pulls her out of the feeling that everything is owed to her, or even out of self-pity.

5. Giving Thanks in the Midst of Hardship

Gratitude has helped her make sense of her medical experiences. As a patient, she has known care in which she did not feel listened to or did not receive information in time, and care that was the complete opposite. "I'm truly thankful for those contrasts": they prepare her to face future health problems.
This is one of the reasons that led her to social work, a field in which she can use the values and gifts God saw fit to entrust to her. The hardships she has lived through have made her a more empathetic professional, "and for that, I'm truly thankful."
Being thankful in suffering seems "completely countercultural," in a world where everyone avoids pain whenever they can. Yet Paul does not ask us to look for an emergency exit: he invites us to lean into it. "Not only this, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope: and hope doesn't disappoint us" (Romans 5:3-5).
James says the same thing: "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance" (James 1:2-3).
Joe Sinclair sets a clear limit: this idea must not be used to justify injustice or persecution. But she is speaking of a heart that looks for hope and opportunity in the midst of despair, a way of building resilience in difficult times.

6. Gratitude Is Also a Social Matter

Back to the courtesy wave, with humor: do you have to wave every time you change lanes? Is a raised finger from the wheel worth a whole hand? Do you have to wave back at the other driver? "My husband has very strong opinions on that."
There are social expectations: gratitude has to be genuine and at the right level. In the thank-you speeches of politicians, celebrities or athletes, she is drawn to those who acknowledge that their success is the fruit of many people's work and of grace received, rather than of their own efforts alone.
Conversely, have you ever felt that knot in your stomach or that indignation when what you did for someone went unappreciated? "A simple thank-you would have been enough."
Parents and caregivers, paid or unpaid, know this ongoing work, important and rarely thanked. In the hospital, even paid caregivers can wear out if they never receive the smallest word of thanks. Patients are often unable to give it, but a small gesture from a colleague or a family member can have a profound effect on a person and on an entire work culture.

7. A Church That Gives Thanks in Grief and Waiting

Gratitude is also good for the church community as it lives with grief and hardship: the departure of members of the church family, and the pain and uncertainty of change and of waiting for new leadership.
"More than ever, we need to come to God with a heart ready to give thanks": for who we are, for what we have, and for the new thing that is being born.
Paul asks the Colossians to do everything in the name of Jesus in a spirit of thankfulness: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful." "Whatever you do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him" (Colossians 3:15-17).
She closes with a very concrete prayer of thanks: for the pile of dirty laundry, a sign that she has more than one piece of clothing and a house full of people she loves; for her silver hair, a sign of years of life made possible by medicine, clean water and education, and "my superpower," because it sometimes makes her invisible; for the scars on her face, her shins and her belly; for the pain in her knees, the fruit of long hours on beautiful trails of creation, "and sometimes, in those places, I fall to my knees."
She gives thanks also for every face in the congregation and those following online, for words of encouragement, for services seen and unseen, for the creative solutions found in the church, "and above all, for quiet, faithful prayer."
"I believe we were created to be in relationship with one another and with God, and gratitude is an expression of that relationship." She returns to Proverbs 11: giving generously and often, gratitude included, means receiving more in return.

Key Takeaways

Gratitude is not first a temperament: it is learned and grows, through upbringing, through the example of others and through regular practice.
Giving thanks in all circumstances is the will of God in Christ Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:18), not just a wellness technique.
In hardship, gratitude does not deny pain or injustice: it looks for the hope that God brings to birth through perseverance.
Gratitude is social: a small thank-you can lift up a worn-out person and transform a work or church culture.
We are created for relationship with God and with others, and gratitude expresses that relationship.

Personal Application

If you are going through a difficulty today, or if you have gone through one, is there a glimmer of hope or a reason for gratitude in that place?
What brings you joy or comfort? Can you name that thing or that person and give thanks for them?
How can you express your gratitude this week to the person you just identified?
Which people around you do you take for granted? And your relationship with God, do you take it for granted?
Could you, for one week, write down every evening three things you are thankful for, even very small ones?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

Can gratitude be learned?

For Joe Sinclair, yes. It varies depending on the environment you grew up in, but it can be learned and developed. She learned it through upbringing, through other families who gave thanks before meals, through hiking and camping, and through a journal in which she wrote down at least three reasons for gratitude every evening.

How can you be thankful in the midst of suffering?

Joe Sinclair acknowledges that the idea seems very countercultural. With Romans 5:3-5 and James 1:2-4, she reminds us that Paul does not invite us to flee suffering but to lean into it, because it produces perseverance, character and hope. This never justifies injustice, but it looks for hope in the heart of distress.

Why does gratitude matter for the church too?

Gratitude is social: a small word of thanks can change a person and an entire work culture. For a church going through grief and waiting for new leadership, Joe Sinclair invites us to come to God with a heart ready to give thanks, as Paul asks in Colossians 3:15-17.