Matthew 5: Anger, From Contempt to Reconciliation

Introduction

Everyone knows what anger feels like. David Pothier, pastor at la Chapelle in Montréal, takes it on head-on in his series on the Sermon on the Mount, which he calls "the greatest speech in the world." If you want to know how to be a disciple of Jesus, he says, there are only three chapters to read: Matthew 5 to 7.

After the Beatitudes, the call to be the salt of the earth and the light of the world, and a message on the heart, the series reaches Matthew 5:20. There Jesus asks that his disciples' righteousness surpass that of the scribes and Pharisees, and he gives six situations in life where this should show. The first, in Matthew 5:21-26, is about anger.

Today's subject comes down to two words: anger management. Jesus doesn't ask us never to get angry. He teaches us to handle it, and he gives a remedy: reconciliation.

Outline of the Message

1. A Righteousness That Goes Deeper Than Checked Boxes

Jesus begins by quoting the sixth commandment: "You shall not murder;" and "Whoever shall murder shall be in danger of the judgment." So far, nothing new for his listeners.
The Pharisees' problem was a surface-level righteousness that looked only at behavior and not at the heart. "I'm not a murderer, box checked, I'm righteous. I haven't committed adultery, box checked, I'm righteous."
Then Jesus adds: "everyone who is angry with his brother without a cause will be in danger of the judgment" (Matthew 5:22).
The pastor quotes psychologist Jordan Peterson: the most dangerous people are the ones who think they can't be dangerous.

2. Letting It Out, Holding It In, or Pushing It Down

Everyone struggles with anger, but not in the same way.
Some let it out: harsh words, insults, a raised voice, a slammed door, a walkout from a meeting, a thrown pen. These are often people who like to lead, the ones who say, "You're the problem." In the Bible, that's Esau, so angry at his brother Jacob that he wanted to kill him.
Others hold it in. They don't blow up on the surface, but they become frustrated, resentful and critical, and they brood. These are often perfectionists: "There shouldn't be any problem, everything should be perfect." In the Bible, that's the older son in the parable, who refuses to go into the house to celebrate his brother's return.
Still others push it down, from the conscious mind into the unconscious. These are often people who hate confrontation and conflict. They are angry without even knowing it.
David Pothier recognizes himself in all three. He processes a lot of his emotions through anger, and he compares himself to Bruce Banner, the Incredible Hulk. The ones who paid the price were not the church members on Sunday, but his wife and children.
"By God's grace, I'm no longer who I used to be." He still has a way to go, but he offers a word of hope: he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6).

3. Is Getting Angry a Sin?

Not necessarily. Anger is an emotion, a spontaneous feeling that floods the mind and body when our will is thwarted.
Jesus got angry at the Pharisees who didn't want him to heal a man on the Sabbath, at his disciples who kept little children from coming to him, and at the merchants who had turned the temple into a den of robbers.
Jesus' anger was righteous anger, and it had three marks: it is aimed at sin, not at the sinner; it is centered on God and his kingdom, not on me and my kingdom; it is rooted in love and expressed with self-control. Jesus never lost control, and he always sought to lead people to repentance.
There is God's anger and there is human anger. And James says it plainly: the anger of man doesn't produce the righteousness of God (James 1:20).
Let's be honest: when we get angry, it is rarely righteous anger. It targets people rather than sin, it serves our little kingdom rather than his, and it is rooted in ego rather than in love.

4. Mismanaged Anger Leads to Contempt

"Raca" is an Aramaic word, the language of Jesus, meaning "empty head." According to some commentators, the word imitates the sound of clearing your throat to spit on the ground as a sign of contempt. "Fool" translates the Greek moros.
What the pastor understood while studying the text: mismanaged anger always leads to contempt. When anger rises, you have a split second to decide whether it will slide toward contempt or stay anger.
Contempt reduces a person to what they did. We see them as less human, less important than we are, and we attack their character. Contempt justifies anger, then makes it bigger.
It is a devastating weapon because every human being has a vital need to belong to a group. The pastor quotes C. S. Lewis: for all people at certain moments of their lives, and for some at every moment, from childhood to old age, the desire to be inside the circle and the fear of being shut out of it are among the most important things. To show contempt for someone is to shut them out: "You're no longer part of my group."
We swim in an ocean of contempt: drivers and cyclists, left and right, poor and rich, city dwellers and suburbanites, immigrants and non-immigrants, university graduates and non-graduates. A disciple of Jesus decides not to fall into this trap and not to label a person because of what they did.

5. Anger Can Spiral

Anger becomes contempt, contempt becomes insult, insult becomes resentment, resentment becomes hatred, and hatred often becomes murder. The root of murder and violence is the same: mismanaged anger. That is why John writes that whoever hates his brother is a murderer (1 John 3:15).
If you think you're righteous because you've never killed anyone, you're no better than the Pharisees.
In the history of the Church, anger is counted among the deadly sins. "Capital" comes from the Latin caput, the head: it is a sin that leads to other sins. That is why James urges us to be slow to anger (James 1:19).
Have you noticed what happens inside you when you scroll through social media and read the comments? Psychologists talk about the vicious circle of anger and bitterness, a cycle that turns a passing hurt into lasting hostility. Anger has become an economic force: algorithms favor it, because angry people click more, share more and stay online longer.
After two years of pandemic spent with our faces in our screens, the left began to despise the right and the right the left. Societies, families, friendships and even marriages fractured. The pastor tells of meeting a man who had separated from his wife because they disagreed about the vaccine. "He's no worse than you or me. It's the same anger."
Behind the tech giants, there is also something spiritual: an enemy who wants to make us angry in order to divide and destroy.

6. Giving Free Rein to Anger Gives the Devil a Foothold

Whoever says "fool" will be in danger of the fire of Gehenna. Gehenna was a valley near Jerusalem that everyone knew. In the Old Testament, kings had sacrificed children there to foreign gods. In Jesus' time, it was a dump where the city's garbage burned day and night. It had become the image of present and future judgment.
The pastor believes Jesus is speaking of both. There is a difference between getting angry and being an angry person: Jesus got angry, but he was not an angry man. Anger can affect your eternal destiny, and it can also open the gates of hell in your life.
Paul writes: "Be angry, and don't sin." Don't let the sun go down on your wrath, and don't give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:26-27). You can be angry without sinning, but you have to settle it today, as soon as possible.
One way to open that door is to vent. For years, the pastor believed he needed to, until he understood that the tongue is a fire, set on fire by Gehenna (James 3:6). Most of the time, venting makes you sin more: more contempt, more anger, more judgment. The only person to confide in is a mature one, able to say: "No, you can't say that."

7. Jesus' Remedy: Reconciliation

Jesus knows we will get angry and that our anger will sometimes slide into contempt, insult or bitterness. He doesn't wait for us to be perfect. He has provided an antidote: reconciliation. He gives two illustrations.
With a brother, meaning another disciple: "If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24). Jesus is preaching in Galilee, about a hundred kilometers from Jerusalem. Leaving your offering to go settle a conflict meant making the round trip. With this exaggeration, Jesus shows that reconciliation is serious and must be a priority.
Jesus doesn't just say "if you have something against someone," but "if your brother has anything against you." Your relationship with God is affected by your relationships with others. If things aren't going well with the Lord, one possible reason is that you aren't at peace with someone.
And what if the other person refuses? That doesn't stop you from coming back into God's house. The question is: are you seeking reconciliation? You can own your part sincerely, believe you're only 5% at fault against 95% for the other person, and still get slapped in the face. Yet Jesus says this is your priority.
With an adversary who is not a believer: "Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are with him on the way" (Matthew 5:25). Jesus doesn't use the word reconciliation here. With a brother, the goal is always reconciliation, because two people who obey Jesus move toward each other. With someone who doesn't share our values, it isn't always possible, but we look for an agreement and don't let the situation rot. We tell ourselves time will fix things, but most of the time, it makes them worse.
What the two examples have in common: the disciple of Jesus takes the initiative, and does it quickly.
Anger has a price, and it is our loved ones who pay it. Every week the pastor sees women who make their husbands pay for what an attacker did to them twenty years earlier, and men who make their wives and children pay for what their father did to them. Anger destroys relationships, affects your relationship with God, damages physical and emotional health, and leads to the disintegration of the person.
Why is it so hard to let go? The pastor reads an author who describes anger as the most pleasant of the deadly sins: licking your wounds, savoring old grudges, relishing the confrontation to come. A king's feast, except that what you devour is yourself: "the skeleton at the feast is you." Anger lies. It says, "You are strong," while it often hides sadness and weakness. It gives an adrenaline rush and becomes an addiction.
The pastor tells with humor how his son, when little, had temper tantrums made worse by allergies. His mother had advised him to go take a shower when he felt anger rising. A few days later, playing outside with his friends, the child was shouting: "Stop, you're making me angry! Mom said that when I'm angry, I have to go take a shower!"
Psychology speaks of childhood trauma, present suffering, hunger or fatigue; people also speak of spiritual warfare. All of that can be true. But Jesus points to a deeper cause: anger comes from the heart, from the same place as murders and adulteries (Matthew 15:19). Fighting only the anger is treating the symptom instead of the disease.
You can't change your own heart; only God changes hearts. Your part is to obey Jesus' word: go and be reconciled. When you obey, you open the door to the Holy Spirit and God's power so that he changes your heart. It takes discernment, wisdom, prayer and counsel to choose the right moment. But if you refuse, you keep God from doing his work in you.

Key Takeaways

Getting angry is not necessarily a sin. It all depends on what you do with it: Jesus' anger is aimed at sin, serves God's kingdom and stays rooted in love.
Mismanaged anger slides toward contempt, which reduces the other person to what they did and shuts them out.
Left unchecked, anger degenerates into hatred and gives the devil a foothold. It must be settled before the sun goes down.
Jesus' remedy is reconciliation: take the initiative, and do it fast.
Only God changes the heart, but obedience opens the door to the Holy Spirit's work.

Personal Application

Do you tend to let it out, hold it in or push it down: how does your anger show itself, and who pays the price around you?
In your last outburst, did you slide into contempt? Did you reduce someone to what they had done?
What is feeding your anger right now: social media, the comments, the need to vent?
Who is the person you need to be reconciled with, the one who probably has something against you?
What first concrete step can you take this week: a message, a call, a meeting to close the distance?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

Is getting angry a sin?

Not necessarily. For David Pothier, anger is an emotion, and Jesus himself got angry. It all depends on what you do with it. Jesus' anger was righteous: aimed at sin and not at the sinner, turned toward God's kingdom, rooted in love and expressed with self-control. Once anger slides into contempt, sin is already there.

What does "raca" mean in Matthew 5:22?

Raca is an Aramaic word, the language Jesus spoke, that literally means "empty head." According to some commentators, it imitates the sound of clearing your throat to spit on the ground as a sign of contempt. The other word, "fool," translates the Greek moros. In both cases, Jesus is targeting contempt for a person.

What if the other person refuses to be reconciled?

That doesn't stop you from coming back into God's house or from presenting your offering. The question is whether you are sincerely seeking reconciliation. David Pothier acknowledges that you can own your faults sincerely and still get slapped in the face. With a brother, the goal is always reconciliation. With an adversary who is not a believer, Jesus asks you to come to an agreement with him quickly.