Pride or Humility?

Introduction: No One Is Immune to Pride

There are subjects we'd rather skip past quickly. Pride is one of them. The moment a preacher opens his mouth about it, our first reflex is to think of someone else: a brother, a coworker, a neighbor. "Ah, that message, someone else really needs to hear it."

The problem is that this message is for you. And it's for me. As David Pothier reminds us in this sermon at the Chapelle Mile End (Nouvelle Vie), pride is a sin common to every human being. We are all proud. The only question is whether you're the kind of proud person who wallows in his pride, or the kind who's on a quest for humility.

In Mark 10:32-45, Jesus tackles the question head on. He has just announced his death to his disciples, and James and John come to him asking for the best seats in his kingdom. A self-centered request, oblivious to their Master's suffering. But Jesus doesn't send them away. He engages the conversation to unmask the pride hiding in their hearts. That morning, he wants to do the same thing with yours.

Outline of the message

1. Pride unmasked

Augustine said it: pride is the mother of all sins. It wears many masks. Some are easy to spot, others far more subtle.

The obvious masks: boasting ("I ran ten kilometers this morning"), arrogance, vanity (the guy taking a selfie in front of the gym mirror), the stubbornness of having an opinion on everything and wanting to give it without being asked, interrupting others, self-centeredness, greed, and the self-sufficiency of the person who calls himself self-made, needing no one.

The subtler masks: comparison (we look at those who are doing better than us to eat ourselves up with jealousy, or at those doing worse to feel superior), self-deprecation (which isn't humility but a form of pride that fishes for compliments), self-pity ("why me?"), shyness (sometimes simply the fear of others' opinion), and false humility that refuses a compliment or a gift just to look modest.

The worst mask of all is spiritual pride. It's the pride of the Pharisees. The Christian who has read a lot, grown a lot, and ends up thinking that no church is good enough anymore, no pastor is solid enough, that only his own theology stands firm. He disconnects from the body of Christ, cultivates bitterness, magnifies other people's sin, and becomes blind to his own. One of the greatest challenges of Christian maturity is to stop being the prodigal son without becoming the elder brother.

Behind every action, behind every decision, if you peel the onion all the way down, there are only two possible answers: either you do it for your own glory, or you do it for his.

2. Greatness redefined

What's fascinating about this text is that Jesus doesn't rebuke James and John for wanting to be great. He redefines what "great" means.

"Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all." (Mark 10:43-44)

Back then, in ancient Greece, humility wasn't a virtue. At best people talked about modesty, meaning knowing how to hide your pride. Today, David Pothier says, we're seeing a return to that world. Look at social media: pride is glorified there, normalized, presented as the key to success. Society as a whole is becoming more narcissistic. But in the kingdom of Jesus, the greatest are those who humble themselves. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled; whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

3. Pride disciplined

Jesus doesn't say "make your pride disappear." Until we stand in his glorious presence, every one of us will have a battle to fight. But you need to discipline your pride, or it will eventually destroy your spiritual life.

First discipline: become a servant. Notice the nuance. Serving is something you do when you feel like it. Being a servant is who you are, even when you don't feel like it. Are you a servant in your home, your marriage, your work, your neighborhood, your church? Or are you waiting to be served?

Second discipline: refuse to feel sorry for yourself. David Pothier shares his own story here. For a large part of his life, he lived in self-pity without realizing it. He thought he was simply extra sensitive; he was mostly extra proud. "When you lack humility, you're always getting hurt."

Self-pity is an addiction. The more you practice it, the more you want to practice it. You find a false comfort in it. You think it makes you humble when really it inflates your ego, because it's centered on you, you, you. Every time you feel sorry for yourself, it's like pouring a drop of pride into your vessel. One drop doesn't change anything, but drop after drop, your vessel fills up, and you become wounded more and more easily.

Here's the good news: it works the other way too. Every time you take a wound and bring it to God instead of dwelling on it, "Lord, this hurts, but I give it to you, you are my comforter, you are my healer," you pour a drop of humility. And one day, looking back, you realize that what people say no longer wounds you the way it used to.

Here's an important nuance: there's a difference between being a victim of something (an injustice, an abuse, a real trauma) and turning yourself into a victim. Denying what was done to you is wrong. But staying flat on the mat feeling sorry for yourself solves nothing. You aren't called to self-pity, you're called to be a victor over your sufferings, your wounds, the injustices you've endured. Choose. You aren't anyone's victim. Jesus himself wasn't a victim at the cross: he chose to go there.

We think we help people by boosting their ego. That's false. You build someone's esteem by boosting their humility, not their pride.

4. Greatness demonstrated

The high point of the message is Jesus himself. He demonstrated the greatest greatness in history by demonstrating the greatest humility in history.

We see his humility in his words, in his simplicity, in his welcome of those no one else welcomed, in his service (he washes his disciples' feet), in his submission to the Father, and above all in his incarnation. He who was equal with God did not cling to his rights. He lowered himself, he humbled himself, he became a man. The creator identified with his creature. The eternal one let himself be locked into time. The omnipresent one confined himself to one place at a time. The immortal one experienced hunger, thirst, cold, loneliness. The one who heard the angels sing "holy, holy, holy" heard the crowd shout "crucify him." Willingly. For his enemies.

As David Pothier puts it, one of the things that proves Christianity isn't a human invention is exactly this: no human being would be capable of inventing a religion where the most humble one is king. Christianity doesn't come from below, it comes from above. It isn't what we do to reach God, it's what God did to come and find us.

Key Takeaways

• Everyone is proud. The only real question is whether you're on a quest for humility or not.
• Pride wears obvious masks and subtle masks. Boasting, arrogance, and vanity are easy to see; comparison, self-deprecation, self-pity, and false humility are much less so.
• Spiritual pride is the most dangerous, because once you've fallen into it, you can no longer see it.
• In the kingdom of God, greatness comes through humbling yourself. Being a servant isn't what you do, it's who you are.
• Refusing self-pity is a concrete discipline of humility. Every wound handed over to God is a drop of humility poured into your vessel.
• Jesus's humility is the foundation of our forgiveness. Without his humbling, no cross; without the cross, no forgiveness.

Personal Application

Take a few minutes to ask yourself these questions honestly before God:

1. Under which mask does my pride most often hide: boasting, comparison, self-deprecation, self-pity, shyness, false humility, spiritual pride?
2. Am I becoming the "elder brother," the one who judges other people's sin without seeing his own?
3. In my home, my work, my church, do I serve when I feel like it, or am I a servant?
4. What recent wound am I dwelling on instead of laying it before God?
5. If I answer David Pothier's ten-question test (see below), what surfaces?

The little ten-question test

One point per "yes." David Pothier suggests doing this exercise honestly.

1. Do you crave a lot of attention?
2. Do you become jealous or critical of people who succeed?
3. Do you always have to win (even against your three-year-old)?
4. Do you have habits of lying?
5. Do you struggle to admit mistakes you've made?
6. Are you in conflict with several people at the same time?
7. Are you deeply offended when made to wait?
8. Are you deeply offended when people don't honor their commitments?
9. Do you act as though things are owed to you rather than with gratitude?
10. Are you convinced you're a good person, morally above average?

David Pothier's verdict: if you scored between 1 and 10, you're proud. If you scored 0, you're really proud, and you need to repent right now.

Verses Cited

• Mark 10:32-45 · the main text of the sermon
• James 4:6 · "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble"
• Proverbs 6:16-19 · the seven things the Lord hates, starting with haughty eyes
• Isaiah 66:2 · "This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit"
• Philippians 2:5-11 · the humbling and exaltation of Christ

FAQ

Is it wrong to want to be "great"?

No. Jesus doesn't rebuke James and John for wanting to be great, he redefines what "great" means. In the kingdom of God, greatness comes through service and humbling yourself, not through domination.

What's the difference between humility and self-deprecation?

Self-deprecation ("I'm worthless, I'm no good") isn't humility, it's a form of pride that fishes for compliments and stays centered on self. Humility is receiving a compliment and giving the glory back to God.

How can you recognize spiritual pride?

A few signs: no church or pastor seems good enough for you anymore, you clearly see other people's sin but not your own, you disconnect from the body of Christ, you cultivate bitterness, and you judge easily. It's the most dangerous kind of pride because it blinds the person suffering from it.