Grant Me the Grace to Love You: The Prayer That Transforms

Introduction

On the first evening of the "Battle of the Image" prayer camp at Impact Centre Chrétien Montréal, Pastor Tonny Tshibangu, senior pastor and overseer of the churches in Ontario and the United States, does not preach a message cut into points. He leads a long night vigil where teaching and prayer blend together. One thread runs through the whole evening: God wants to fill you before he leads you, and the first trace of his image in you is love.

In the depth of the night, he tells of a retreat where a single sentence rose from his lips for hours: "Grant me the grace to love you." For him, Ephesians 5:18 sets the tone: "...but be filled with the Spirit." If you feel your prayers are going in circles, this message is for you.

Message Outline

1. Filled Before Being Led

• Pastor Tshibangu opens in prayer: "You lead those you fill. First you fill us, and then you lead us."
• He builds on Luke 4:1: Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, is then led by the Spirit into the wilderness. "Before being led, there is fullness," he says, and "before doing, there is first being."
• He reminds us that the upper room is not first of all a place, but the place of desire.
• With Saul, he shows what the Spirit does: "...and you will be turned into another man" (1 Samuel 10:6). And with David, a man after God's heart (Acts 13:22), he concludes: "When you please a heart, you end up transforming a nation."
• He calls us to leave "the prayer of the religious": God wants someone who enters into relationship with him, like a husband with his wife.

2. The Heart First, Deliverance Next

• How do you know you are filled? Fear, unfaithfulness, anger, hatred and doubt retreat.
• "I am not talking first about an outward deliverance," he clarifies, but about a work from the inside. He recalls the spirit that returns and finds the house empty (Matthew 12:43-45): do not seek deliverance first without letting God fill you.
• He speaks of the "evil treasures" of the heart: envy, jealousy, ego. "The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings out that which is good" (Luke 6:45). For him, "we will not start by casting out demons before the evil treasures come out."
• He cites Matthew 15:13: every plant that the Father has not planted will be uprooted. He names bitterness, lying, the love of money, and the love of one's own life that keeps you from going on mission.

3. The Battle of the Image

• Jacob wrestled with God (Genesis 32). People often say it was for the blessing, but for Pastor Tshibangu, "the best of blessings is transformation": from Jacob the manipulator to Israel.
• The eyes of the Lord search for those whose hearts are fully his (2 Chronicles 16:9). "You have to be a man after God's heart to fulfill God's purposes."
• He calls this "the cry of the image": asking God not to let you reflect anyone other than him. "The difference between the cry and prayer: prayer is the mouth. The cry is the heart."
• "One of the first characteristics of his image is his love." You are recognized first by that love, and it shows in the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22): where there is no joy, no peace, no patience, he says, "that is not him."

4. Sincerity and Humility in Prayer

• "The danger of a lack of humility is believing you have arrived when you have not arrived." Paul himself said he had not yet reached perfection (Philippians 3:12-13).
• Relaying a teaching from Apostle Yvan Castanou, he explains that many are not continually filled with the Spirit because of a lack of sincerity of heart: you end up "putting on an act in prayer."
• He warns against prayers that go out to attack when the Spirit has not asked for it: "there is retaliation." He cites, from a book by Apostle Yvan, the case of a sister who had joined a deliverance prayer and who afterwards suffered in her throat from the very affliction of the person being prayed for.
• God looks at the heart, not at the abundance of words (Matthew 6:7).

5. "Grant Me the Grace to Love You"

• At the end of the year, Pastor Tshibangu goes on a three-day hotel retreat to seek God for 2026. On the first day, he sleeps. He then remembers a word from Apostle Yvan: sleeping the first day can happen, but sleeping all three days, "that is a problem."
• He compares prayer without the Spirit to a car that wants to go far without fuel: "Fill up the tank."
• On the third night, on his knees, he weeps for more than two hours. One sentence keeps coming back: "Grant me the grace to love you," a prayer learned from his spiritual father.
• "You cannot love God because you want to love God. You cannot love God because you heard a teaching." We come to love him when we have raised a cry.
• This kind of prayer, he says, moves you "from a self-centered person to a Christ-centered person," until Christ is formed in you (Galatians 4:19).
• "It is one of the most powerful prayers you can pray." Prayed with perseverance, it releases the grace of which God said to Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

6. Seek His Face Before His Hands

• While people pray, some are waiting on their own concern, marriage for example. The preacher answers: when God finds a whole heart, he even gives what was not asked. "Also delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4).
• He also connects Malachi 3:11 to the one who puts God first, even in his finances.
• "Lord, I do not want to miss a season, a new season that you are launching, by staying in an old version." He invites each person to refuse the old version of themselves.
• "Keep your heart with all diligence" (Proverbs 4:23): for him, this depends on love. And it is "the love of Christ" that constrains us (2 Corinthians 5:14) to forgive and to let go of conflicts.

7. Praying for the Foundations to Be Shaken

• The evening ends in prayer. Like Paul and Silas, who sang in prison (Acts 16:25-26), he calls us to pray that the foundations of the prison be shaken: sickness, barrenness, unemployment.
• He proclaims Jeremiah 30:16: "all those who devour you will be devoured," and Isaiah 42:22 about the people robbed and plundered, to pray for restitution.
• He announces the theme for the next day: contemplation.

Key Takeaways

• God leads those he fills: the fullness of the Spirit comes before being led, and being before doing.
• The transformation of the heart comes before deliverance: the evil treasures must come out so that the house does not stay empty.
• The first characteristic of the image of Christ in you is love.
• We do not love God by a mere decision or because we heard a teaching, but by crying out to him: "Grant me the grace to love you."
• Without sincerity and humility, prayer becomes an act.

Personal Application

1. In your prayer life, are you first seeking to be led, or first to be filled?
2. Which "evil treasure" (bitterness, jealousy, love of money, ego) does God want to remove from your heart this week?
3. When was the last time you simply took time to sit at God's feet without a list of requests?
4. Will you dare to pray every day this week: "Lord, grant me the grace to love you"?
5. Is there a conflict that the love of Christ urges you to let go of today?

Verses Cited

• Ephesians 5:18
• Luke 4:1
• 1 Samuel 10:6
• Acts 13:22
• Matthew 12:43-45
• Luke 6:45
• Matthew 15:13
• Genesis 32
• 2 Chronicles 16:9
• Galatians 5:22
• Philippians 3:12-13
• Matthew 6:7
• Galatians 4:19
• 2 Corinthians 12:9
• Psalm 37:4
• Malachi 3:11
• Proverbs 4:23
• 2 Corinthians 5:14
• Acts 16:25-26
• Jeremiah 30:16
• Isaiah 42:22

Frequently Asked Questions

Why do you need to be filled with the Spirit before being led?

Tonny Tshibangu builds on Luke 4:1: Jesus is first filled with the Holy Spirit, then led by the Spirit. He draws this principle from it: "Before being led, there is fullness." God leads those he fills, and being comes before doing.

What does the prayer "Grant me the grace to love you" mean?

It is a prayer the preacher says he learned from his spiritual father and that kept coming back during a retreat. For him, we do not love God simply because we want to or because we heard a teaching, but because we have raised a cry to him. He presents it as one of the most powerful prayers one can pray.

Why seek the transformation of the heart before deliverance?

Building on the unclean spirit that returns and finds the house empty (Matthew 12:43-45), the preacher urges us not to seek deliverance first without being filled with God. The evil treasures of the heart, such as bitterness, jealousy or ego, must come out so that the image of Christ can appear.