Introduction
Conflict in the church is not a sign of spiritual failure: the Bible speaks about it openly and traces a path for working through it. That path rests on four attitudes: pursuing peace, speaking with gentleness, following the process described in Matthew 18, and forgiving as Christ forgave. Here are 15 verses to guide you, grouped along these four steps. Each verse is quoted in full, with a link to BibleGateway and one or two sentences of context.
Pursuing Peace First
1. Matthew 5:9
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."
At the beginning of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus associates peacemakers with the very identity of God's children. Working for peace is part of the Christian calling. Read Matthew 5:9.
2. Romans 12:18
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
Paul recognizes that peace does not always depend on you alone. But he asks you to do everything that does depend on you. Read Romans 12:18.
3. Matthew 5:23-24
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift."
Jesus places reconciliation before worship: the relationship with your brother comes before the offering. Unresolved conflict is not a minor matter in the life of the church. Read Matthew 5:23-24.
4. Hebrews 12:14
"Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."
The author of this epistle places the pursuit of peace on the same level as holiness in the believer's life. It is an active pursuit, not a passive wait. Read Hebrews 12:14.
These verses connect with what the Bible says about serving one another: to go further, read our pillar article 25 Bible verses on serving in the church.
Speaking with Gentleness and Listening
5. Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
In a disagreement, the way you respond often matters more than the substance. This proverb describes the immediate effect of tone. Read Proverbs 15:1.
6. Proverbs 15:18
"A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel."
The book of Proverbs contrasts the hot-tempered person, who ignites quarrels, with the patient person, who extinguishes them. Patience is already an act of peace. Read Proverbs 15:18.
7. James 1:19
"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."
James summarizes the posture to adopt in a disagreement: listen first, speak next, hold back anger. The order of the three verbs is no accident. Read James 1:19.
8. Ephesians 4:26
"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry."
Paul does not deny anger, but he sets a time limit: do not let it carry over from one day to the next. Read Ephesians 4:26.
The Matthew 18 Process: Going to See Your Brother
9. Matthew 18:15
"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over."
The first step in the process Jesus gives: a private conversation, one-on-one, without talking about it to others. The stated goal is to win your brother, not to win the argument. Read Matthew 18:15.
10. Matthew 18:16
"But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses."
If the one-on-one conversation fails, Jesus asks you to bring one or two witnesses to help settle the matter. The approach remains measured and progressive. Read Matthew 18:16.
11. Luke 17:3
"So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them."
Jesus holds two things together: rebuking your brother with truth, and forgiving them as soon as they repent. One does not go without the other. Read Luke 17:3.
A conflict worked through with this process protects the unity of the body: also discover our 20 verses on church unity.
Forgiving as Christ Forgave
12. Ephesians 4:32
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
The model for Christian forgiveness is not our natural generosity, but the forgiveness we received from God in Christ. Read Ephesians 4:32.
13. Colossians 3:13
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Paul is addressing a community: bearing with one another and forgiving are part of normal church life, not the exception. Read Colossians 3:13.
14. Matthew 6:14
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."
Right after the Lord's Prayer, Jesus ties the forgiveness received from God to the forgiveness given to others. Forgiveness is not optional in the life of a disciple. Read Matthew 6:14.
15. Proverbs 19:11
"A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."
Wisdom also knows how to pass over an offense without making it an issue. Not every slight deserves a confrontation. Read Proverbs 19:11.
And because a conflict is also worked through on your knees, you can continue with our 20 verses to pray for your church.
Key Takeaways
- The Bible does not ask us to avoid conflict, but to work through it by actively pursuing peace (Romans 12:18; Hebrews 12:14).
- Reconciliation comes before worship: Jesus asks us to leave our offering and go be reconciled first (Matthew 5:23-24).
- The Matthew 18 process always begins with a private conversation, one-on-one, with the goal of winning your brother (Matthew 18:15-16).
- A gentle answer and a quick ear defuse many quarrels (Proverbs 15:1; James 1:19).
- Christian forgiveness is grounded in the forgiveness received from God in Christ (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13).
Further reading
Frequently Asked Questions
What does the Bible say about conflict between Christians?
The Bible does not deny conflict: it takes it seriously and provides a path for working through it. It asks us to pursue peace as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18), to go speak directly and privately to the person involved (Matthew 18:15), and to forgive as God forgave us in Christ (Ephesians 4:32).
How do you apply Matthew 18 in a church conflict?
Jesus describes a progressive process. First, go see your brother one-on-one, without talking about it to others (Matthew 18:15). If they will not listen, take one or two others along to help with the dialogue (Matthew 18:16). The goal at each step is not to be right, but to win your brother and restore the relationship.
Must we always reconcile after a conflict?
Forgiveness is required of all believers, without condition (Matthew 6:14; Colossians 3:13). Reconciliation, however, involves both parties: Luke 17:3 ties it to the repentance of the one who offended. Romans 12:18 also acknowledges that peace does not always depend on you alone. Do your part, with gentleness and perseverance, and entrust the rest to God.
to take notes and ask questions.