Loved to Love: Love Is an Identity

Introduction

What does it really mean to be loved? If you think of love as an emotion that comes and goes, like butterflies in your stomach or the little heart of Valentine's Day, then you may have already wondered why you sometimes feel loved by God and sometimes feel infinitely far from him. The problem isn't God: it's the verb we use when we talk about love.

A message recently preached in the Momentum community starts from exactly that point: the foundations. Just as a house needs solid foundations to stand firm, your life needs to rest on something truly stable. And the rock here is a small grammatical discovery: the difference between the verb to have and the verb to be. In this article, we'll walk together through that distinction, until we discover the face of love whose name is Jesus Christ.

Article Outline

From grade school to identity: the verb to have and the verb to be
"God is love": when love isn't a feeling but an identity (1 John 4:7-8)
At the burning bush: the love called "I am" (Exodus 3, Psalm 23)
The "I am" sayings of Jesus: the face of love in the Gospel of John
The disciple resting on the heart of Jesus (1 John 4:18, John 15:13)

1. From grade school to identity: the verb to have and the verb to be

Think back to grade school, when we were taught to conjugate verbs. The verb to have: I have, you have, he has. The verb to be: I am, you are, he is. It seems trivial, but this small piece of grammar hides one of the deepest keys for understanding faith.

With the verb to have, we talk about what we possess or desire. With the verb to be, on the other hand, we talk about who we are. We talk about our identity. And that is exactly where every serious conversation about love has to begin: with identity.

Because when you think of love as something you have (a sensation, an emotion, a flutter in your stomach), love becomes fragile. Emotions are like a roller coaster: they go up and down. One day you feel loved, the next you feel completely alone. And you end up believing God works the same way: that one day he loves us, and another day he forgets us. But that isn't how God works.

2. "God is love": when love isn't a feeling but an identity (1 John 4:7-8)

The apostle John writes: "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love" (1 John 4:7-8). Pause on that sentence for a moment. John doesn't write that "God loves." He writes that "God is love." The verb changes everything.

If God merely loved, love would be a feeling God possesses, and like every feeling, it could come to an end. But if God is love, love isn't something God has: it's what God is. It's his nature, his identity. And God cannot stop being himself.

That changes everything for you too. God doesn't love you because you're lovable, he doesn't love you because you've earned it, he doesn't love you because you've done something good. God loves you because God is love. Full stop. His identity is the guarantee of his affection. Valentine's Day, with its little hearts, its butterflies, its songs, was beautiful, but fragile. God's love, on the other hand, doesn't waver, because it doesn't depend on a feeling, but on a being.

3. At the burning bush: the love called "I am" (Exodus 3, Psalm 23)

If you want to understand where this verb to be leads, go back to the burning bush. Moses stands before God, feels incapable, and asks: "If the people ask me who sent me, what shall I say?" And God answers with a seemingly simple sentence: "I am who I am. Say to the people of Israel: I am has sent me to you" (Exodus 3:14).

What is God really telling Moses? At its core, he's saying: "I am here. I am present with you. I am present for you. Wherever you go, I will be there." Because love, once it stops being a feeling and becomes an identity, takes the shape of presence. Love is presence. It is being there.

That is why Psalm 23 can say: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me." Not "because you feel something for me," but "because you are with me." Even when you feel unworthy, even when you think you've done too much wrong, even when God seems light years away, the truth is that "I am" is still there. His love isn't earned, it isn't deserved: it is received.

4. The "I am" sayings of Jesus: the face of love in the Gospel of John

You might ask: what shape does this love take? What color is it? We imagine it red, shaped like a heart, but those are just human representations. Love has a face and a name: it's called Jesus Christ. John says it plainly: "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9). God didn't just tell us he loves us: he showed us.

In the Gospel of John, Jesus repeats one small, immense phrase: "I am." Seven declarations that are so many windows opened onto the love of God:

"I am the bread of life" (John 6:35): because there is a deep need within you, and only Jesus can truly satisfy it.
"I am the light of the world" (John 8:12): because you sometimes feel confused and lost, and the light of Jesus brings clarity back to your steps.
"I am the door" (John 10:9): because you don't always know where to go, and in him you find refuge and true peace.
"I am the good shepherd" (John 10:11): because you need to be cared for and protected, and he takes care of you.
"I am the resurrection and the life" (John 11:25): because there are dreams within you that have died, and Jesus can bring them back to life.
"I am the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6): because he is the guide, and the right position is behind him, not ahead of him.
"I am the true vine" (John 15:1): because you are a branch, and only by remaining in him does the sap of love flow through you and reach others.

Notice how these "I am" sayings intertwine: they are identity and love at the same time. Jesus doesn't explain love to you, he shows it to you in his own person. Just as God showed himself in Jesus, you too can show Jesus to the world, because what the world needs is to see a heart full of love like his.

5. The disciple resting on the heart of Jesus (1 John 4:18, John 15:13)

In his Gospel, John defines himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." That might sound almost presumptuous, right? But it isn't presumption: it's an awareness. John had understood, better than anyone, just how loved he was. And what matters most for you today isn't understanding how much you love Jesus, but how much Jesus loves you. Everything else comes after.

At the Last Supper, John makes a small yet very profound gesture: he lays his head on the chest of Jesus. Why? Because his soul, that evening, was troubled. The disciples had just heard talk of death, betrayal, abandonment. It was a heavy evening. And John, instead of saying anything, simply makes a gesture: "I want to rest here, in your love, because it's your love that gives me security and peace."

That is why John will later write: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear" (1 John 4:18). When you rest on the heart of Jesus, fear dissolves, because you're resting in a love greater than fear itself.

Shortly after, that same evening, a cohort of soldiers (about six hundred men) arrives to arrest a single man. And what does Jesus do? He steps forward. He asks who they're looking for, and when he answers "I am," they all fall to the ground. The power of "I am" isn't used to destroy, but to give himself up. This is a perfect love, the kind that gives itself: "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13).

So let's return to the verbs. I need love. You need love. We all need love. But remember this: I only have love to give if the I Am lives in me. I will only show love to others if Jesus Christ is in me. The love you give is never a resource you produce: it's sap you receive.

Key Takeaways

The verb to have speaks of what you possess; the verb to be speaks of who you are. God's love belongs to the verb to be.
"God is love" (1 John 4:8) means love is his identity, not a changing feeling.
The "I am" of the burning bush reveals that to love means to be present: God is there, wherever you go.
The seven "I am" sayings in the Gospel of John show you the face of God's love in the person of Jesus.
You cannot have love to give if "I am" isn't in you: the love you offer comes from the love you receive.

Personal Application

Do you live God's love through the verb to have or the verb to be? When you "feel" it little, what do you conclude?
Is there an area where you think you don't deserve God's love? How would your heart change if you accepted that God loves you because he "is," not because you're good?
Which of Jesus's seven "I am" sayings speaks to you most today: bread, light, door, shepherd, resurrection, way, or true vine? Why?
Like John at the Last Supper, where do you need to lay your head on the heart of Jesus this week?
Is there someone around you to whom you could let the sap of the love you've received flow? What concrete gesture could you make this week?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

What difference does it make to say "God is love" rather than "God loves"?

If God "loves," love is a feeling within him, one that could potentially vary. If God "is" love, love is his identity: he cannot stop loving you without ceasing to be himself. That's why God's love isn't earned, it's received.

What does it mean that love is "presence"?

At the burning bush, God presents himself to Moses as "I am" (Exodus 3:14). He doesn't promise a feeling, he promises his presence: "I will be with you." Psalm 23 also says: "You are with me." To love, in the biblical sense, isn't to feel something: it's to be there for the other person, just as God is there for you.

Why look to Jesus to understand love?

Because in Jesus, John says, the love of God was "made manifest" (1 John 4:9): love took on a face. The seven "I am" sayings in the Gospel of John show you how God takes care of you, and the cross shows how far that love goes: "There is no greater love than this" (John 15:13).

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