The Disciple, His Family, and the Family of God (Part 2)

Introduction

Pastor Célestin YAO continues his sermon on a subject few disciples dare to look at head on: the link between our call to follow Jesus and our biological family. Homeland, our fathers' house, blood ties, traditions: all of that reaches into the deepest part of us. Leaving your country is already hard; leaving your homeland, a little harder still; but leaving your father's house, as God asked Abraham to do, touches our most sensitive spot. And yet that is exactly where Jesus wants to take you. In this message, you will discover that God has a plan of blessing for your family, that a disciple faces particular demands regarding his loved ones, and that the family of God calls for an even greater commitment than the one bound by blood.

Outline of the message

1. God and family in a relationship of covenant

• The starting point is the call of Abraham: "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed" (Genesis 12:1-3).
• This is not a pastor saying it. It is God saying it. In God's thinking, as early as Genesis, all the families of the earth are blessed in Abraham. Your family is part of that. My family is part of that.
• The plan God has for your household is not a plan of ruin. It is a plan for peace, not for disaster. Do not accuse God. He has already blessed your family in Abraham.
• The pastor's second conviction: in every family, God has always planned at least one man or woman he sets apart in a particular way, so that through them the needs of the family would be met.
• The problem is that most of the time, the family does not recognize that person. It fights the one whose star is shining, even though that person was meant to become the door of blessing for the household. Sometimes, without even meaning to, people kill the "Joseph" of their own family, and afterward accuse God of being unjust.
• Joseph had done nothing wrong. He was 17, with the innocence of a young man, and a dream. His brothers hated him because of his dreams and his words (Genesis 37:5-8). But God used their wickedness to accomplish his plan. Joseph could later say, "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today" (Genesis 50:20).
• God has planned a "Joseph" in your family, and he is hoping it will be you, the instrument of favor for your loved ones. Do not look at your size. Do not look at your current condition. Look at the dream God is giving you.
• When you get serious with God, there are family curses that no longer have any effect on you in the name of Jesus Christ. Because of the finished work of Christ, everything is transformed. The curse stays where it is, and what comes upon you and your descendants is favor, blessing, and distinction.

2. What discipleship demands in relation to your biological family

• Our point of weakness is always the family environment: blood ties, the attachment of the soul. We have a particular sensitivity when it touches our family, and that is precisely where we stop taking the time to seek God.
• Often we take things for granted: "It's my brother, it's my sister, it's my mother, I have to go." We do not even pray anymore. We act without consulting God, and that is where the disciple loses ground.
• In Luke 9:59-62, three men want to follow Jesus. To the first, who promises to follow him everywhere, Jesus answers, "Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." No promise of comfort.
• To the second, who asks to first go bury his father, Jesus answers, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God." This is not a man who has just lost his father, this is a man putting Jesus into a future plan. Jesus refuses to come second.
• To the third, who wants to first go say goodbye to his family, Jesus answers that no one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God. The pastor says it bluntly: at that family gathering, the odds that he would stop following Jesus were 99 percent. Loved ones will persuade, pressure, and hold you back.
• Let us bless God for the men and women whose families let them go to serve Jesus. That is not a small thing. There are parents who have other plans for your life. Going to church is one thing; being consecrated to ministry is another, and it is often experienced as a tearing apart.
• Another sensitivity: in relation to our own family, we are always in a position of weakness when it comes to announcing the gospel. Jesus himself, arriving in Nazareth, hears his own people say, "Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon?" (Mark 6:3-4). He could do no mighty work there. A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown, among his relatives, and in his own household.
• Your family environment often limits your faith, and the faith others grant you. Be aware that in relation to your own family, there will always be a certain resistance. But if you persevere, you will become an extraordinary source of blessing for them.

3. A commitment greater than your biological family

• Jesus is about to set a demand that seems shocking at first: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple" (Luke 14:26).
• Jesus is not calling you to despise your parents. He is using the Semitic way of taking a strong word to mark an absolute contrast: the love you owe him must be at such a level that, compared to it, your love for your family would look like hatred.
• Why? Because there are situations where Jesus will ask you to choose. If you do not love him more than your father and mother, you will not be able to follow him. When he tells you "go," you will obey, and he himself will take care of your parents.
• In your biological family, you loved your father, your mother, brothers and sisters. But when you enter the family of God, you keep loving your own, and you love Jesus above all else.
• Jesus' regard for the family of God is very high. In Mark 3:32-35, someone tells him, "Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you." He answers, "Who are my mother and my brothers?" Then, looking around at those who sat around him, he says, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother."
• This is not contempt. It is a matter of priorities. Jesus must see things according to the mission he was given for the salvation of a multitude.
• His own parents understood it. At the foot of the cross, he looks at Mary and says, "Woman, behold your son," then to John, "Behold your mother." And John took her into his own home. Jesus took care of her, but he had come for a mission greater than blood ties.
• The most beautiful gift you can give your family is not 100 years of your presence. It is that they be saved. Your concern is no longer the small matters: it is that they spend eternity with you.
• Never weigh your biological family in the same balance as your spiritual family. God sees a multitude he wants to save, and your family is part of it. He wants to reveal himself as the Father of a multitude: "The Lord is Dad, God Almighty is Dad."
• At first, Jesus' brothers and sisters did not believe in him. But after the cross, Mary was at the foot of the cross, and on the day of Pentecost, she was in the upper room with the disciples who received the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:14; Acts 2). The disciple's perseverance eventually opens the door of salvation for his loved ones.

Key takeaways

• God has a plan of blessing for your family, not one of ruin. All the families of the earth are blessed in Abraham.
• In every family, God raises up a man or a woman he sets apart to be a door of salvation. He wants that to be you.
• Your place of greatest sensitivity (family) is also your place of greatest spiritual weakness. Redouble your prayer before acting on anything that touches it.
• Following Jesus does not mean despising your loved ones. It means loving him with a love so much greater that your family remains second in your order of priorities.
• The most beautiful gift you can give your family is not your eternal physical presence. It is their salvation. It is your perseverance in the covenant.

Personal application

• Do you recognize that God has a plan of blessing for your family, or have you accused him for what your lineage has gone through? What do you want to lay before him today?
• Are you ready to stand up as the "Joseph" of your household, whatever battles, mockery, or misunderstanding may come?
• When a family situation arises (a death, an emergency, a gathering), do you really take the time to seek God before acting? Or do you go simply "because it's family"?
• Is there a demand from Jesus that you push back because it puts you in conflict with your loved ones? What would happen if you obeyed Jesus first?
• Do your words toward the family of God (brothers and sisters in the church) carry the same weight of consideration as those toward your biological family? Where do you need to make an adjustment?

Verses cited

• Genesis 12:1-3 · the call of Abraham and the blessing of all the families of the earth
• Genesis 37:5-8 · Joseph's dream and his brothers' hatred
• Genesis 50:20 · "You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good"
• Ephesians 1:3 · blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ
• Luke 9:59-62 · the three would-be disciples
• Mark 6:3-4 · a prophet is not without honor except in his hometown
• Luke 14:26 · preferring Jesus over your own family
• Mark 3:32-35 · "Who are my mother and my brothers?"
• Acts 16:31 · "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household"
• 1 Timothy 2:4 · God desires all people to be saved
• John 3:16 · "For God so loved the world"

Frequently asked questions

What does Jesus mean when he asks us to "hate" our father and mother (Luke 14:26)?

Jesus is not calling you to despise your parents. He is using a Semitic turn of phrase that takes a strong word to mark a contrast: the love you owe him must be at such a level that, compared to it, your love for your family would look like hatred. It is an order of priority, not a rejection. You keep honoring your parents. But when Jesus asks something of you, you obey Jesus first, and he himself will take care of your loved ones.

How can I become a source of blessing for my family according to this message?

God has planned, in every family, at least one man or woman he sets apart to bless the whole household. This is the Joseph principle: God raises up someone who will become a door of salvation, favor, and blessing for their loved ones. If you take your walk with God seriously, if you persevere despite mockery and battles, your prayers and your covenant with God will cover your family. Your brother, your sister, your parents will experience graces they cannot explain, but that come from your consecration.

How does Jesus react when someone wants to follow him but puts their family first?

In Luke 9:59-62, three men come to Jesus. The first does not accept the material conditions of discipleship. The second asks to go bury his father first, and Jesus answers, "Leave the dead to bury their own dead." The third wants to first say goodbye to his family, and Jesus answers that no one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom. The message: when Jesus calls, family cannot be the excuse that makes you back away. He asks you to prefer him, and he commits himself to blessing your family through your obedience.