Matthew 5: Divorce, Remarriage and Covenant in a World of Convenience

Introduction

Malcolm Duncan, senior pastor of Kensington Temple in London, continues his verse-by-verse reading of Matthew 5. After the anger behind murder, then the desire behind adultery, he arrives at Matthew 5:31-32. On the surface, the question is divorce and remarriage. At the heart, the question is covenant: commitments for a whole lifetime.

"We are not going to dodge it," he announces. But before opening the text, he offers a pastoral word: this message is not meant to shame anyone who is divorced, separated or remarried, and it gives no one permission to speculate about another person's story. Some carry decisions they regret. Others have suffered betrayal, abandonment, coercion, violence. Others remarried after being widowed. Some were divorced against their will.

The pastor then speaks of covenant beyond marriage: in the Church, in the city, in society. For, he says, "the opposite of covenant is not freedom. The opposite of covenant is fragmentation."

Outline of the Message

1. A Word of Protection First

"The Church of Jesus Christ must never use the words of Jesus Christ to trap someone in danger."
Reconciliation is a Christian hope, but it cannot be demanded where abuse, manipulation or threats continue. Forgiveness does not require you to remove fair boundaries. Repentance is more than an apology, and rebuilding trust requires truth, safety and visible change.
If you are in danger, getting to safety is not betraying your marriage. Protecting your children is not a failure of faith. Reporting criminal behavior is neither gossip nor disobedience to the Bible. The Church must stand beside vulnerable people and call on the authorities when necessary.
"Divorce is not an unforgivable sin." The Gospel proclaims forgiveness, cleansing, restoration and a new creation in Jesus Christ. "Your story may shape you, but in Christ, do not let it imprison you."
Once these safeguards are in place, we must let the words of Jesus challenge us. They are severe because people matter to him, and broken promises have consequences. "Ask anyone who has been betrayed."

2. What the Law of Moses Protected

In Matthew 5:31, Jesus alludes to Deuteronomy 24:1-4. This passage regulates what happens when a marriage is already broken, and it requires a certificate of divorce to protect the woman.
The text describes a woman sent away by her husband, who has remarried, and whom the first husband would like to take back afterward: this is not permitted. For the pastor, God's message to Moses is clear: "she is not merchandise, she is not an object," and she must be treated with dignity and respect.
The Bible allows divorce and remarriage in certain cases. In Exodus 21:7-11, according to the preacher, a slave wife who is neglected, abandoned or mistreated by her husband is free to divorce and remarry. In Deuteronomy 24, the divorced woman remarries. "When you are told that the Bible says no one can ever divorce or remarry, you are reading the text very differently from what it says."
Malcolm Duncan says openly that he celebrates the remarriage of divorced people, and he believes he does so while remaining faithful to theology and to the Bible. He does not impose his position on his colleagues: in the Elim movement, each pastor is free to express his or her conscience, while remaining in agreement with the statement of faith.

3. Jesus Rejects Divorce "for Any Reason"

In Jesus' day, two rabbinic schools were opposed to each other, that of Hillel and that of Shammai. The school of Hillel, that of the Pharisees according to the preacher, had gradually taken away women's freedoms.
It had changed Moses' teaching on three points: in case of adultery, the husband had to divorce (Moses said he could); only the man could divorce; and divorce became possible for any reason at all. The expression in Deuteronomy 24:1, "something indecent," had come to mean whatever the man decided.
It was enough for the man to declare three times in public: "I divorce you." The marriage was annulled, the woman driven out, with no rights at all. This is what was called divorce "for any cause."
In Matthew 19 and Mark 10, the Pharisees ask Jesus whether it is lawful to divorce one's wife "for any cause." For the pastor, they are not asking him about divorce in general: they are asking which camp he is in. One of the great errors of evangelical interpretation, he says, has been to read that Jesus forbids all divorce, when he in fact rejects the technique of divorce "for any cause."
Jesus rejects the objectification of women and the idea that a woman belongs to a man. The pastor addresses the women in the congregation: "You are worth no less than a man." No cell group leader and no pastor of this Church has the right to dictate your life, or to use Scripture to justify abusive behavior.
Throughout Matthew 5, Jesus goes beneath mere conformity to expose the heart. Do not congratulate yourself for not having killed: confront the anger that dehumanizes. Do not congratulate yourself for avoiding physical adultery: confront the desire that turns the other person into an object.
Do not congratulate yourself because your divorce papers are in order. Ask yourself whether you have acted faithfully toward the person to whom you made promises. "A certificate can establish that something is legal, but it does not necessarily establish that it is loving, just or faithful."
Jesus does not abolish the law; he reveals the righteousness of the kingdom toward which it was pointing. The people of the kingdom do not merely ask: "What am I allowed to do?" They ask: "How can I embody faithfulness to God?"

4. Covenant, Deeper Than a Contract

A covenant is a solemn, morally binding relationship in which people freely give themselves to one another, accept lasting obligations for each other's good, and answer to God for their faithfulness.
A contract exchanges goods or services: "I provide this if you provide that." A covenant exchanges persons: "I give myself to you, and I take responsibility for your good." A contract asks whether the conditions have been met; a covenant asks how we can remain faithful to the promises made.
In Genesis 15, Abraham sees animals cut in two and a fire passing between the pieces. Normally, the one who breaks the covenant suffers the fate of the animals. Here, God says in effect: "This is what you may do to me if you break my covenant." That is what happens at the cross: we break the covenant, and the Son of God is "torn," not for what he did, but for what we did.
The gesture of placing a hand under the thigh (Genesis 24:2) meant that the commitment bound all descendants, forever.
God acts by covenant with Noah, Abraham, Moses, David, and announces through Jeremiah a new covenant written on hearts. At the Lord's Supper, Jesus speaks of the cup of the new covenant. Covenant begins when God, by grace, comes to us and binds himself to us. Marriage is its most visible physical expression; the pastor, after talking it over with his wife that very morning, adds baptism, received once, and adoption.

5. God Hates Divorce, Not Divorced People

In Malachi 2:16, God says: "I hate divorce." Many Christians, especially evangelicals and Pentecostals, have understood that God hates divorced people. "God does not hate divorced people. He hates divorce."
Why? Because, in the language of the prophets, God himself has known divorce. In Hosea 1 to 3 and in Jeremiah 3, he divorces unfaithful Israel. He even removes the signet ring from Jehoiachin (Jeremiah 22:24). And in Hosea, he marries his people again; in Haggai 2:23, he says: "I will make you as a signet."
"God hates divorce because God knows its pain." The pastor says he has never met a divorced person who does not hate divorce. He has seen shattered dreams and torn lives. And it is not always the fault of both: sometimes one completely betrays the other. He himself watched two of his brothers go through a divorce.
Two options would be simpler: never remarry a divorced person, or never refuse to. "Jesus gives us neither of these options."
When a divorced person asks him to perform a wedding, he wants to understand what happened. Were you a Christian at the time of the divorce? Do you understand its consequences? Have you repaired the wrong you may have done? Have you been healed from the pain? Do you agree to be accompanied by the Church? If the answer is: "No, I just want you to marry me," he declines. "It is not that I am controlling someone, it is that I am faithful to Scripture."
The Church therefore refuses two things. Convenience divorce: "I don't love him anymore, he doesn't make me happy, I've met someone I love more." To a married person who announced, as a gift from God, that she had fallen in love with someone else, he replied: "You are asking me to rejoice over a sin." And to "I don't choose who I fall in love with," he answers: "Yes, you can." But the Church also refuses permanence imposed by coercion: no one can force you to stay in a marriage.

6. Five Pastoral Principles

Honor the seriousness of the marriage covenant.
Distinguish ordinary marital difficulties from abuse: physical violence, threats, sexual coercion, controlling behavior, financial restrictions, harassment, humiliation, isolation of the spouse. Where coercive control is active, couples therapy can even be dangerous, because it gives the abuser information or leverage.
Do not make reconciliation an idol. It requires truth, repentance and safety. It may be hoped for, but never for appearances or to protect the reputation of an institution: "Your well-being matters more than our reputation."
Treat remarriage with moral seriousness and pastoral grace: what happened, where does the situation stand, is anything left unresolved?
Refuse to stigmatize divorced people. Divorced, separated, remarried or single, you are not second-class or suspect. Grace restores to the person worship, full communion with God and, when possible, service. "The Church must hold its convictions and its compassion together, because that is what Jesus does."

7. Covenant Rather Than Convenience

The pastor cites the book Covenant by British member of parliament Danny Kruger: a healthy society is not built on contracts, consumption and individual choice alone. It needs places where people accept obligations toward one another: marriages, families, neighborhoods, Churches, associations.
Without a shared commitment, everything comes apart, as in the time of the Judges when everyone did what seemed right in their own eyes (Judges 21:25). Kensington Temple brings together 135 nationalities: it is not a Nigerian, Ghanaian or Filipino Church. Its shared commitment is Christ: telling the truth, honoring one another, keeping the Bible at the center, Jesus as Lord, leaving freedom to the Spirit.
A stranger once called him: a lawyer in London, he wanted to come to the Church so that someone would find him a job, and promised in return to give the tithe. The pastor told him to ask God for a job rather than ask him to manipulate the members of the Church. "If you are not careful, you replace covenant with convenience."
"When every commitment lasts only as long as my preference, the powerful prosper and the vulnerable pay the price." Children need adults who remain responsible, and older people need communities that do not abandon them when care becomes costly. The question is not only "What are my rights?" but also "What are my responsibilities?"
Martin Luther described sin as a heart curved in on itself. Israel wanted the blessings of God's people without its responsibilities, and the Church runs the same risk when it blames society for its failures without dealing with its own sin. "We must first live up to these demands."
The pastor reminds us that the pulpit is not there to ignore society but to speak to it, citing Herman Melville, the author of Moby Dick. The Church lives as a countercultural community: the world may measure your worth by your skin color or your salary, but the Church does not. We enter it by confessing that Jesus is Lord (Romans 10:9).
"Do not leave this room condemned." Your whole life can become an act of worship. "We are a Church that keeps covenant, because we have a God who keeps covenant. And he is faithful."

Key Takeaways

Divorce is not an unforgivable sin, and the Church must never use the words of Jesus to keep someone in danger.
Jesus rejects divorce "for any cause," which turned the woman into an object; having the paperwork in order is not enough to make a separation faithful or just.
A covenant does not exchange services but persons: it asks how to remain faithful to the promises made before God.
God hates divorce because he knows its pain, but he does not hate divorced people.
The opposite of covenant is not freedom, it is fragmentation: the Church is called to live out commitment rather than convenience.

Personal Application

If you have been through a divorce, are you letting your story shape you without imprisoning you, by receiving the forgiveness and restoration the Gospel proclaims?
In your relationships, do you only ask "What am I allowed to do?" or also "How can I remain faithful to my promises?"
How do you look at the divorced, separated, remarried or single people in your Church: with suspicion, or as full brothers and sisters?
Do you come to Church mostly for what you can receive there, or to commit yourself to Christ and to others?
If you are in an abusive situation, who can you contact this week to get yourself and your children to safety?

Verses Cited

Frequently Asked Questions

What does Jesus denounce in Matthew 5:31-32?

According to Malcolm Duncan, Jesus is responding to the "divorce for any cause" taught by the school of Hillel: a man could send away his wife for anything that displeased him, and the woman lost all her rights. Jesus refuses to let the woman be treated as an object and reminds us that a certificate can make something legal without making it loving, just or faithful.

Is divorce an unforgivable sin?

No. The preacher states it plainly: the Gospel proclaims forgiveness, cleansing, restoration and a new creation in Jesus Christ. Your story may shape you, but in Christ it does not have to imprison you. Divorced people are not second-class Christians.

What is the difference between a covenant and a contract?

A contract exchanges goods or services and asks whether the agreed conditions have been met. A covenant exchanges persons: "I give myself to you and I take responsibility for your good." It asks how we can remain faithful to the promises made, before God.