Marriage: A Living Picture of the Gospel

Introduction

Before talking about marriage, we must talk about the Gospel. That's the surprising bet behind this first session of a five-part couples' course: devoting two-thirds of the time to revisiting what Christ came to do for us, before saying a single word about everyday life as a couple. The reason is simple: if we agree on the Gospel and on what marriage is in light of the Gospel, everything else becomes possible. If we don't, no practical advice will hold.

Outline of the Message

1. What is the Gospel?

• Humanity was created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27), God's communicable attributes (knowledge, wisdom, love, holiness, justice) give every human being an inherent dignity.
• Because of sin, humanity is under the just wrath of God (Romans 1:18-21). We know God through creation, but we refuse to give him glory, and he gives us over to our own futile reasoning.
• The wages of sin is death, eternal separation from God (Romans 6:23). This is not just a conflict to resolve, it is a debt to pay.
• Christ absorbs God's wrath in our place: he becomes our propitiation (Romans 3:25-26; 2 Corinthians 5:21; Romans 8:3; Galatians 3:13; 1 Peter 2:24; 1 Peter 3:18). Only a sinless human being, fully man and fully God at once, could take our place. God's initiative in salvation is complex and determined.

2. What must I do to be saved?

• Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 16:31; John 1:12).
• Repent, not simply "change your attitude" the way we'd tell a child, but have a genuine disgust for sin and turn from it toward God (Acts 3:19).
• Obey Christ, meaning accept the salvation he offers and let his Word guide our lives (Hebrews 5:9).
• Become like a little child, deny yourself, and take up your cross (Matthew 18:3; Mark 8:34). Love Jesus more than our parents, our spouses, our children (Matthew 10:37). Give up everything we own (Luke 14:33).
• Not out of fear, but out of joy: like the one who finds a hidden treasure and sells everything to acquire it (Matthew 13:44). Our response to God is likewise complex and determined, a matter of every moment, not a single decision.

3. What is marriage in light of the Gospel?

• Marriage precedes the fall. God unites man and woman in Genesis 2:24, before sin enters the scene in Genesis 3. What the Bible says about marriage is not an emergency repair, it is the original design.
• Paul quotes Genesis 2:24 in Ephesians 5:22-33 to reveal a mystery: marriage is a living picture of the relationship between Christ and his Church. "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."
• The purpose of marriage is not to have a life partner, nor to celebrate romantic love, nor even to have children, even though all of that is good and part of the picture. The main purpose is to show the world a living image of the Gospel.
• Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church. Wives, submit to your husbands as the Church submits to Christ. In both cases, it is complex, it is determined, and it is the very reason marriage exists.

4. Why is this purpose difficult to fulfill?

• Because we are two sinners living together, whereas Christ is a perfect husband. We already don't know how to respond rightly to a perfect husband, imagine what happens with an imperfect husband and an imperfect wife under the same roof.
• Because many couples, including Christian ones, don't even have this purpose in mind. We make every decision according to our preferences, without ever asking how our marriage reflects the Gospel.
• Because today's society makes this path costly: embracing sacrifice, service, and long-term commitment can provoke hostile reactions.
• Because we forget the Gospel, or rather, we compartmentalize it: we unconsciously say that the Gospel touches this part of our life but not that one, when in fact it touches everything and changes everything.

5. What assurance do we have that this is possible after all?

• Because God completes what he begins: "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6, quoted from memory).
• Because Christ triumphed at the cross. Marriage, an image of the Gospel, was planned before the fall and confirmed by Christ's victory. It is possible not because of us, but because of the work of Christ.
• Because we see couples around us who endure, marriages of 20 years, 23 years, more. Their testimony makes hope concrete.
• Because marriage is an image, not a copy. The goal is not to reproduce identically Christ's love for his Church, but to point to it. This distinction removes the pressure of reaching something unreachable.
• Because God is faithful. "He will also strengthen you to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son." (1 Corinthians 1:7-9)

6. What about single people?

• You want the image, it's good to desire it. But you already have the reality in Christ. There is no one here who, in Christ, has missed out on anything essential.
• Marriage is not only an image of the Gospel, but every good reason to marry (faithfulness, fruitfulness, love overflowing to others), points to a particular attribute of the love between Christ and his Church.
• Talking about marriage, for everyone, is talking about the Gospel. Every time we discuss it, we are reminded of what we truly have in Christ.

Key Takeaways

• If a couple agrees on the Gospel and on what marriage is in light of the Gospel, everything else becomes possible.
• God's initiative in our salvation is complex and determined; our response to that initiative is just as much so.
• Marriage precedes the fall: it is not a response to sin, it is God's original design.
• The purpose of marriage is not companionship, romantic love, or children, it is to show the world a living image of the relationship between Christ and his Church.
• Marriage is an image, not a copy: our marriage points to the original, it does not replace it, and that alone makes the goal attainable.

Personal Application

1. If someone asked you today "what is the Gospel?", how would you answer in three sentences? Does your answer connect to what Christ did to absorb God's wrath in your place?
2. Are there areas of your life (or your marriage), where you live as if the Gospel had nothing to do with them? Which ones?
3. If you are married: does your marriage consciously seek to give the world a picture of the relationship between Christ and the Church, or does it only aim to make you happy?
4. If you are engaged or in a relationship: do the decisions you're making right now (housing, work, schedule, conflicts) reflect this purpose, or only your mutual preferences?
5. If you are single: can you put into words what you already fully have in Christ, apart from a future spouse? How does that change your relationship to your present life?

Scriptures Cited

• Genesis 1:26-27
• Genesis 2:24
• Romans 1:18-21
• Romans 6:23
• 1 Corinthians 1:23-24
• Romans 3:25-26
• 2 Corinthians 5:21
• Romans 8:3
• Galatians 3:13
• 1 Peter 2:24
• 1 Peter 3:18
• Acts 16:31
• John 1:12
• Acts 3:19
• Hebrews 5:9
• Matthew 18:3
• Mark 8:34
• Matthew 10:37
• Luke 14:33
• Matthew 13:44
• Ephesians 5:22-33
• Philippians 1:6
• 1 Corinthians 1:7-9

Frequently Asked Questions

Why start a couples' course with a session on the Gospel rather than practical advice?

Because without a shared understanding of the Gospel, no practical advice will hold up over time. A couple who agrees on what Christ came to do and on what marriage is in light of the Gospel may not agree on everything else: that will sometimes be difficult, but it is possible. A couple who does not agree on the Gospel, even if they agree on everything else, is not building the kind of marriage the Bible describes. The foundation determines everything that follows.

Is marriage only an image of the Gospel, or does it have other purposes too?

Marriage is not only an image, but the image is indeed its main purpose (this is what Paul drives home in Ephesians 5. The other good reasons to marry), faithfulness, having children, love overflowing to others, passion and sexuality between a man and a woman, are real and good, but each one points to a particular attribute of the love between Christ and the Church. Marriage is like an official portrait that the Bible highlights: one image among other possible ones, but the one God chose to place front and center.

If I'm single, how does this reflection on marriage concern me?

Because if marriage is an image of the Gospel, talking about it brings you face to face with the reality itself. A single Christian already has in Christ everything that is essential: he has missed out on nothing. Marriage is good to desire, but it does not give what only Christ gives. In talking about marriage, we are reminded of what we truly have in Christ (apart from a future spouse), and that concretely shapes what we expect, what we seek, and how we live our present life.